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How to nicely say "leave me alone"!

newbiestepmom25's picture

Its my day off and I can't get any me time or any peace. SS5 knocks on my door at 7am asking me to make him some cereal. I told him to wait a little bit. I look over and baby is standing up in his crib bouncing. I'm thinking (great no sleeping in for me). I start to change baby's diaper and SS5 comes back banging on the door and crying about how hungry he is. I try to tell him to be quiet DH worked all night and is trying to sleep. So I changed baby and made him cereal. He still won't leave me alone. I go to feed baby and he follows me I try to tell him to go play for a bit and he starts to cry. So I walk him to his room with baby on my hip and explain to him I will play later baby is hungry and daddy is sleeping. So I go and feed baby. Out of the corner of my eye I see SS5 peaking through the door staring at me. I told him to go play I'm sitting there with half my shirt up feeding baby. a few minutes later I hear SS5 and SS10 fighting I go out and tell them to quiet down. I go to make myself a grilled cheese and SS5 follows me crying he is hungry and wants one. He just ate cereal so I say no. He follows me around while I eat my grilled cheese with baby on my hip trying to play with baby.

I try go to take a shower and finally wash my greasy hair and SS5 is banging on the door asking for a snack. I just ignore him. I get out of the shower give him and SS10 some pretzels and peanut butter and give baby a bowl of cut up bananas on his bouncy seat so he can eat and play. I think I can finally relax so I bring baby in my room and let him bounce while I watch Wendy Williams. Who comes knocking on my door SS5 complaining he wants more snack. I told him it will be lunch time in about and hour so no. I give the boys and old rag with some rocks and tell them they can go outside and paint. I try to get some cleaning done and SS5 runs in tracking dirt begging me to take him to the park. I say mabey later and he throws a fit.

How do I just tell him to leave me alone for five minutes without sounding like I'm snapping on him. I can't wait for DH to wake up.

Comments

Starla's picture

"I'm hungry can I have a snack?" tell the kid "Yes you can after you eat lunch and have an hour nap!" Maybe that will get him to avoid you and actually make him take a late afternoon nap.

somedevilishbeauty's picture

Tell him if he listens to you and gives you some time to yourself to get somethings done you will take him to the park this afternoon, but if he doesnt he can stay home and be bored.

SMof2Girls's picture

This was my thought too .. if he's whining and following you around to get a snack, toy, whatever and you're giving it to him, then clearly what he's doing is working in his mind.

Send him to his room. If he whines for a snack, only give it to him if he's been listening. He's 5 .. he won't starve if he has to wait until the next meal time to get something to eat. He's also old enough to start entertaining himself.

If he wants to throw a temper tantrum and cry, let him wake DH up and let DH deal with him. You can't appease him just to keep him quiet so DH can rest .. he has to know there are consequences if he doesn't behave. Right now he's just learning to bug you to get what he wants, and that if he gets loud, you'll move even faster to fufill his requests.

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

I always had a rule that the kids could not come out of their rooms until a certain time in the morning. The exception of course was going to the bathroom. Tell your SS he cannot come out until 7:30 that way you can catch a breather before the day starts.

justshutup's picture

Wow, I feel for ya, spoiled ass worthless skids. Theres no legal solution lol. I have 3 skids and im borderline suicidal cuz I get no peace, after working to pay I clean their mess and feed the bastards. Lazy no good kids. I have no bio kids

PeanutandSons's picture

I ditto these suggesting of giving him some ground rules with independence.

My son is 4 and he's been getting his own snacks for a year now. He knows the ground rules.... One healthy snack between breakfast and lunch. One healthy snack and one "junk food" snack between lunch and dinner. One snack/ dessert after dinner....healthy if he had junk after lunch or junk if he chose two healthy snacks after lunch.

He simply asks....can I go get a snack. He is allowed to use plastic or butter knifes to cut up fruit, and he has a shelf in the pantry that is acceptable snacks to chose from. He is free to get himself drinks whenever he wants.

SMof2Girls's picture

We tried the lower shelf thing with our skids .. until one day we came into the kitchen to see SD7 (then 4) had spider-man-scaled the closet doorway and got to the top shelf where DH's cookies were kept LOL Biggrin

Now they have a basket on the kitchen counter Smile

realitycheckmom's picture

We have snacks on lower shelves in the pantry. Unfortunately I have one of those big containers for dog food and DD climbs on it and gets grown up snacks. She has grown too and can reach even higher now. Sad I am going to have to get a lockbox for my snacks.

chokinonlemons2u's picture

We have fruit on the counter,cheese sticks in fridge, but other snacks in locked pantry.

I have 5 young kids. There absolutely have been days when I have snapped "would you just leave me the hell alone?!"

Usually to the amazing ADHD boy who won't take, "give me ten minutes" as an answer

newbiestepmom25's picture

Lmao

Shaman29's picture

My apologies for being flippant when you have a real question. There are times when I want to rip my hair out the way we have to tiptoe around our skids. It seems as much as we want to treat them all the same, we end up treating the skids differently than the bios.

My advice? Granted it's not worth much since I don't have kids of my own, however I would simply deal with him the way you would if he were your own child. You may as well take advantage of his age and try molding him into being a parented child while you have him around you.

Sweet T's picture

My BS will be 6 this month and always wakes me up on the weekends between 6 & 7am. He is almost always hungry & needs a snack. He can go downstairs to the kitchen & get a cheese stick out of the fridge but nothing else is really at his level. I personally want to know that he is up so I know what is going on. We recently moved and he can watch TV in the living room outside our bedroom but I do not allow him to go downstairs. I am a light sleeper and need to know that he is safe. I hate to say it but it sounds like pretty typical little boy behavior. IMO, it is easier to deal with when it is your own child and not someone elses.

Jsmom's picture

I raised my son alone at this age and had a lot of tricks. One that really helped was a small TV in his room and I am sure I will get criticized for it, but he is now going off to the number two school in the country for Bio Medical Engineering and his tuition is paid in full, so criticize away.

Also, I had a bottom shelf in the pantry that he was allowed to eat whatever he wanted without asking. Same for his friends as he got older. Also, a drawer in the fridge that had the same thing. Small milks, juices and veggies and fruit ready to eat. Pantry had granola bars and some little Debbie's.

He also, knew he could not wake me up until 8:00 AM on the weekend. You have to explain to him....It worked great and this was rarely a problem. Also, lego's at that age kept him very busy and quiet for hours. Also, Thomas the tank trains, worked great as well. Suggest finding a knock off since they are very expensive.

myspoonistoobig's picture

This sounds like most mornings at my house, except that oldest kid is SS who is 5. Harder to be firm with my toddler and baby!

Firm is good, firm and calm even better. Kids respond to your frustration, so if you ignore them for a minute if you have to so you can breathe and then re-engage, it helps a lot. I'm not saying to hide it, because that takes work, but expressing it in an appropriate tone encourages the kids to respond in kind.

SS copies me and DH, DD copies SS, youngest DD copies oldest DD.

As cookie monster would say, "It win-win."