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Am I over reacting and being over protective?

newbiestepmom25's picture

Submitted by newbiestepmom25 on Sat, 06/01/2013 - 12:10pm

Every time SS10 is alone with my baby he starts getting fussy. I know his cry and that is his irritated cry. I'm not trying to be bias and just assume that SS is doing anything wrong to my baby. I just get pissed when I hear my baby crying like that. SS10 has been getting on my last good nerve. He is loud, obnoxious and thinks every freaking thing is funny.

DH says that the baby just needs to get use to SS. Please tell me what you think? My brain is operating on annoyance so I'm not thinking fairly. I have to go to work soon and I don't want DH letting SS alone with my baby if its only going to irritate him. what do you think?

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newbiestepmom25's picture

Submitted by newbiestepmom25 on Sat, 06/01/2013 - 12:25pm

I've been working on some papers for work and DH let SS watch baby in the playpen when he went to the bathroom. And he let him feed him a bottle when I went to the store and left them alone which pissed me off.

learningallthetime's picture

Submitted by learningallthetime on Sat, 06/01/2013 - 1:45pm

I agree. It needs to be emphasized to the skid and DH the "what if". We had a 13 yo skid desperate to babysit, and was mad that we would not let her babysit the 6 yo diabetic. She had gone to the classes for diabetes. We would let her babysit 4 yo if needed. Simple logic. Diabetics who go hypoglycemic are very scary, I as a trainee nurse and adult would struggle to get the gel etc in him. He needed EMS transport several times from both houses. If that happened on her watch she MIGHT do fine and be ok but IF it got bad, 6 yo could be dead and 13 yo would have to live with the constant guilt. No one needs that. She grasped it eventually.

realitycheckmom's picture

Submitted by realitycheckmom on Sat, 06/01/2013 - 1:45pm

I think the problem here is how does she tell her DH? When I suspected SS9 of hurting DD3 I got security cameras. There was a huge fight between FDH and myself. My mom caught SS9 hitting DD several times bfore the cameras were put up. I would not allow them alone together.

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Sat, 06/01/2013 - 4:18pm

I was 9.5 yrs older than my youngest sister. And until my mother was VERY comfortable with my behaviour around my sister I was not even allowed to pick her up.

Talk to DH about kids being responsible and trustworthy. If SS makes excuses all the time why things happen (and allowing for him not lying to avoid a out of control punishment) he is not responsible enough.

But then you are leaving your child in his father's care. And if Dad needs to use the bathroom SOMEONE has to watch the baby. Also feeding the baby a bottle is also about bonding with his brother. He has to take his time and calm down. His father is right there. And in time this 10 yr old may be the one who defends his little brother from someone who is wanting to hurt him.

Just talk to DH about the responsibility/trustworthy nature of SS. And remind SS that he needs to keep his inside voice turned on when he is inside because it scares his brother.

lac925's picture

Submitted by lac925 on Sun, 06/02/2013 - 2:34pm

Don't leave SS10 alone with the baby - ever. You never know what could happen, even if you think SS10 is a responsible kid. Call it mother's intuition. If you feel anything is not right, then it probably isn't. If you need to run out for an errand, take the baby with you (depending on the type of errand) or send DH out to do it. I know how you feel - I have a SS11 and SD9, plus a BS6 and BS17months. Unless YOU feel comfortable enough to leave the baby with SS10, then don't leave them alone together. Forget what other people say. Your priority is that baby. It's YOUR decision.