You are here

Ready to throw in the towel

Gmama's picture

Submitted by Gmama on Mon, 11/26/2012 - 1:54pm

We started counseling a few months ago ,basically about how I can deal with the EX better ,and how HE needs to Handel the EX better?
So far we have accomplished NOTHING,,,he doesn't understand by letter her control him and our lives is killing our marriage and I haven't figured out out to detach myself from the whole mess. Sad thing is I'm detaching from my husband and marriage as well,,
I really don't know if its worth the time And money to keep going or just forget it and live with it...
Any ideas for me?

Comments

Outside Looking In's picture

Submitted by Outside Looking In on Mon, 11/26/2012 - 2:51pm

I myself have gone to counseling because of the oldest SS, but wife does not want to go, well she will go, but knows what will be said already, so..... Sad
I wish you luck in your relationship, I see your headline and I feel that pain as well.
Yes it does seem that we are giving much more than receiving and THAT in itself is a problem.

12yrstepmonster's picture

Submitted by 12yrstepmonster on Mon, 11/26/2012 - 2:52pm

It took 3 yrs of counseling. We are still together. I'm still not 100% sure he's the one. But for the first time in our marriage he's learning to put us and me ahead of him.

Old habits are hard to break. The real question is do.you love him?

Hullabaloo's picture

Submitted by Hullabaloo on Mon, 11/26/2012 - 2:54pm

I would say make darn sure you find a counselor that specializes in step-families. Many counselors, without knowing any better, will treat you in the same manner that they would a traditional nuclear family, and that just doesn't work!

red flags's picture

Submitted by red flags on Mon, 11/26/2012 - 4:47pm

It looks like you guys started counseling back in May/June. Has anything improved? Does he recognize your feelings? Sometimes this stuff is slow going... Ask yourself what would have to change for you to stay and then give him your bottom line in therapy. That should give you your answer. If he's participating in therapy it sounds like he wants things to improve. And just remember... It never works to fight to be right. Fight for solutions! (This one is hard for me sometimes)