My brother is dealing with the BM from hell
I swear to the flying spaghetti monster that I'd knock the socks off that twunt if I lived on that side of the country.
My brother has been dealing with hell from his STBexW for over three fucking years - she WILL NOT sign the divorce papers and is PASing the shit out of my niece and nephew. In their state, divorces can drag on for a decade if one party wants to be a twunt.
I really don't understand WTF her problem is. The entire time they were together, she acted like she HATED him and had no problem doing it in front of his family. The guy worked 12+ hour shifts as a cop in a very dangerous area, then did the laundry, grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning because she was too lazy to get off of her no job having ass to take care of the kids. As the kids got older and money was tight, she refused to work more than a couple of hours a week. And yet my brother - I know he's not perfect but better than a lot of guys - treated her like a fucking queen. I watched her flip out because the jewelry he worked overtime to buy her one Christmas wasn't good enough. The next Christmas he again worked a ton of overtime to surprise her with a vacation to Aruba and again, it wasn't good enough.
Well guess what bitch? When you take and take, and tell someone that they're not good enough and worthless, and you do it for long enough, you get left. Accept it, sign the goddamned papers and MOVE ON.
But she can't, and won't. She wants to see him suffer because he dared to move on himself. He has a girlfriend now, and the GF just bought a house for them near the kids (sold her own awesome beach home to do it). Spare me the lecture on how he's technically a cheater - he would have been divorced long before the GF came into the picture if that twunt would have just signed. She just fucked him over again and now their next court date is ANOTHER 6 MONTHS AWAY.
He's willing to live in poverty for the next six years to make sure his kids are provided for, and to pay twunt alimony. He's willing to walk away from the equity in the house, and part with half of his nice retirement fund. And even with enough CS and alimony to pay ALL of the household bills (and have a chunk in the bank from the retirement fund) it's not enough. She's wondering how she's going to make it financially. To me it's pretty simple - GET A FUCKING FULL TIME JOB YOU SPOILED LAZY TWUNT. The kids are 15 and 13 - they'll be ok without you there after school.
I hate that my brother is going through this because I've seen him morph from a happy go lucky guy to a brooding, depressed mess. His GF has been wonderful, but how long is she going to put up with this, with being the target of a psycho and feeling like she's the reason his relationship with the kids is suffering?
Some people just suck. In case you couldn't tell, twunt is my new favorite word. A twat who is also a cunt - fitting for so many of these BMs.
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Comments
Your brother needs to up his
Your brother needs to up his game. Modify his filing.
Start demanding full custody of the kids due to Parental Alienation.
No spousal support: he already supported her fully during the marriage time for her to work
None of his retirement, noting she did not earn it as he not only worked full time out of the house, but also in the house as she refused to clean, cook, take care of the kids etc.
He wants his 50% equity in the home, she must buy him out within 45 days of the divorce decree being signed or he can have her evicted and sell the house.
Right now she has no motivation to sign. He is handing her everything on a silver platter so why not demand more?
Dump the silver platter, offer her the alternative of only leaving with the clothes on her back and see if she is then willing to negotiate so she does not lose it all.
as a ps: I would only give
as a ps: I would only give her half of the retirement for a number of years equal to HALF the duration of their marriage.
First law of negotiations:
First law of negotiations: You can ASK for anything. Does not mean your going to get it, but a filing such as I suggested would give the soon to be XW time to pause and panic that perhaps she wont get everything she wants... and to ensure she gets something it would behoove her to play ball.
You're totally right - he
You're totally right - he needs to play hardball, or find a new lawyer who will. His problem is that my niece and nephew are in the middle and fall victim to her headgames, and he doesn't want to make life more difficult for them. He needs to see that the best thing he can do for them is whatever it takes to get this over and done with so they can move on.
I can understand wanting to
I can understand wanting to move on for the kids sake BUT
He has more than the kids to look out for.
ALimony and retirement is going to keep BM in his life far longer than the kids turning 18. Plus he is handing over all the equity in the house (that he likely paid for) etc etc. He is leaving himself and his current kids, any future kids or any future wife in a bad position financially to be beholden to a greedy bitch for eternity.
Trade her, she can have all the equity in the house... he gets his retirement. But he really needs to get nasty with her... if he cant bring himself to do it.. sic the new woman on her/ her attorney
Except legally pension is
Except legally pension is considered as much of a martial asset as a house. Pension funds and home are the two biggest assets a marriage usually consist of. If this woman doesn't want to sign for a divorce now, she's not going to bargain away her legal rights to his pension. Pension laws can be time consuming and honestly, she's be a fool to give them up. If the guy got ran over by a bus next month, guess who'd get the survivor pension.
I so agree with this. Tell
I so agree with this. Tell him to ask for way more than he is willing to settle for.
Agreed. Especially in cases
Agreed. Especially in cases like this, where the twunt has had almost four fucking years to prepare herself to be independent.
When I got divorced my lawyer told me to go after alimony because my exH makes 3-4x what I do. I said hell to the naw! I didn't want a handout from that motherfucker - I'm more than capable of supporting myself and just wanted to be done with him. She was surprised to say the least.
Let her drag it out. Who
Let her drag it out. Who cares. the longer it goes the older the kids are. Another 5 years & no child support to deal with anymore anyways.
true but he's paying all the
true but he's paying all the household bills and attorney's fees as it is now, and the longer they're married the more of his pension she'll eventually get. They need a CO so she can't withhold the kids as well.
I'm pretty sure his GF - who is pretty awesome, IMHO - wants to have a baby and get married (her bio clock is ticking away). He is a FANTASTIC dad, and he always wanted more kids but twunt never lifted a finger, so there went that idea.
they can get a temp order esp
they can get a temp order esp for custody of the kids. has he asked his attny about this? it is weird that they don't already have a separation agreement/order.
I honestly have no idea why
I honestly have no idea why that hasn't been done, except that there is a ridiculous backlog in family court in their state. I'd assume that has something to do with it but who knows.
He has both a pension and a
He has both a pension and a retirement fund. From what I understand, she is legally entitled to a portion of each determined by how long they were married. However, he was also offering her a six figure cash settlement over and above what was legally required just to be done. Bit him in the ass big time.