O/T Question about opposite sex working together
I am just wanting to know if your SO was going to be working out of town with the opposite sex would you think they should tell you?
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I am just wanting to know if your SO was going to be working out of town with the opposite sex would you think they should tell you?
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Yes they should. Other
Yes they should. Other details would be relevant, whether they're driving together, other coworkers going too, hotel, dinners? For example if my husband was going out of town with just another female and driving together..
SO was so worried at one
SO was so worried at one point that a male friend of mine that I met at work 25 years ago was more. SO was curious if I was such good friend with him how was it never romantic. I know that I had got on SO phone several years ago behind his back because I knew he was over communicating with BM because we are on the same phone plan and I wanted to prove it. It was about the kids but I needed to prove how much. He doesn't think I look at his texts anymore. I don't want to make this to long , but the first women was hired into his company. Working from home, no traveling , so only phone communication with SO for assistance. I didn't care. Then phone calls started coming in earlier then they ever had . I know work is super busy for him right now. He deals with alot of issues on the phone with work. He talked about how much he is bothered. I am always curious about his job. We were not talking about the woman but the department she works in should be calling other people. I needed his phone , I saw her contact and then realized she was the one early in the morning. And some conversations are extremely long Still whatever she is new he has been there many years. I get she needs help. Also it doesn't look like anything bad , she just is a little over the top with , thank yous and you are the best with stuff he was helping her with. But some women do that. I was on His phone for something yesterday a text comes thru and he asks me what it was . It wasn't her. But while I was looking I saw a text that said what hotel are you staying at. so I pulled it up and saw she will be out of town with him. I didn't say I looked because we went thru this me snooping things already. I was able to start a conversation later that lead to me asking if this woman ever would be going out of town. It doesn't matter how I got there. He straight up said no. So why the lie. I don't want to not trust him. BM cheated on him for years and he is disgusted by people that cheat. Maybe he thinks I would just get upset. I don't know but it isn't setting well with me.
Was it her asking what hotel
Was it her asking what hotel he is staying at... Cause that doesn't sound good
Also its not good that he lied saying she is not going out of town.
So... Regardless if you snooped, he is lying that another woman is not going out of town when she is. He should have told the truth... It's dishonest and shady.
Yes she was asking what hotel
Yes she was asking what hotel he booked at so she could book also. I don't like that he is not being honest about it. I don't know if he is just trying to not make me uncomfortable with it. Well this makes it worse. I know he can't help if the company sends her , but with how she texts him. I am a little uneasy.
It's the lie. That's why you
It's the lie. That's why you can't trust him.
Meh
In my case, yes only because we talk about everything. So for DH to say he has to go out of town for work for a few days, I would be interested. "Oh, interesting. Where you headed? Are you staying some place nice? What kind of stuff do you have to do while you're there? Will yo uat least have a chance to go out with friends for a nice dinner?" That kind of stuff. And naturally it would come up in conversation "Yup, staying at a Best Western. Diane and I are hoping to try that new hot wings restaurant".
Would he make a specific point of saying "I'm going to work out of town with Diane, but don't worry we have separate rooms and won't be spending any time together socially". No. And I'd be wierded out if he did. He has female friends. He's welcome to go out with them in public. As a senior staff member he wouldn't take the risk of being anywhere private (not worth the potential false accusations). But he has never given me a moment's worry so my answer may not be your answer.
I think that IS the answer.
I think that IS the answer. Your DH has shown himself to be so trustworthy over the years that it's not even an issue.
Now, if he had a history of cheating, or if you had caught him in lies in the past, it would be different. I've come to realize that a motivated cheater will find a way. Trying to control them only makes them more cautious and delays the inevitable. Even if he's not a "motivated cheater" per se, maybe he's just a weak man who, if a woman came onto him, wouldn't be able to stop himself. You have to worry about those guys, too.
Sadly I believe that the type of guy you can trust completely is a unicorn. OP, if I'm not mistaken, you've caught your DH in some small lies involving BM. I get it. But, if he's the type you can't trust, give him enough rope to hang himself. Better the trash takes itself out sooner than later.
Well you all know that he is
Well you all know that he is spineless when it comes to BM and the kids.I know that I live affection from him and he loves it even more from me. I say a lot of things that make him look bad, but affection is not one of them.With the recent issue and him going out of town a tiny portion of me is worried . You can see in a reply above she is a little over the top with thank yous and such.So would he cave. I don't know.I know he never hangs out with the men when they are out of town together. He is OCD and has a routine. He takes food and eats in his room to bring home the per diam money.
In my marriage, yes DH and I
In my marriage, yes DH and I would let each other know if a co-worker was travelling with us out of town and I would expect he disclose if it was a woman too.
But DH is such a shit stirrer though, to wind me up, he wouldn't be able to control himself and immediately tell me how he would wine and dine her jokingly.
I trust him 100% and wouldn't be threatened at all only because he makes me feel loved and has made me feel secure.
Example, Once he went into a cafe to order our coffees and he was in there for ages! I was sitting with DD4 and DS1. Then a slim, blond attractive woman approached me with a baby strapped to her front and apologised for holding up my husband's time as she used to go to school with him and stated she was in there chatting to him for ages. I smiled and waved to her good bye when she left and when DH sat down he told me up front she told him that she lives local here and for him to let her know when he's here again and they can catch up. Lol who says that to an old high school friend when we are in our late 30's? I just shook my head and said of course she did, we laughed it off. But, funny she never mentioned to me she invited my husband to catch up. So, it goes back to trust and knowing your SO will disclose information to you.