Hi everyone,
Im new to this site, but I found that all the other sites I could find were all about bm's and all they talked about was treating the new gf's and wives bad. I thought ehh nah, I needed people to relate to. Any who, I am 21 years old and not a step-mom but iam soon to be with someone who has a son. It all started when I met him "Bf/Bd" online. I wasn't a fan of online dating but I decided to give it a try since so many people I knew has success in it. Months past and I would talk to some men , but all of them were immature. Thats when bf/bd wrote me. We hit it off so well and I instantly fell for him. He was handsome, smart cute, and he had no kids. Which is rare in the African-American culture. We exchanged numbers and texted whenever we could . Then we finally started talking on the phone. I fell heads over heels. We were so comfortable with each other, until the point where we would talk about serious topics. Like us starting a family together. One year past bye and we kept talking . Each day I was more and more into him. He lives all the way on the other side of the u.s. but we always promised we would be together when we saw each-other. Months past bye and we ended up losing contact with each other for 5 months. I got a new bf and I never knew what happened to bf/bd. But I would always think about him, like how he was doing. Well my new bf and I didn't work out, we hated each other after our relationship, he would call me names like fat and blah, blah , blah. So I found myself lonely, and depressed. Weeks later I got a text from bf/bd saying he missed me. I was so happy, because I thought he forgot about me. We went on talking that whole morning. It was like we never stopped talking.later that afternoon he texted me saying he had to tell me something. I held my breath and said "shoot" and then thats when he told me he just had a baby. Omgosh you guys, I was soo crushed. I couldn't believe this was happening. He was the man I shared dreams with and now hes sharing them with someone else. I was furious. He told me him and her are just friends and they knew each other for a while and they were having sexual intercourse before me which I didn't believe. He told me he still wanted to be with me, and I wanted to be with him too and I didn't want to judge him, because my brother has a baby and I wouldn't want anyone judging him. So we continued talking. He told me he still wanted a family with me and I believed him. We became inseparable again. Then the next year I decided to vist him for the first time ever! I was nervous, excited and scared. We plan this whole thing how I was going to meet his family and friends and I was really happy. Well , I stayed in his home town for 6 days and didnt see him. The last day he told me he was sorry, but I didn't wanna hear it. I went home heartbroken. The next day was his birthday and I texted him happy birthday and he his response was sorry baby. And just like that I forgave him. He told me he couldn't see me because SS3 got sick. So I was like ok. We kept talking and we told each other how much we wanted each other. The next year was here so fast , its been 3 years. Which marks this year. This year has to be the worse year for us. Now all of sudden he told me he slept with his bm last year and the beginning of this year with no protection, and I was like wtf she can get pregnant again , but he said nothing. So I decided to do me , and go on dates. I ended up sleeping with an old friend who ejaculated in me that night. I took a test 3 weeks later I was pregnant. I was so upset. I told bf/bd and he screamed at me and told me I was dumb and irresponsible. I told to fuck off because he has done worst. Then later he told me if I did have the baby, he would be supportive. My heart melted. Weeks down the line I found out I wasn't pregnant I actually took an expired pregnancy test. Bf/bd was happy . In april he decided to come see me in my homeland and then he quickly change his mind because what happend with me and the other guy. I told him that wasn't fair, we fought everyday since april. We finally made a plan that neither of us were going to sleep with anyone else , or go on dates or whatever if we wanted to be together. I liked it. We planned on me coming to see him again this year, I don't mind because I love his hometown , but recently we've been getting into agruements again about ss and bm. Im sorry but im tired about hearing about them. I always wish we would've been responsible 3 years ago. And he hangs out with bm a lot, even without their son. He tells me he wants to be with me,he tells me im beautiful, and im his baby girl which makes me feel so good inside he tells me he wants to make a family, he even talked about marriage. But idk, I love him soo much. And I know if we ever met id love him more. But whenever we don't talk about ss he thinks im selfish. So we fight more now. Idk what to do, should I meet him and see how it goes or should I just leave? Please help.