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I'm done!!

notmyfirstrodeo's picture

Submitted by notmyfirstrodeo on Thu, 09/19/2013 - 9:54pm

Today in court BM and her attorney kept referring to my sons BS14 and BS12 as those "teenage boys". I couldn't figure out what the point was. Yes, they are boys and yes, they are teenagers. Then the picture came all together, the nausea set in and the want to run from the courtroom hit. BM decided to allow SD9 to testify. Btw, we were only there for a change in visitation. Not to fight for custody. Anyway, SD9 testified that BS14 and BS12 are constantly in her room and she doesn't like it. This was a total lie. Or should I say - a fabricated statement provided by BM and her attorney. My boys have absolutely no interest in hanging out with their 9 yo stepsister and the only time they go in her room is when she begs them to play xbox with her. And the doors are always open. So the picture they painted led the judge to order us to keep those "teenage boys" out of SD9's room because their presence was "inappropriate". He also stated that he was even more bothered because they were not biological siblings. What the hell? So the mother bear in me has put her foot down. I will not allow anyone to falsely accuse my children of such heinous acts. Today it was insinuated. That's where the buck stops. New house rules. The boys won't be allowed in her room and she won't be allowed in theirs. Unfortunately, SD9 gets the raw deal in this because now she will have no one to play with. I'm hoping she realizes their are consequences for lying. You can lie about me and DH. We are adults and can take it. But come after my innocent children who didn't ask to even be involved and its time for me to disengage. DH says SD9 lies for BM for self-preservation. Well I have the right to disengage for the same reasons. I'm done.

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notmyfirstrodeo's picture

Submitted by notmyfirstrodeo on Thu, 09/19/2013 - 10:06pm

I absolutely agree. I am so torn because I am angry with SD9 for putting me and my kids in this position but I do love her so very much. I just know, especially after today, that the claws BM has in her are dug in too deep.

notmyfirstrodeo's picture

Submitted by notmyfirstrodeo on Fri, 09/20/2013 - 5:45am

I wish I could say that the family court system is, at the very least, fair. After 2 rounds in court, I've found it not only to be unfair, but capable if destroying a family.

MamaDuck's picture

Submitted by MamaDuck on Fri, 09/20/2013 - 12:05am

The crazy BM I deal with did this exact thing with my boys too!!!

They were at a change order when she brought up her 'concerns' about my boys (at the time, EIGHT and SIX), she said that she doesn't feel comfortable with unknown boys around her DD3 because "who knows what those boys will do to my little girl!"

SO said he tried to get her to say EXACTLY what she was implying, but she just replied "I'm not actually accusing them of anything! I'm just a concerned mother" (she always says that in court apparently)

The child's lawyer just asked SO if SD has her own bed, he said yes, lawyer told BM he see's no issues with it and moved the conversation on.

I felt the same way you are feeling, it was AWFUL to hear what she was accusing my boys of! They've done nothing to deserve being spoken of like that! In a way I'm glad the lawyers brushed it off, but I felt that she wasn't told off for making heinous FALSE accusations, what will stop her from doing it again later?! And will the court brush it off when my boys are teens??? Probably not right!

So i sent her a very friendly text asking her if she'd like to meet my boys so she can get to know them or I could have their teachers write up something about the boys. She replied "F*** off, you're making everything worse!" Then slapped me with a trespass notice (not that I had ever been to her house!)

So I sent her one last text telling her that I'm a victim of sexual abuse and take it extremely seriously, and also, I will ALWAYS stick up for my children!

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Fri, 09/20/2013 - 8:28am

You are better than I am. That would be the end of the child in a house where I live. My kids and I would move or DH and SD would.

I hope that you NEVER leave those kids alone for one minute. The seed is already planted in BM's mind of how to HANDLE you and your house. I would hate to see your kids lives ruined due to false allegations.

PokaDotty's picture

Submitted by PokaDotty on Fri, 09/20/2013 - 8:57am

I would only allow her to come over when the boys are out of the house. I would make a point of telling BM, nope SD can't come over, the boys will be here and we have to protect THEM from SD and BM lies.

JMC's picture

Submitted by JMC on Fri, 09/20/2013 - 9:41am

I would be furious, too. Now you've seen how dirty BM is planning on playing, you've got to protect your boys. In this day and age, just the insinuation of inappropriate behavior is enough to screw up their lives. BM sounds like a very malicious nutcase who will go to extremes to cause problems. No matter how much you love and care about SD9 and the fact that she obviously was coached by BM, it's up to you to make sure your boys are protected at all costs. The judge in this case must be a little senile to believe everything BM says without giving anyone a chance to defend the boys or even respond to the allegations.

As some of the above posters mentioned, I make sure your boys are never alone with SD9 and make her aware of the repercussions of breaking the rules of no entering the boys rooms. Sounds drastic, but I wouldn't trust BM or SD9 as far as I could pitch them.

notmyfirstrodeo's picture

Submitted by notmyfirstrodeo on Fri, 09/20/2013 - 5:02pm

I absolutely agree with all of you. For now I am going to try to make sure the boys go see their dad when she is with us. That will not always work so I'll have to come up with some very good back up plan. Now, how to make a marriage survive this is the question.