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I feel like I’m treading water

Love51's picture

Submitted by Love51 on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 12:10pm

I had a total break down on Saturday with my FDH about SS14. I was holding so much inside, I cried, I sobbed. I haven't cried that hard in 10 years.
FDH was so attentive. He understood, he sympathized, he thanked me for the sacrifices I make every day in order for us to be together. That's not the problem.
Today is the psychological evaluation results meeting at SS14's school. So much is riding on this and everyone will be there: FDH, SS14, MIL, FIL, BM. I won't be there, I wasn’t invited.
I am so scared the evaluation won't be accurate. I just want this kid to get the help he needs so I can get my life back. I'm sick of everyone sugar coating what is really going on.
This kid is almost 15 and still in 8th grade, he is on a medical leave from school and having a one on one teacher for one hour a day because he is so disruptive in school and the teachers don’t want to deal with him, he has no friends, he has no ability to be empathic, he has OCD tendencies, is obsessed with stereotypes, can't read social cues and has the mentality of a 10 year old. He is the greatest manipulator I have ever met. His BM won't take him back, she just has dinner with him once a week and they go to therapy once in a while. This kid needs so much more, a behavioral therapist to teach him socialization and coping skills, a special school where he can thrive. It puts so much stress on our relationship.
I am afraid that if it doesn't go well today, if this eval isn't accurate and if the family doesn't agree, this may very well lead to our end. I don't know if I will be able to go much further.

Comments

bearcub25's picture

Submitted by bearcub25 on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 12:47pm

I'm right there with you. SS is 13 and is in 6th grade. He was just suspended for the 10th time this year ad the school is done with him.

We are waiting on the courts, the psyche ppl, schools someone to get SS placed in a treatment center. I can't live with SS in my home and BM isn't able to handle him anymore either.

Love51's picture

Submitted by Love51 on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 4:50pm

Good news and a special school. I hope it comes together for you too. It's so stressful, it's good to know we are not alone!

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 12:50pm

Damn. I'm so sorry you're going through all that. I thought stepdevil14 was bad. She's a cake walk compared to your SS.

I hope all goes well with the evaluation and that he's given the help he needs. Hang in there! Smile

Love51's picture

Submitted by Love51 on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 4:53pm

Thanks RedWings. Sometimes I do wonder, to share your life with a man and his children is one thing but one with special needs.... I'm hanging in there!! Thanks!

oldone's picture

Submitted by oldone on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 1:38pm

My older now deceased SS was that kid 30 years ago when there were no provisions in the school system to handle it. No school would take him at age 8. Now the school system must provide an alternate education. He truly was a criminal sociopath.

love_my_shichi's picture

Submitted by love_my_shichi on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 3:02pm

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I hope your core is strong...you have a good job, your own money, supportive friends and family etc. Because teaming with a man with this scenario could not be all its cracked up to be and may prove to be unbearable one day. Make sure you are looking after yourself---ALWAYS.

Love51's picture

Submitted by Love51 on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 4:49pm

Thanks, love. I do have a strong background. I have my own career, financially independant, great family and friends and even a FDH that is pretty amazing. I continue to take care of myself, and in this whole process have a renewed sense of spirituality as I can't do it alone. You take care too.