Well, since he's not living up to your idea of a father and a husband and enforcing respect for all adults in the house with his daughter, that may not be the worst idea in the world.

It's a crappy situation and I'm sorry you're in it. It sounds like he wants you to do all the scut work without giving you anything at all. You deserve better.

Sorry to hear, and know what you mean. They think its all about them and what was expected of you. BULLSHIT! They have a level of expectation as well, and they have sucked when it comes to living up to that standard. Hopefully you dont share kids together?

So..let me get this right..he is wanting to end the marriage because you are not going to pretend to be a mom to a kid that you are not the mother to? She is not your child, and he is her father. If by "disengaging" you mean, "putting the responsibility of parenting on the parent," then I don't see what the problem is. Especially if he does nothing to correct his child's behavior towards you. Tell him, "GOOD LUCK finding someone you and your kid can walk all over and still expect Mary F'ing Poppins treatment from. Peace, bitches!"

I agree with little panda.

I was trying to read some of ur blogs to get a feel. And just the glimpses I've seen.

Ur DH is an idiot. He's in denial about his child. There is something wrong with her behaviors, and I think the posters were right about sexual abuse etc. He doesn't want to stand up for you, has forced a drug addict in ur home.

Your marriage was ruined by him. It's his job to parent his kid, and his job as husband to support you , as a couple. He chose to have these kids, not you. And if you backing off, and letting him parent doesn't meeet his expectations then f him. There are people who get paid to parent when the parents don't want to, and step mothers are not those people.

Luckily, you DON'T have children of you own to be concerned about. It's easy for us to say leave him, but I know its hard to do. Maybe you could call his bluff, pack ur clothes and take that 20 bucks and go stay at a friends for a few days. Threats do not work well for me, and I would make him eat those words. Telling me I'm not good enough as a wife because I won't do ur kids laundry, let's me know exactly just how important I am in your life. You are young, and don't need this crap. There are single men out there, with out kids, and who also don't want kids that you can find a healthy loving relationship with. A relationship where you two can love and enjoy each other and take vacations together and not have to worry about a drug addict in ur home.

This situation really bothers me, because I see so much opportunity for you, and a much better life being away from this man... That I'm almost jealous of the chance he has given you.