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Bio Mom AKA Baby Mill

second string's picture

Submitted by second string on Thu, 05/30/2013 - 7:52am

Well BM supposedly went into labor last night. This makes number 6 with father #6 and the father is in jail . I hate that DH's CS will now be used to take care of this new one and SS8 will have even less than he does now. I hate that she lives off the system and has no desire to change anything. I hate that her oldest son, her brother and now baby daddy#6 are all in jail and that SS is growing up thinking that this is "normal and OK". But most of all, I hate that I am jealous beyond all measure that she is having another baby and I can't even have one. Why is it that someone so undeserving is so fertile and I, who could give so much to a baby, is left childless not by choice. DH tries to comfort me, but he can never understand because he has a son. I don't like living with all this hatred in my heart but I don't know how to just let it go.

Comments

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Thu, 05/30/2013 - 8:15am

Crap! I am so sorry. I truly understand. I have a good friend his wife and they are just amazing people, responsible, etc...and can't have kids. Why? Because they did the responsible thing. You know, I read a book about how these inner city girls have babies early and not later and one of the things it stated was that they were WELL AWARE that while the rest of us have been told we can have kids until our 40s or so, they know that the younger they are the easier it will be...so they have kids early instead of going to school and then AFTER that attempt to move on with their lives...even at the expense of others. It really does make me sick that our society tells us to wait and rewards the irresponsible women in this world.

By the way, I was told for years I could not have children as I had a tumor on my pituitary (prolactinoma) and one day the thing just disappeared... :?
So, I really understand how you feel because for years I thought the same freaking thing.

A big hug!

queenofthedamned's picture

Submitted by queenofthedamned on Thu, 05/30/2013 - 8:34am

Hugs.

I am so there with you. I am also childless not by choice - tried for years with my ex who had male factor infertility, and now I'm with FDH, who is vasectomized and not exactly eager to reverse it. Makes me sad because I would have been a great mom. I have my suspicions that BM is preggo right now. If that's true, it'll crush me.

I have no advice, just know I've been dealing with this too. If only people who deserved babies had them, the world would be a wonderful place.

Craving Normality's picture

Submitted by Craving Normality on Thu, 05/30/2013 - 9:20am

I know of a woman that had 6 kids to 6 fathers. Some kids were living with there dads and some in foster care. I used to own a cafe, and there were 2 single dads that came in regularly who didn't know each other. Over time I got to know each of them. Turns out they both had the same BM. The 2 girls they brought with them where sisters. The dads had heard about each other but never met. I was so pleased to introduce them to each other.

simifan's picture

Submitted by simifan on Thu, 05/30/2013 - 6:15pm

I am soo sorry. I remember all to well that pain. It took 2 1/2 years to conceive DS11 with help - I always wanted more & I doubt we will at this point. BM who didn't even want to keep SD18 - has had 6 children besides SD... go figure. If you need to vent, I'm here.