Parent teacher conference last night for ss12..

I knew I shouldn't have gone from the minute DH asked ss12 "so, am I going to hear good stuff or bad stuff from your teachers?" and ss12's reply was "I dunno...."

My gut told me it wasn't going to be all puppies and daisies, but DH wanted me to go and be a part of it..

So we get there and at first we hear the usual stuff about grades - which they were great (we knew this going in).. ss12 is extremely bright and really does have a gift with regards to learning.

Then one by one the teachers start telling us about their frustrations with ss12:

Science teacher basically said he was a major pain in his ass for the first month as he would screw off in the hallway when he is supposed to be getting ready for 1st period - every day to the point where he would arrive late to class or at the very last minute.. then would be a disruption because he was so disorganized. Then he would ask to get a drink or go to the bathroom. Finally the teacher got on him enough with enough consistency/zero tolerance and ss12 learned this guy wasn't going to take his shit, so he stopped his daily antics. Not to say it never happens, but it has gotten better.

His other teachers are sick of his blurting out things and his "correcting" what they say; for example one teacher referred to something being in a row and ss12 blurts out "well, actually it's not a row, it's a column".. there is also the fact that he doesn't like to sit in his chair in language arts - he prefers to stand the entire class and will keep getting up.

Math teacher pretty much is fed up with him.. he refuses to show his work step by step - which is required by everyone - and he states he "knows how to do it and doesn't need to show his work".. and he's "smarter than everyone in his class"..

Each teacher shared the same frustrations with him - all 5 of them. We sat there and listened to each of them for 40 minutes.

It's the same crap we deal with at home.. all of it. His whole attitude of he's in control and no one is gonna tell him what to do. How he half asses things he thinks are stupid or doesn't want to do just so he can get it over with and say he did it.

To top it off, we also are informed that he is starting to gravitate towards some kids we wouldn't want him around and is doing things to get their attention/fit in - like picking on kids.

So, DH and I walk out of there pretty flustered. Personally, I was flat out pissed off and wanted to say "well, if your ass would step up and consistently enforce boundaries and stop allowing him to manipulate you, we wouldn't be having this discussion with his teachers".. but I kept my mouth shut... it wasn't the time for the "I told you so."

We get home and DH wants to sit down and talk to ss12, who is sprawled out on the couch with his bag of Halloween candy... (when he has been told to ask before he eats any because he will gorge himself)..

As usual.. nothing is his fault and the teachers are all liars.. he freaks out and does the loud fake cry. When DH pretty much tells him to shut it, he begins the coughing fit since he's crying so hard.. this doesn't work - we don't fall for his crap.

I am literally at the point where I have zero patience left (not that I had much when we started this conversation) and want to strangle this kid..

Nothing is resolved because ss12 is the king of zero accountability and DH is clueless on how to handle this.

No consequences either since all of the issues happened in the past and ss12's pediatrician told DH consequences should be "immediate" not delayed or drawn out.

So I guess ss12 can be a huge pain in the ass to his teachers, just like he is at home and it's acceptable since he gets good grades.

what. the. fuck. ever.

Dh and I got into it because he constantly makes excuses for this kid and never tries to really make a consistent effort to modify his behavior because it's too much work and ss12 will one up him until he caves in or loses his temper and goes off - resulting in DH losing sight of what happened initially to start the whole debacle - ss12 acting like an ass...

I said "fine.. for the record, I'm not assisting logistically or financially when the shit hits the fan with this kid - and believe me, if he's acting like this at 12, by 16 you will be screwed. Don't come crying to me for moral support or sympathy - you created and fed this monster."

Not sure how else to handle it or what to say..