DH has been relentless about every single thing he perceives that DD14 does wrong

He teases her about stuff like her sneakers smell, he still calls her by a nickname he morphed from her last name (despite her asking him and then TELLING him repeatedly that she doesn’t want to be called by that name)
“all my kids have nicknames”
Well, too bad this one doesn’t like it
Her room… if she leaves clothes on her chair he freaks about it and makes up this phantom “smell” that he claims wafts downstairs (I smell nothing and I have a more keen sense of smell than he does)
his son by the way still has a MOUNTAIN of clothes dirty and clean sitting in a corner of the loft... could the smell be frm that maybe??
Her grades… her last marking period she went down from a A to a B in two subjects… overall with her finals she still wound up with a final grade of an A in both subjects. She’s a good student, he accused her of slacking off at the end of the year because of spending too much time on her phone and social media
She made honor roll every marking period
The list goes on
Every time I defend her I’m wrong for doing so. I’m a permissive parent, I’m trying to be her ‘friend’ and not her ‘parent’
Last night, she got home a little late from going to watch her friends’ Karate tournament
By the time she got in the shower to get ready for bed it was 10:30 EXACTLY when DH decided that he wanted to go to bed.
DD plays music in the bathroom while she’s in the shower
As we were going thru the bathroom to go to bed (we have a strange set up, upstairs) he said to her “Nickname” turn the music OFF… we’re going to bed
She was IN the shower… her phone was outside the shower… (Obviously) we were standing right there
She said OK and he stood there
I SAID TURN THE MUSIC OFF
She says I WILL WHEN YOU LEAVE
And he gets this enraged face… YOU ALLOW HER TO TALK TO ME LIKE THAT?
I try to intervene and explain about her being naked in the shower and not wanting to get out while we’re there and he gets on me again about always defending her NO MATTER WHAT
Then he calls my DD a F*ckng B*tch and I LOST IT
We fought… I went downstairs crying
His son comes home with the new girl du jour. I said (quietly) I would really appreciate it if you could go somewhere else or just not have her over. I would like to be left alone… we’re kind of going through something right now
MISTER F*KING CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE then starts fighting with me
The chippie says “it’s okay, I’ll go” and leaves and then HE STARTS GETTING ON ME… I said “you don’t want to confront me right now, Trust me”
‘why, what are you going to do, try to kick me out? You have a couple glasses of wine and get all weepy and then try to take it out on me and then your gonna try to kick me out?”
As a matter of fact, if you don’t stop this, I think you should just go
“my father would probably feel differently”
I told him the house is as much mine as it is his fathers and because you’re making me feel threatened you need to go NOW
He went upstairs and I don’t know what he said to his father and honestly I don’t care
He came back downstairs and argued with me more something about spending money on getting a hotel room
I said Well, I’m sure you have plenty of money to spend, since you spent all those years not paying rent
Oh and if you gave one small ounce of a sh*t and helped out around here I may feel differently, but you don’t get to not pay rent AND not do anything
I also called him out on getting effed up before his sisters wedding ceremony and he used the same line his mother used to use when she denied things that were true to his father “you’re delusional…”

Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, I informed him of this (bad form on my part but I was beyond reasonable thought at the time)
He said to me Why don’t you just leave? You and my Dad should just get divorced
I said “why, so that you can continue to leach off him without interference from me? You’re right, that’s a good idea
He left, I locked the door and the top lock, he doesn’t have a key to the top lock
I locked the garage door, and the deadbolt on the back door

I then get a text from DH (upstairs in the bedroom) how dare you throw “son” out of the house unannounced? He got home from work, took care of his child and waited around for YOUR Kid to take her swimming
I heard what you said to him without provocation by him, you’re shameful
I Texted you heard what he told you,

Done

I sent the a*hole son a text, the house is locked down, you’re not coming back in while I am here.
I wrote him a long letter.
I told him how very over it is and I outlined exactly why
I put my wedding band and engagement ring in an envelope with the letter and wrote on it “I mean every word I’ve said”
He e-mailed me today that he’s selling the house
He left me a voice mail about being ‘financially rewarded’ for the years I spent with him
WHATEVER I didn’t marry him for financial rewards I’m not looking for financial rewards
If he wants to sell the house he can
It was his before I met him
His and his ex-wife’s
I did what I could to make it “our” house for “our” family but none of that seemed to work out very well
A coat of paint, new furniture, rugs… still wasn’t really “our” house
That asshat son of his will always feel the entitlement of it being “his” house that’s for damn sure
I’m rambling… just felt good to get it out
I haven’t discussed any of this with anyone in my family or any of my ‘Real life’ friends yet. Don’t know when that’s gonna happen.