Well, last weekend my BD had her birthday. It was a small gathering of just family - me, dh, skids and my mom and sdad.. nothing huge as she was having a bday slumber party with her buddies the following weekend.

As usual.. ss12 tried to pull some bullshit and DH sent him to his room. We had decided well before the party that ss12 wasn't going to shit on her birthday again this year.

Anyways.. my mom, who works for the county and knows my rough history with ss12, but has not witnessed his crap first hand was like "WTF?" and called me a couple days later to talk about it.

Now my mom and I have a pretty hit or miss relationship - mostly because she doesn't know how to "mom" and has always put the man in her life ahead of her kids.. I'm used to it now and grown to not expect anything from her and I only ask that she "try" to be a grandma since that takes less time and effort..

So when she called to talk to me about ss12, I was a little like "who is this?".. she went on to tell me that she spoke to one of the psychologists about the little episode and filled him in on a few other situations I have told her about and he was like "that kid needs help" and was concerned he might do something dangerous.. or get hurt by someone else if he acts like that around the wrong people.. The psychologist also offered to talk to DH and I to get a better feel for what is going on so he can point us to the right resources.. (we don't live in the same county as she works).

I have those same concerns - ss12 has irritated enough kids and gotten bullied due to his mouth plenty of times..

The problem is this - since my mom and I don't have the greatest relationship and DH knows this (and he isn't that fond of her either) I am hesitant to tell him my mom went "rogue" on us and spoke to someone about ss12.. DH might get offended at my mom giving her "opinion" of ss12 since he isn't her biggest fan. DH also isn't to the stage where he is willing to accept 100% that there is a bona fide mental issue with ss12... he is almost there, but there is just that small hesitation to admit his kid is slightly "off kilter" and "mental"... I think it's pride and not wanting to think his kid has a problem..

I really want to take this offer of guidance and help.. we need it. I don't know how to approach DH about it without having him get an attitude about the source of the help.. ugh. Part of me thinks I should just talk to the psychologist on my own, get the help lined up and just present it to DH as such... but then I feel bad for not telling him the whole story and if he finds out I wasn't transparent it could all blow up in my face..

Ugggghhhhh... what a mess.