The kid smells
Last night I walked into a room and caught a waft or something rancid. I figured it was one of the skids who still had not showered. This morning I went to get coffee and got another powerful hit of the same smell. I can smell him from a couple feet away. Hm. This means he put on clothing that is so dirty it’s got a smell.
I told DH. Why? Because the kid can be smelled from a distance and I’m a kind enough person that I don’t want the kid embarrassed by having a peer point it out at school.
DH sighs hugely and gives me a nasty look. Turns out he’s not upset with me but doesn’t like having these kinds of talks. First, you’re a parent that’s your job. Second, you are a dude and it would probably be easier to take comments about smell from another dude. Third, wouldn’t it be better to be told privately at home by a parent than publicly at school by a peer?
I know, some of you wouldn’t say a word. I don’t until it’s really bad and if I cannot stay in a room long enough to pour a cup of coffee, it’s time to say something. And DH apparently yelled at OSS about showering more. I hadn’t mentioned showering, I said he smelled and must be wearing dirty clothes. So he still went to school stinky. Whatever.
Neither BM nor DH rode his butt when younger to make hygiene a habit and now they are gonna do another “talk” the results of which last about a week (flash in the pan effort from all of them) and then back to no effort by anyone until another bad enough incident.
- ITB2012's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
And today
in school kids don't DARE "bully" a kid about his smell like in the old days
Kids don't care that much
Kids don't care that much until puberty kicks in. If DH won't do it, feel free to drop some comments about the funk in the air. When DH gets after you then you can say to him, either you take care of it or I will let him know he stinks. One way or another, the skid gets put on notice that he needs a bath WITH soap!
Dh really should be afraid to piss you off over a kid.
The kid is two months from being 18
He's almost past puberty.
OH, I get this one!
OH, I get this one!
I told DH over and over again around the time OSD was 10 that she was starting to smell. He ignored me until the one day he was in the car with her alone and had to roll down the windows she stank so bad - this was not a warm day either. He warned me as they approached (to give a clear berth as they entered the house) that she was FURIOUS with him and she was screaming and crying because she did NOT want to take a shower. She did.
She constantly fought being told to shower or clean herself. If I took her anywhere (rare) she was required to shower - and if she did end up with BO I specifically told her...in the car and she was sitting in the passenger seat I caught a whiff if she move, "Hey, SD, you have BO." SD, "What's BO?" SERIOUSLY at age 13!
DH went through a similar scenario when he discovered she was lying to him about brushing her teeth...and he started smelling her breath when she was not even close. In spite of me telling him off and on for years before (I think she was around 12 or 13 then).
Then there was the issue with her never doing her laundry - unless DH did it for her and never changing her sheets. This includes PJs she wore every single night and most weekends (because she never left her room). And you don't want me describing her underwear and socks (discovered in room cleaning 'sweeps' when the stench leaked into the hallway).
Needless to say I made sure I never sat next to her and I never could say anything to DH because he had to figure it out.
I mean, there was the last time I had to leave the kitchen because her smell literally made me almost gag as she walked by.
Tonight I get told
by DH that he didn't smell OSS in the morning when he went to talk with him. I replied that that was very possible, all of them walked past our bedroom after a dog had taken a dump on our bed (yes, yuck, and no one but me notices when a dog is signalling to go out but I was late getting home so poor dog). I could smell it going up the stairs.
I don't have a super-sniffer. I have a regular smeller. And it smelled OSS last night and this morning. I think DH is in smell-nial.
He also said that it was just five minutes before they had to leave for school, what did I want him to do? And it would have been embarassing to call him out in front of the other two.
First, five minutes is plenty of time to change clothes. Second, I never mentioned calling him out in front of people. But I did tell DH I was sorry (sarcastically) that next time I would make sure to allow plenty of time, take OSS to a separate room to wait to be talked to, and then still not mention anything until the clothes walk off the kid's body by themselves. Oh and there was some stuff about OSS not having any other clothes (I call BS). Oh and in the morning he said he and BM were having a talk with OSS tonight but tonight before he left to go there (had to drop off something for a skid), the story is that he never said that. ?!?
Tonight we talked before he went. DH started getting uppity and I said we are having a conversation and partial argument, we do not have to agree, but that doesn't mean that he has to be crappy to me while we talk about it. I asked DH what his bottom line is. He looked at me like he had no idea what I meant. I said: what is the minimum amount that OSS should be doing? DH told me. I told him then you have to make it less work to do those things that to slack off. That DH probably needs to be up the kid's butt every night, several times a night, and every morning, so it gets to the point he's doing it so he doesn't get the lecture/nagging.
We shall see. We of course wandered into "but DS isn't..." territory, which I quickly cut off. (Tonight's was but DS doesn't have a job, neither does YSS...so that means they have time to shower?...but they are in sports and other activities...but DH was in sprots and had a job as a kid...fine, not all kids do everything...and I reminded DH that OSS got a job specifically so he did not have to do sports--I overheard him telling the other two.)
OH, the old "I don't have
OH, the old "I don't have timmmmmme" excuse made by OSD when she was 10! 10! This was her major reason, it was a waste of time to shower, clean, do laundry, brush teeth. And DH accepted that excuse.
So I just walked away from it as they came up. Just try to choose ONE thing you will no longer bring up any longer. Once that is easy, add another one and so on.
If he smells, leave the room no matter what you are doing, but don't say anything. I only told OSD she smelled if I was alone with her (back when we were getting along). I have told YSD the same thing while DH was with us and it never, ever happened again. So be careful with how to broach it if you have to do so. If you have to think twice, say nothing.
He got upset with you because
He got upset with you because he can't tell precious snowflake his stink is not the flavor of the month?
I would tell DH "Let me put it this way to you, had I met you and you smelled as bad as SS does, you would still be single."
Excellent
I laughed out loud at that one. Thanks. Gonna keep that in my hip pocket for the next round.
I am sorry, this is just
I am sorry, this is just beyond me.
Kids who stink...
Gross.
Lack of personal hygiene is completely repulsive to me and the thought of wearing dirty clothes is vomit inducing.
Sorry that there is no help from me on this but OMG it is digusting beyond words.
Oft. Yeah, formerSS13 NEVER
Oft. Yeah, formerSS13 NEVER bushed his teeth. And he tried to be a close talker. My Lord the stench. And if I said anything I was a terrible person. He can't help it. He doesn't like the flavor of the toothpaste. His teeth are sensitive and needs special toothpaste (but has never said anything about sensitivity?). He forgot. Why am I making him feel bad?
He did take baths...but he went number 2 right before and never used toilet paper. So he would flounder around in poop water for 20-30 minutes watching youtube videos. No soap. But sprayed an INSANE amount of Axe body spray after floating in the poop water... so that's mostly clean, right?
*shivers*
Yuck.
My oldest is 23. He NEVER not showered or bushed his teeth - I guess he skipped that phase?Because he was taught to not act like a barn animal wallowing in his own excrement. My youngest is 2 1/2. He brushes his teeth when he wakes up, after lunch and before bed. Without being asked. He just knows it's time to do that because of repetition.
Amazing the things kids can learn when taught instead of excuses made for being rancid.
[Laughing] EW!
If the kids took baths this would happen. As it is, there is one time I caught this same skid standing in the bathroom watching videos while running the fan so DH would think he took a shower. How did I do this? I was in a nearby room and did not hear water running so I peeked under the bathroom door since it had been so long, worried that something had happened to the kid.
I'm trying so hard not to
I'm trying so hard not to crack up in bed and wake DH. Rofl!!! Poo water baths!
DH has always complained of
DH has always complained of SS smelling bad. I never could smell him, but I have a pretty broken sniffer due to allergies.
Even now, at 19, DH thinks he smells bad. When he was younger, he used to order him into the shower, now, he doesn't say anything.
I don't get it - once I was about 14, regular bathing became essential.
I have a question for those
I have a question for those of you with these older kids/skids who are allergic to soap and water. Were they always like that, or is this something that develops when they get older? The skids here are young, and they're happy to take baths or showers every day or at a minimum every other day. Is that something that changes when they hit puberty? I was a teen who showered a minimum of once a day, so the idea of not wanting to shower is foreign to me.
In my case the SDs were never
In my case the SDs were never taught how to bathe, nor was it a regular part of their routine at either DH's or BM's. I was completely dumbfounded when I realized at ages 7 & 9 that they didn't know how to use a shower, use a washcloth, wash their face, brush their teeth, use soap as anything but a toy in the tub, and had zero clue how to get shampoo out of a shampoo bottle. I mean, speechless.
OSD never changed, YSD now takes care of herself pretty well with only few and far between reminders.
CTBB would smell a lot
as a kid. He was quite overweight then. If I mentioned it ot DH, he'd get ticked at ME. I never understood that, do you want the kid to be ostrasized? Then DH would say "I don't smell anything". OOOOKKKAAAYYY but I do! Anyway, this all came to a screeching halt when SS got in the car one night with us, and smelled sio strongly of shit, he either hadn't wiped or crapped his pants. Like, the odor was so strong we were both gagging. DH sent him back in to clean himself, as I made a mental note to bleach the entire interior of the car. After that, if I told DH he stunk, he'd send him to the shower.
Yep, that happened to my DH
Yep, that happened to my DH too -glad I did not experience it.