Does your SS drive yet?  If he is applying to college.. wouldn't he be old enough to drive?  I guess maybe he isn't responsible enough..haha.

IDK.. kids are just so self centered.. I think that it just doesn't occur to them that their parents aren't just hanging about .. waiting to be able to jump to some assistance.. lol.  

At least he brought this up before the trip.. and didn't call you while you were away.. demanding you return early.. At this point.. gosh.. son.. we were not going to be home.. can you arrange a ride with a friend.. or uber?

I think at 17 and approaching HS graduation that coddling, catering to, and being SS's beck and call service is done.  Special needs/syndromed or not.

If he is going to remain in your hme after HS graduation/18th B-day he has to get the instant lesson on reality that he is not the boss of anyone. Even himself if he is in your home. He is instantly and forever reasonable in h is behavior, and that his grandious dreams of the University of his choice is on him and him alone.

Competitive entry schools delect those who are most competitive in matching the standards of the school.  Dreams don't matter.

Time for Skippy to lock in and live in reality.  He can still attend University.  Where he attends is nowhere near as critical as is that he attends. 

IMHO, based on my own experience, there comes a point where and when what the kid wants and dreams is irrelevant and the parent(s) need to define the map for the kid. Go to school here. Study this.  Take out loans and pass the semester. We will pay off the loans. One semester at a time. Fail, you keep the loans.

News and society are full of failed outcomes for many kids who go the pie in the sky route.  Looking to find what they love to do, etc, etc, etc...  University/College/Trade Schools are about two things. An education, and a viable job field.  Many kids and parents get all twitterpated over the school, the kids dreams, etc... and end up spending shit tons of money on an education that will not support the kid in the job market if the kid graduates at all.

The national 6yr graduation rate is 63% for public colleges and universities and 68% for private schools.  

My own path demonstrated this. My first career was as a restaurateur.  With business partners I started a company that purchased and operated restaurant franchises.  We focused on aged franchises, bought them, restored them, set up best practice based business practices, optimized profitability then either sold them or retained and operated them.  All of our locations were in major University metro areas.  Many of my employees were multi-degreed eternal students who did not have degrees that were viable in the job market. Hence, they were servers.  Lots of language majors, focused studies majors, cause oriented degree majors, etc...  They were brilliant and they were excellent servers.

One of my closest childhood friend's degree is in French. She worked internationally as a language instructor for about 5yrs in multiple regions and countries and became fluent in several more languages. But, no significant money in it or ability to support herself comfortably. She returned home and went to nursing school.  She has worked as a nurse for 30+ years and done very well.

In my case, I was 20 semester hours from completing my BA in Economics.  I was getting to the end of my restaurateur interests and started looking for my next career path. With a BA in Econ the best offer I was made was "When you graduate we will start you as a Teller and in two years we will move you to a loan officer role." Making about what I was making already.

Mom and dad did well with Engineering so I changed majors for the 7th and last time and went that path.  Not because I had any interest in engineering. My motivator was access to the industries and companies that would provide me with a long term career path and financial security.  Mine was not a high profile school.  It was the one that would get me to graduation in the shortest time.  I had been accepted to the UT school of Engineering. My advisor smacked me in the face with "Your completed course work does not include most of the prerequisites for upper division engineering. It will take a minimum of 5 more years to graduate with a BS in engineering. If you can get all of the classes you need at the right time.  This was during the auditorium registration years where you made multiple class selection options, stood in line, and hoped you got your preferred classes. If not, off you went to another line, then another, then another often getting only a single of half a dozen classes you needed. If you were lucky to even get one.

So, I transferred to a non competitive entry school with an engineering program that was a fixed program. Of the entire BS program only two classes were electives. Every other class was on a fixed schedule. Start on day one, pass all of your classes, and graduate on the day affiliated with your start date. No muss, no fuss.  While the course work was brutal, the scheduling and course availability was guaranteed and reliable. No find a seat bullshit.

I get the struggle your SS is having with growing up and with disappointment, etc... I certainly dealt with it at his stage in life. My son did as well.

Do not let his tears derail your quality of life.  He is the one that is struggling to avoid derailment.

He could use a clear path mandated by his parents. I certainly could have used a far more direct mandate at his stage than what I navigated.

Good luck to him and to you in all of this.

Don't forget to take care of you.

"SS, the world doesn't revolve around you." God help any of his future employers. 

He knows.'

 Kids will be kids. It's the parents job to make the kids understand life.  How he fits in. That he's a spoke in a wheel.  I'm old we don't have spokes anymore ?

To be the smartest person in the room all of the time, never happens.  There is always someone present who is sharper, some that are less sharp, and it behooves people like this kid to listen, learn, and meld his intelligence with that of the others.  Being a pompous dickhead rarely works out well for the pompous dickhead.

Though overconfident, I have never pushed that to the pompous dickhead point and recognized that in my chosen career, respecting others was critical to gaining the respect needed to do what I do.

My overconfidence is something my parents have coached me on my entire life and is something that my best teachers and professors have remarked on and mentored me on regarding recognizing where limits are and not violating those limits.

I home this kid learns and has a decent life.  It will be interesting to track his unfolding future.