So the college results start to come out
SS17 applied to 5 schools with full confidence with an unweighted gpa of 3.1 (that includes core support classes that don't count by the schools he applied to). I've told him the schools he applied to are very competitive ( he was to apply to only one school lol) and he should expand his options.
Boy doesn't believe because who am I to know this school system lol. (um, but we are talking about the top UCs, I thought anyone would know they are top UCs..).
The schools started to send decisions to the applicants this month, so far he has gotten 4 rejections and he's surprised. It's supposed to be a life lesson, but I doubt it is going to sink in.
I feel I'm kinda mean to secretly feeling relieved of this result. I'd admit it's partially because even I didn't get to get in to those school because I didn't think I could (had I known ss sooner I'd definitely try!!!).
I've ranted about school lowering their standards when grading ss, and it rings especially true after the very last IEP meeting with the high school. We saw a writing sample ss did, which consisted of 43% of quotes from the book he read. DH thought that really should be a C or D essay but the teacher gave him a B-. Perhaps the teachers are afraid of making us upset if they grade him with the real standards, but this is seriously why ss is so confident without actually having the skills to be ready..for either work or further study.
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This worries me too
I just posted a blog asking for stories and advice on all this. I'm afraid that SS isn't going to be prepared when it comes to college time either. My SS also thinks that he is the best sports player ever and is going to play sports at college on scholarship and get drafted, all that. I'm just sitting here thinking dear SS you aren't smart and not the best sports player because you don't try or apply yourself. I'm waiting for the time that SS will have to start writing papers since he is in high school now. But IDK what the school system teaches anymore, it is all on a computer and they never have homework, book reports or books to read anymore. I mean do they even have spelling tests anymore?
I remember growing up thinking I wasn't very smart but I had a 3.7 gpa or so. I only applied to state schools and got into all 3 I applied to but I never ever thought about applying to really competative schools. Now I see a pattern with some of these kids, my SS included that they think they are great at everything and it isn't true because of a lack of practice and application. It is really frustrating to me because I've had to increasingly disengage for years b/c of all the SP problems we face. Now it is frustrating b/c if these dummies would have just listened to me and did what I suggested then they would be miles in front but no. I think you are right and there is a connection between teachers facing backlash from either parents or the school for the failure of students. Back in my day, teachers didn't care and you either did the work or you failed now we are starting to see some gentle schooling coming into the mix.
It’s complicated
So DD is in the same school district and she's currently in middle school, going to high school next semester. She's got a lot more homework, tests, essays...you name it. When SS17 has a month to come up with a 4-paragraph essay, DD14 has to write a 6-page paper in two weeks. DD also have test to memorize new vocabs' definitions. Meanwhile SS' English teacher doesn't even pick on his spelling..(seriously this is the ONE class that really should care about spellings!!)
I don't blame everything on the teachers though. They have so many kids to take care of, and if one of them is so stubborn and won't listen, what's the point to cater to one and ignore all others in the class? I've witnessed the teachers tried and gave up, but at the end it really feels like they don't want to tell us SS' work is $hit and gave a soft B-.
i hope community college teachers are not gonna grade work like this. We've been telling ss high school requires hard work and the school keeps proving us wrong. (For ss, because everyone else in that school is working super hard and this is one of the most competitive high school!) It's really hard to give this kid a reality check.
Idk what your SS's IEP says,
Idk what your SS's IEP says, but that may be why he gets so many "passes." College won't be that way, though. I think there are some accomodations for students with learning problems, but i doubt they will give, say, a medical or engineering degree to someone who can't or won't do the work. Your DH needs to really think about future paths for SS that he CAN do. I've seen skids (mine) who were pressured to try to be doctors and engineers and they have major student debt and no degree. They both could have been out earning a living wage for years by now if they had chosen a realistic path.
The IEP definitely didn't say
The IEP definitely didn't say he get a free pass. There are accommodations like extra time for hw (up to 1 day), allowing grammar and other tools for writing, taking tests in resource room..etc. But I read it somewhere like if the teacher fails a sped student, they will need to write a report or something like that. I don't know if that is true. It's also possible that tea ch er is giving ss good grades because DH has expressed his desire to have ss go to college. So they let him meet the minimum requirements to apply.
I think it is clear to DH now that ss is not ready for the 4 year college yet. If this kid actually makes a change he still can transfer into one of those schools. I just don't see that drive in him, but we never know.
SS should apply to
Some state schools. You don't want him sitting home because he didn't get in to any schools
He's most likely to go to a
He's most likely to go to a community college as a start. If that doesn't work out, he will have to get a job. DH and I are on the same page (thank god!!).
Your experience is a solid
Your experience is a solid story of working hard and put in full efforts in the things you do. This is the thing we don't see SS doing. Even when he's doing 3D printing (One of the things he's interested in), he just use other people's work and doesn't put in much work in creating his own. One of his current class is to do these designs, and he skipped all the required steps just went straight to the printing part. But of course, he told us that the teacher said his work is the top of the class....which i really doubt. (I was ready to praise the work when I heard his said that, but then he show me the work....it wasn't anything requiring much of thought...so i had to swallow my praise back....)
I myself am very lucky to be able to get my higher education with my parents full support, and I have no problem supporting either of the kids at the house IF they put their full efforts in. I also believe that college is not for everyone, and that kids don't necessarily needs to go to college right after graduating high school. It won't hurt them to explore in the real world for a few years, sometimes that even helps them to figure out what they really want. (Because that's what my job taught me, when i pursued my second masters degree)
My SS is kind of a wild card...He's not stupid, but really hasn't gotten a real taste of the expectation from the society. I really do hope he get to find a job/career that he likes, but as long as he can support himself I truly don't care what he does (i mean, just can't be crime that's all).
I was hoping the rejection from the schools could have taught him something (4 out of 5 already rejected him), but i have yet to see the effect (as he just went straight back to video games after he got the rejections.). I will give him the benefit of doubt though....since he's not one to know how to express and communicate.
Here comes community college!
Here comes community college! There is nothing wrong with CC btw but there may be something wrong with your SS.
I went to CC.. I actually
I went to CC.. I actually started out at a very prestigious 4 year university.. where I was immature and didn't put in the work.. and was asked to take a semester to "think about priorities".. I worked for a few years before going back to school.. starting at CC.. then transferring to a 4 year state school.. after I had proved I was willing to put in the effort.