No...Never. This was a very important issue to me. The kids would know if we were annoyed with each other, but we never had an argument where any of them could hear.

HA! Last night my AHH (a$$hole husband) TOLD ss to stand there as I was trying to talk to him which escalated into a giant fight. SS loves to make us fight, he will find a way and sit there smiling every time it happens. Sick little bastard...

Then his father starts screaming and cussing at me with the little shit smiling and chiming in, then yes. That is how it happens. When I walk away they both follow, so yep. That is my life.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Holy shit! This would NEVER happen in my world, but if for some reason my DH lost his ever loving mind and did this....it would be the one and only time and NEVER again. Because I would NEVER be subject to a man like that twice.

Nope. My kids NEVER heard me fight with their Dad. And I would never fight with SO in front of SKs. We did get into it huge once right before sks showed up and we smiled through and faked it for a few hours and continued when they left. But no way - kids of divorce feel enough instability. I'm not adding to that in any way.

i know sd has heard us arguing, because she always made a point of listening thru registers, hiding behind doors, pressing her ear to the wall, etc. she did this crap in front of bd, who told me about it. i know she's telling the truth because i've caught sd doing it more than once!

I'm taking a different approach to this. My fdh and I argue :we do not fight. We do it fairly and sometimes yes we do it in front of the kids. When we went thru premarital counseling we learned that fdh was not addressing issues bc hw was scared of confrontation. He had never seen his parents argue and thought it was bad for relationship s.kids need to understand that it's normal to argue and they need to know how to do it respectfully. Otherwise it will cause issues in future relationship s. Sorry for typos from my phone.

SD21 heard us fight, not sure about SD16- what I DO know is that FDH told SD16 last week that her and I need to air out our issues bc FDH and I are fighting about it :jawdrop:

I'm pissed, WHY would he say that to her and WHY doesn't he realize thats what she wants. It's none of her f'n business

In the past there were times I'd try to talk to DH PRIVATELY about something. Calmly, quietly.... and then he'd lose it and start *yelling* all kinds of shit so that God and Everyone could hear. And sometimes over things that didn't require yelling OR arguing. But apparently that is one of the ugly pieces of luggage he brought forward from his previous relationship if you know what I mean - because that's how "they" discussed things.

Of course, I didn't WANT everyone to hear, that's why it was quietly, behind closed doors, but for a long time that just wasn't his style.

I finally had enough and DID walk out the door so he'd STFU. He now knows the minute he starts getting loud (and sometimes irrational especially if it's about the Two Princes)I walk away.

ETA: I told him as I was walking out the door to stop him from yelling, "Please, please, please quit being such a drama whore." He didn't quite know what to say.

Sadly, DH and I do not have very great self control and we have lost it - arguing, screaming at one another - when skids were around. And so BM knows about it as well, because the skids would run and tell her stuff she likes to hear. They've also seen us make-up too though, so I'm not sure if that counters it a bit.

It always pisses me off that I can't fight and make up with DH - like in a normal, nuclear family without the invasion of privacy.

I'm really trying to be better at holding back until skids aren't around, because it's usually me being pissed at something he did or did not do, but boy is that TOUGH.

And always via message to hubby at work except for rare occasions we discuss at home. I feel we voice things better in text as we are just straight to the point with harsh truth. If we talked in person it’s confrontational and hubby always on the defense. When i message hubby its to put things in perspective and he will always right after drill the shit out of his son who will of course non stop have an excuse for everything

Any issues with ss at home, hubby often gets a message what said issue is and deal with it immediately as this is his screw up and a product of his parenting choices, not mine. Hubby does at times get upset but he knows there are issues that must be addressed and i am the only one capable to guide him. Of course ss knows i have been telling his dad off and he runs quickly out of his room to fix whatever mess he dumped there in kitchen for example