The Silence Breaks!
My boyfriend finally contacted me last night and said: "Going forward, what will YOU do different?"
I told him that on weekends he has his daugthers I will be more present and interested in "family time". I also told him that I'll be more cautious in the way I "handle" issues that arise and not attack him (since he's the type of individual that needs to be handled with kid gloves at all times."
His response: "Good. When you show and prove then we can have a relationship. I'm not going to see you until I have my daugthers again and we all hangout."
Mind you, he has TWO infant sons with me. Thank God I have my Mother helping me. 
He won't come to my house. He's said "NO" repeatedly.
I can't continue waiting around, being punished by him...
- AtMyWitsEndNY's blog
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I'm a little disturbed that a
I'm a little disturbed that a grown woman lets a man treat her this way. What exactly are you getting out of this relationship anyway?
Not only is she letting him
Not only is she letting him treat HER this way, but she is letting him treat her kids this way. They are his sons, too, and he doesn't give a damn. ANd he is blaming you. You left because of the situation and his way of fixing it is to ask you what YOUR going to do differently?
Whipped women that put men
Whipped women that put men before their kids baffle me. There is no dick on Earth that is worth this nonsense. When we become mothers we do so with the understanding that it is OUR job to provide a loving, safe & nurturing environment for our kids to thrive in. This will happen WITH or WITHOUT a man. How old is the OP anyway?
I agree, WTF? Girl somebody
I agree, WTF? Girl somebody needs to shake some sense into you. Don't ever let anybody treat you like this. Ever! You have kids by this fool, unless you want them to grow up and think that it is ok to treat the women in their lives this way, you really should consider cutting contact with this clown and demonstrating to your children that nobody needs to put up with being treated like he is treating you.
Go find out about getting a fair amount of child support, move on and leave this guy in your rear view window.
Ok sweetheart: Borrow my
Ok sweetheart:
Borrow my spine. It is obvious you need one and I have plenty to spare:
"Going forward what will YOU do different?"
Correct Answer: Oh honey it's already DONE. I filed for child support see MY children have just as much right to be supported by their father as (insert BM's name here)'s children do.
Additionally, I will be seeking counceling to determine why I allowed myself to be treated like a door mat by you for so long and determine why I allowed you to sink my self esteem into the toilet and make me believe that MY children were not as worthy as your OTHER children. No more sir. You see this old dog can learn new tricks! Fair warning: you wont like the new tricks.
After a CO is in place you may see the boys, not until. I advise you to watch your mailbox carefully for court paperwork from the CS enforcement department, they get cranky when ignored.
Once the message is sent: DO NOT respond to him any further. Let CS get ahold of his ass and GO FILE TODAY.
WTH??? How old are??? Why
WTH???
How old are??? Why do you allow him to speak to you like you are his child?
Instead of sitting around waiting for him to take you off of punishment, get up and head to 2 places.
1. The courthouse~ apply for child support
2. Social Services~ apply for anything you need to help take care of your sons. They may be able to help with job placement if you're unemployed. They can also help with free or low cost day care. Or better yet, your
BF wiill have to pay for child care.
What just his wife said spot
What just his wife said spot on. Why in the H E double hockey sticks would you allow yourself to be relegated to being HIS bitch cause that's how he's treating you and your and his bio sons. Take his balls and tell him exactly waht just his said stop lying down and being walked on. your better than this, you don't deserve this. THIS IS NOT LOVE!
I'm so not a bible person but there is one part, that I have held to in my relationships after divorce:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.- Corinthians 14:4
If you go back to him we wont
If you go back to him we wont be able to help you, the only person who will be able to help you is yourself.
If I am not mistaken you have a son between the two of you correct? How proud of your son would you be if he spoke to his wife like SO just spoke to you?
Please break the cycle and get out of this toxic relationship
Now I hope this is just a dog
Now I hope this is just a dog being kicked down the stairs.
Please break the cycle and
Please break the cycle and get out of this toxic relationship
^^^^^ THIS. You are in a terrible downward cycle and your life (AND your sons) will not get better until you break it.
You need to do EXACTLY what just his wife said!!!
There is all kinds of state and government aid to help you with your children until you can start getting child support. Oh, and depending on how old your sons are most states don't even require you to go to work to draw state aid until the youngest child is school age.
What is hindering you from standing up to this man?
Did he happen to mention at
Did he happen to mention at all what HE would do differently? I have read your blogs and your boyfriend sounds like an ass. I know it's hard when you have children with someone to leave but here's the question, what kind of life do you want for your boys? What happens when they are older and the girls are older and they start tormenting them? It doesn't sound like your boyfriend is going to step up and protect them from the girls. What happens if the one with behavioral problems decides to attack or perp on your son? What happens when someone reports it to CPS and then the boys get taken away and you get thrown in jail for failing to protect them?
I spent two years in a relationship with someone who was an alcoholic. Everytime he would fuck up, the question was inevitably what I was going to do differently. This guy is making you the problem when HE refuses to grow up and be a parent. I would tell him that you aren't willing to hang out with HIM until he treats ALL of his children equally, including supporting and protecting them because that has to be YOUR priority.
What would you do
What would you do differently? Hell no....You need to stand up for yourself and move the hell on. This guy is a jerk...
""Going forward, what will
""Going forward, what will YOU do different?"
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Please text him back & let him know you'll be finding a man who deserves you & your children, & then tell him to kindly EFF OFF!
Sweetheart - Please do not
Sweetheart - Please do not put up with this kind of crap from him.
Go file for child support and dump his dumb ass. He is being abusive towards you and your kids.
You don't need this man in your life. Get some counseling and learn to stand up for yourself.
This guy is a jerk, but you're allowing him to treat you and your kids this way.
Take a stand, show him the door and get CS for your kids.
Wait, YOU need to change?
Wait, YOU need to change? YOU need to prove to him you want to be with his daughters?!?!?
PLEASE take everyone's advice and call a lawyer.
Honey - please file for child
Honey - please file for child support now! This is not a man, but a man-child. You need to to think about your children. They and you deserve better.
Your sons have a RIGHT to be
Your sons have a RIGHT to be supported by their father and their mother. You are doing your part. File with CS enforcement ASAP because you can't collect a penny for any time interval prior to filing with the court. Some states have an administrative process that essentially represents your children's interests, and they do all the processing for you. You don't need a lawyer for this, and since you don't need a divorce, your legal fees will be zero for this phase. If he wants visitation, he can file with the court for a hearing. Deal with that issue later. In the meanwhile, please look for some counseling to help you recognize abuse when it happens to you. If you grew up in a dysfunctional family, abuse looks kind of normal, and you need help to understand the way you are being treated IS NOT NORMAL. Why would you walk around this man and the SDs on eggshells, hoping you don't "upset" anyone? Stop being a doormat. You teach people how to treat you, and this man has learned you can be intimidated into submission.