:jawdrop:

That's all I got.

Holy Hell! :jawdrop: Must be nice to be her!

Wreck, isn't there anyway you can turn off your interests in what your DH & DH's family do with THEIR money towards the SDs? Every blog seems to involve your interest of money. Sorry just wondering how big of a jerk your DH & just how wealthy he is & if you really wanted to, you can sue for a divorce & seems he's wealthy enough to pay for child support & your alimony. Just a question....

They're either setting her up for life or setting her up failure.
I can understand helping a young adult and then letting them do the rest on their own but the help is usually useful when it is for an adult who is already responsible.
If this is a young adult who hasn't figured out how to do for herself, she may expect life to be where everyone comes to her aid whenever she needs or wants.
I've seen both instances, the first being my older sister who was always very mature and responsible. She left for college in a city far from home and my parents purchased a duplex for her to live in and to rent the other half out for income. She took that little help, got a fulltime job, made it through school and continued on to be independant and successful.
The second instance is my adult SS who is just a few years younger than I am and his parents have crippled him for life by giving him everything (he was his mom's favorite) and beyond.
I'm talking roof over his head, food, vehicle. He had NO responsibility. When I first came into the picture I was floored. My DH was widowed about six years before I came into the picture and even though it was DH's deceased wife who had been the main one to just freely give, Dh had continued it after she died. It wasn't until I came on the scene that things changed "a little".
Basically, I let DH know that I found it reprehensible that any of my hard earned money should ever go to help support this grown ass man who should have been taught to do for himself, be it directly (would never happen) or indirectly (me picking up the slack on our combined billes due to DH giving to SS).

I think you really need to TRY and disengage from what your DH does with the skids. It will be hard, but it is best.

PS...I can totally get your frustration. You also NEED to become self sufficient ASAP.

I guess it depends on what type of kid/skid this one is. Does she feel it is her RIGHT to not have to pay for anything or is she a good person who is going to appreciate the effort being made for her (especially from her SF who owes her nothing!).

Some kids are ruined by parents paying for everything. Some aren't. It all has to do with their personality and mindset.

If She can't afford to rent an apartment by herself. Why is her family her dad, mom, step dad subsidizing her costs? If its for Post Secondary reasons, understandable..she should stay on residence. Problem solved. This does not instill monetary values for her going forward...as she'll always have money backed up. And xy&z will take care of it.
Its nice if the family has the money to do so, but will this financial burden(so to speak) have a bearing on future concerns, such as retirement plans, housing, savings etc?
If it is too much of a financial burden, I would mention this to your DH and perhaps say, have you thought of your retirement plans? our children etc?
If he already pays CS plus the cost of post secondary education, I would think he has already fulfilled his needs. If he has the resources and it will not affect his future(retirement) then I can understand subsidizing a small amount of her rent, if not. He needs a reality check.

If l had the kind of money the OP's husband, the BM and SF seems to have, I'd make the same choices.