legally protecting yourself.
To what lengths have you gone to protect yourself (and your kids) legally and financially?
I just (this morning) had my DH sign a quitclaim, so that I now own our house. This means that if he dies, his older kids can't file a claim. If I die-- I can make sure the equity in the house is split between my children and does not go to DH or his older kids.
I don't trust the stepkids or their mother, don't approve of the life decisions they are making and refuse to expose my own kids to any more risk. There's also a healthy dose of-- "fine, you want to repeatedly, aggressively come after us? you can have your money now but I will make sure your kids are disinherited. You've made their father a pauper, so they get nothing."
Feeling a bit guilty right now though...
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Don't feel guilty. They made
Don't feel guilty. They made choices and they have to live with consequences. Things can always be changed if they do the right thing and make the changes in their lives so that you are willing to support. And if God forbid they are too late, than I am sorry to say that it is their own fault.
I am just feeling bad for DH.
I am just feeling bad for DH. But much of the down payment came from my family, I pay the mortgage, and we've been put through financial hell by the ex-wife for the past 3 years with her constant threats etc. At one point, I had to cash in some accounts my mom had set up for my boys to pay off DH's debt so he could keep paying her.
So I feel justified. That said, there is definitely vindictiveness in my heart, which is never good...
He signed over his interest
He signed over his interest in the house to me.
I own the house we live in
I own the house we live in (deed and mortgage in my name only)
I am NOT co-owner of DH's car and motorcycle loan
DH is NOT co-owner of MY car loan
We do not have joint anything, bank accounts, credit cards, etc.
No way no how am I "sharing my wealth" when it comes to his previously-enjoyed family, they'll suck the green right off a dollar bill (SK's AND BM).
I am gainfully employed and pull in about 70% of this household's income so ain't no way I'd put myself in a position where everything I've worked for can be lost due to his first family's sense of "squatters rights"
I am the same as you! I am in
I am the same as you! I am in the process of closing on our first home together. It is in MY name only. Same with the insurance too. I do not have anything "joint" with FDH either. And I refuse to as I know that BM is a gold digging whore, I will be damned if I let her or her brat get anything that belongs to me and my FDH!
My name is on FDH's checking account BUT the only money that goes into that account is his direct deposit pay check. He doesnt leave any money in any accounts so that way nothing can be seized from him if there should ever be an issue with BM.
I am also planning on getting wills done for both FDH and myself so that way my son gets EVERYTHING that I own or have in my possesion. FDH knows that my first responsibility is to my son. FDH makes decent money and he can take care of himself, BS is only 9 and I dont and wouldnt expect my parents to raise my son without financial support should something happen to me. I know for a fact FDH will leave everything to me because he most definitely does not want his greedy ex or kid getting anything that is his either.
Put your house in a revocable
Put your house in a revocable trust and specify this. The skids can't touch it because it will be an asset of the trust.
You really need advice from a
You really need advice from a good estate lawyer. State laws vary like crazy.
For me, I keep a separate
For me, I keep a separate bank account from DH. When we were paying CS on our own and not through the state, I didn't want her getting one cent of my money.
DH and I have discussed what will happen if we have kids. When he was NCP, I would have legally separated from him and filed for CS.
I made DH get a large life
I made DH get a large life Insurance for me only. I have a large Pre-nup that protects all of my assets. Our wills are not done, since without them I get more than with them done. DH would insist on leaving stuff to SD17 and I won't let him. The way it is structured now, I get all the 401K and his IRA's go to me and the kids. The house is split between us without the will. I am on his checking acct and he is not on anything of mine. I will push for a will after SD turns 18 next year. But, right now, she gets a small amount without one....After 18 I plan on making sure she gets nothing, it all will go to SS and BS. If I die, everything now except one life insurance policy goes to BS. My will stands and DH knows he gets nothing, since my will was drafted long before he came along. He has a thing about doing his will, so that is his problem.
DH doesn't realize all of this and if he does, then we can deal with it. Now, I am fine with not pursuing it.
Everything is in my name.
Everything is in my name. From the house to the businesses to the building to the new house I will be purchasing. He has me listed as his beneficiary for life insurance and his retirement account (but I know that can be contested.)
BUT this is because everything that we actually own I bought with my own money anyway. He helps pay for the upkeep of them (part of utilities, etc.) but they will never be shared under his name.
We will be looking into a revocable trust where he is the executor of the estate for our daughter and himself should something happen to me so he can, if need be, take things out and sell them for money, but that otherwise it can't be touched by nobody.
So because they have kids and
So because they have kids and if they are still minors they will get our DHs SS, etc and we get nothing?