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Was I rude?

porcelian-doll's picture

Submitted by porcelian-doll on Thu, 09/26/2013 - 8:27am

SD14 had a friend over and she keep staring at me and making me uncomfortable. Like an unblinking stare. I left the room and came back and she just stared at me. I felt like an animal in the zoo or a statue in a museum. I get it I look different than most people but at 14 or 15 however old she is you would think her parents would have taught her it’s not nice to stare. She got in my face and I tried to be nice about it “Is there something on my face"? “No I just wanted to see if you had eyelashes".

I just got up and left. I went in the kitchen to make a snack and she followed me “I’m not trying to bother you but I’ve never seen anyone like you". I told her its ok but it’s not nice to stare. When I walk away I hear her say “Does she always have that lazy eye? Are her eyes glass? She looks so weird". I walked back in to tell her that it’s rude to stare at people and it’s rude to talk about people. SD acted like I slapped her friend in the face and whisked her off to her room. Was I rude? I don't like to be stared at or talked about. It’s annoying and uncomfortable and I dealt with it enough in high school. Sometimes when I go out people stare but not like that.

Comments

StepMomTaxi's picture

Submitted by StepMomTaxi on Thu, 09/26/2013 - 8:49am

Honestly, while she was rude by doing that, I kind of give her a little bit of credit for being somewhat honest and opening up about it by telling you when you asked her why she was staring and she said "I've never seen anyone like you".

Should she have behaved like that? No. Is she old enough to know better? Yes, but some teenagers are not very mature for their age and tactful about how they behave when they see someone "different".

Finally...were you rude? No, not at all.

Elizabeth's picture

Submitted by Elizabeth on Thu, 09/26/2013 - 9:08am

Total sympathy. I have a friend who is albino, and although kids are curious, this one at age 14 is old enough to not be rude about it. My two BDs act like my friend who is albino is no different than anybody else, and if they have questions they keep their mouths shut until we are alone and I answer them (as best I can).

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Thu, 09/26/2013 - 9:31am

I hear her say “Does she always have that lazy eye? Are her eyes glass? She looks so weird". I walked back in to tell her that it’s rude to stare at people and it’s rude to talk about people. SD acted like I slapped her friend in the face
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I think you were way to nice about it. You should have told her that you do not host people "like her" in your house and to get out.

PeanutandSons's picture

Submitted by PeanutandSons on Thu, 09/26/2013 - 9:40am

The staring and questions I can understand..... Shes a kid and if no one hzs taught her bettdr then she doesnt really ”get” nlw rude shes being.

The getting up jn your face and talking about you and saying yhat you look wierd is inexcusable. Straight up unacceptable. Even my 4 year old has more tact than that.

But no, you weren't rude. Not at all. Id have told her to call her mother....had word with her mom and send her home

mombydefault's picture

Submitted by mombydefault on Thu, 09/26/2013 - 10:17am

I think you handled it perfectly. If the kid is not being taught manners at home, maybe that fact that you told her that she's being rude will make her think twice before acting like that to someone else. Maybe you'll end up being the adult in her life that teaches her manners. I would be more upset with the SD for getting angry at you over standing up for yourself. I would tell SD that her friends are welcome to come over, but that they will be expected to have manners in your home.

Starla's picture

Submitted by Starla on Thu, 09/26/2013 - 3:12pm

I think your SD is doing this on purpose for its a game to her and she is playing stupid about it to throw you off. I'd be willing to bet she put her friend up to it too. Were you rude, absolutely not!!! She needs a dose of her own medicine though IMO.

Drac0's picture

Submitted by Drac0 on Thu, 09/26/2013 - 3:52pm

You're a better person than me pocelian doll. Anyone who makes me feel uncomfortable in my own home would quickly be shown the door. You were most definetly not rude.

isthisforme123's picture

Submitted by isthisforme123 on Thu, 09/26/2013 - 3:58pm

You were not rude at all. How are kids supposed to learn how to behave if adults never correct them? Clearly she isn't being taught manners at home.