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galwaygirl's picture

Submitted by galwaygirl on Sat, 01/19/2013 - 10:38am

I'm a 40 year old woman and I live with my gf and her 4 kids. There is more to the story but i'll talk about that later. 3 girls ( teenagers) and 1 boy (11). I've been living here for a year and it hasn't been easy for any of us. Don't get me wrong...we have good times too. It's just that I went from a relationship with one other person for about 10 years to a gf with 4 kids. The fights that my gf and I get into are almost always about the kids. So I came here to talk to people who can relate.

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supermom5's picture

Submitted by supermom5 on Sat, 01/19/2013 - 12:21pm

I have been a step-parent for about five years now...there will always be fights about the kids. It is hard to find common ground. I am hoping for myself it will get easier as they get older. (out of the house, but I have a long time to go!) We love each other, I'm guessing that is why we are still together but we still have many arguments about the kids. When you talk about it, try to meet in the middle somewhere Smile

supermom5's picture

Submitted by supermom5 on Sat, 01/19/2013 - 12:50pm

All situations are different. I don't completely agree with the above person. If you are living with this person, the kids are your concern. If you act as a parent, the kids are your concern. Just because you didn't spit them out yourself doesn't mean you don't have any say so in how they are being raised. This is when you and your SO need to come in the middle somewhere. Your SKs are older than mine were when the relationship started, but the kids have to know also, changes are to be made. Not one single person is the same, was raised the same, or is the same when families are combined. You just need to find out how to work out some of the kinks. Like I said before, there will always be arguments but you two just have to find a common ground.

notagain2012's picture

Submitted by notagain2012 on Sat, 01/19/2013 - 3:05pm

Welcome to step talk. We all fight about the kids! Hopefully we can help you stay sane.

I tend to read through blogs a lot, and only post every so often, but either way it helps to see others having my same issues. Smile