So last night was revealing. We had our talk with SS about his report card, what our expectations were moving forward and what the consequences were going to be if things were not taken care of.

Then we moved on to his 5 day school trip across the country and asked him if he thought he had earned the trip and whether he thought he deserved to go. He immediately started in with an attitude and a mocking voice saying no. His dad told him to knock it off, that we were trying to have a mature discussion with him. (Nice DH!).

We proceeded but he kept up with the attitude so we told him to go to his room. The conversation had also started one hour before the mandatory parent meeting regarding the trip.

We called him back down and asked him if he was ready to continue the discussion. We let him know that his performance in school and behavior both at school and at home did not, in our opinion, earn him the trip. We have already contributed $100 towards the trip and there was about $150 that still needed to be paid along with spending money. We asked him if he was willing to use his money to pay for the trip. (Between Christmas and BIrthday he should have had about $250). He was schocked and said "no". Then he threw a fit and said, "why do I have to pay for everything?". Then I stepped in and asked him what exactly has he EVER paid for? And reminded him of his bday money. He said he didn't have it, it was at his mom's and that she's going to open a savings account for him. (A whole entirely different blog topic in itself for a woman that has a history of stealing money from her son's room, but I digress). We asked again if he wanted to pay and he said no. Then we said, "fine, go to your room and we'll talk more later".

Again, SS goes to the room. DH and I are appalled that BM (EOWE Mom who does not participate in anything SS does, has stolen money from him in the past, who we have a restraining order against, who was absent from SS's life for 7 years and only recently showed interest when DH and I became serious - this BM) had SS bring all of his money to her house that OUR family gave him under the farce that she would open a bank account for him so he could save for a laptop.

I was appalled that SS wasn't willing to pay for the trip and that he was so quick to say no. DH was convinced that he was saying no because he knew the money was gone. So we called him back again and asked him one more time if he was willing to pay for the trip and earn money. He still said that he didn't know. We reminded him that we had a meeting to go to and there wasn't a lot of time. He said, "well, it's a hard decision to decide if you want to fly across the country or not" - of course it's a difficult decision when it's your own money, go back to your room and come down when you make your decision.

So SS comes down and says he'd like to go. We ask him how much money he had at his mom's. He says $120. We tell him he will need to earn another $30 to pay for the trip and he will need to earn money for spending money. His father and I will create a list of yard chores (and we have PLENTY) and figure out what he'll be paid but he needs to call his mom right now to get the money for the trip. ($150 was due at the meeting).

So SS calls his mom...