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I don't know if I'm alone in this but.....

superstar's picture

Submitted by superstar on Fri, 09/28/2012 - 7:50pm

I don't know if I'm alone in this but do any other Step parents out there, who don't have the Skids living with them (phew!!) feel, well, kind of violated or intruded when the Skids come to visit or stay? I feel this to such an extent sometimes that i end up resorting to hiding, or going to stay with my parents (pathetic I know). They quite clearly don't really like my presence, mainly due to the BM's hate toward me. So they leave things round the house and expect me to tidy and clean up after them all day long, as well as keep up a full time job (which is more than BM's ever done) to keep the fridge filled so they can empty it again!I know that this is deemed as "normal teenage behaviour" but i refuse to clean and tidy after some spoilt brats just because mummy does it for them at home? this makes me look like an even worse step mum, but quite frankly, i dont really care.
It takes me and my SO days, if not weeks to get back to normal after their bombardment. My SO doesnt see anything wrong in it. Is it bad to wish right down to my soul that they didnt exist? or they were packed off to some Sh*tty boarding school somewhere a very VERY long way away? there is nothing good about them, nothing rewarding. They are just time, money and energy consuming brats that just seem to make life extreemly difficult. *Rant over*

I hope i dont feel this hatred and loathing for them forever. They and this feeling is so exhausting! Sad Sad

Comments

boogeymom's picture

Submitted by boogeymom on Sat, 09/29/2012 - 12:04pm

Wow, it's like you read my mind! That's what I'm saying, I don't let ANY child, skids or otherwise, come into my home and act disrespectful. I have no problem telling the skids they'd better pick up after themselves, even if it means they have to sit in front of the mess all day until it's done. They totally hate me and I could not possibly care less. The thing is, one day, they'll maybe have kids of their own (I hope not, but it'll probably happen), and betcha the tactics they use with their kids are the same ones I've used on them.

Annanymous's picture

Submitted by Annanymous on Sat, 09/29/2012 - 1:01am

I love my 12 yr old very much, and I still feel put out and annoyed if she leaves a mess. She doesn't leave messes very often because I don't tolerate it or clean up after her. Obviously, there is a big difference raising the SD yourself where you can make rules and expectations and having them come visit, but still do not follow them around picking up. Expect them to pick up after themselves and its your DHs responsibility to enforce expectations and respect in your situation and if he cannot, then he cleans up after his little piggies.

Toni P.'s picture

Submitted by Toni P. on Sat, 09/29/2012 - 12:21pm

Oh yeah, i havd sd pick up and she listens to me..whether she likes it or not, don't really care. I'm not picking up her mess, i don't even pick up my kids's messes. It's called responsibility and being accountable. You're not their mom, but they are sure as hell going to respect your home. As for SD14, it was a little harder because I met her at an older age, but we're now to the point, where i feel comfortable enough to tell her to pick up the cups in her room and wash them. She looks annoyed, but who cares? she'll get over it.

not.the.crazy.one's picture

Submitted by not.the.crazy.one on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 7:14am

YES! Especially when they are in my and DH's room (which is far too damned often). I have no place to hide unless I leave the house. They are allowed (by DH, damn him) to go anywhere in the house they want day or night.

kitty1470's picture

Submitted by kitty1470 on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 4:20pm

Yes I do feel this way. I feel like my home is invaded! We have a small 2 bedroom condo so they are always around. I do admit I spend a lot of my time in the bedroom even though when Im out in the living room, I watch what I want and they have no say. Toys are also not allowed out there. Toys stay in their room. They make a mess? Either SO or skids clean it up. I don't clean up after them, I don't do anything for them. I spend time in my room or go out just because I don't want to look at them or be in the same room as them. SD5s constant 'chatter' and inscessant whining just grates on me and I can't be around her for too long without losing it.