I Just Have to Tell You This!
SD showed up this morning. She had one of those foot boots you get when you break your ankle, etc.; a brace on the other knee, and something on her shoulder. What a sight.
H immediately (damn him) invites her in. For 45 min. we listen to her sob story about all her trial and tribulations with her husband, mainly how they want to retire but don't want to retire because they want to wait until they are 65 (about 5 more years). Just look at her, how is she gonna make it? (Damed if I know, but I don't care).
Then it starts about how they could do it if they had some help with insurance costs until then. (Doesn't take long) H is upset with all her "problem" eventhough he has been having severe lung issues the last 3 months, not that she would care, and doesn't.
I made certain I didn't leave him alone with her and I didn't offer coffee, etc. hoping she would get the hint but then she is only worried about what she wants and manipulation.
I finally stopped her pity party saying that gee, it was too bad she had all those problem, we have health problems too, would she like to hear them? Then I started off about my knee problems and walking.... Didn't get too far before she closed up shop and was ready to leave. All the time she was here, 45 in, she never asked how we were doing or what was going on in our lives.
Really, H and I are on a very fixed income. We both have health problems and mobility issues. For her to come here with all her braces etc and complain about how bad she is, how are they going to go on because they can't (don't want) to retire early. (Her hubby works, she doesn't).
Well, my comments got her headed out the door. H was kind of TO'd at me because he knew what I was doing. I didn't say it to him., but she was just here to check if we were still alive, our conditions, and if she could manipulate H into something.
I am going to make sure to stand guard when she is around. H, being a good man, can be a softy for a sob story.
Yeah, it really got her up
Yeah, it really got her up and moving when I started telling her about our Doc apts, how many and how expensive it is. THAT she didn't want to hear.
I also kept thinking about elder abuse.....trying to get something, which is what she does.
I'm not sure what all her problems were as, well, it didn't make sense. She was wearing one of those foot boots, but had not broken or fractured a bone etc., nor about the shoulder. You have to understand, though, that she has a magnitude of illnesses, many imagined and things that are "exotic" so to speak. As her sister, the nurse, once said; this SD claims to have diseases and issues SHE never heard of and she is in the medical field.
I believe most of SD's problems are in her head and that she fakes and uses them to get attention. What ever new conditoin comes down thepike SHE has it.
Yes!
Well played!
Lol how can "they" retire
Lol how can "they" retire early - "they" don't even work! Only the husband does! Stand your ground!
Twins
Your SD and mine, SD63, "The Grifter", must be twins! Grifter does the exact same thing! She comes over, supposedly to help, then groans and whines while she performs her organ recital. I cant keep it all straight, we have migraine, ulcers, back trouble, esophagus issues, anemia, heart, breast and dental problems. I'm probably forgetting some. She also has ongoing problems with all 3 of her kids.
Like your DH, mine is a softy who has enabled her for years because "poor Grifter", so unlucky and needy. She still hustles him for everything she can though like you, we are retired and living on a fixed income. She also seems to overlook the fact that he has 2 forms of cancer and oncoming dementia.
Sadly, I keep bringing up reality when she's here so that seems to shorten her visits when nobody is pitying her and offering endless emotional support.
It gets old.
Good you got her out
Without costing you $. Don't you have to first work to retire?
I love your tactic to get her
I love your tactic to get her to GIT.
My SIL (DW's sister) is a
My SIL (DW's sister) is a grifter as well. Since she was in her late teens she has been a sleazy scam and rip off artist. Then when she is on the verge of getting caught or her life imploding she goes into cutesy whiny crybaby voice mode about how special she is and how her kids about to starve and they (she and her DH) are about to lose everything.
Of course those who bite on the empathy and sympathy bait all circle the wagons and end up losing their shorts.
They had a major windfall about a couple of years ago. Her DH went to work for an employee owned company a decade+ ago. The company was bought by a large conglomerate and SIL's DH got a notable multiple $6-figure buy out from his share of the employee owned company accrued over his long service history. The new company invested heavily in him as he had started at the bottom entry level, worked his way up, and held just about every critical job in manufacturing, quality, shipping, training, and repair. After a couple of years with the new parent company he got his skivvies in a twist over them using him to lead and train new college graduates and walked out one day and never returned. He could only find a job making ~1/3 of his former income level. He is advancing at that company as he is intelligent and hard working. Though the same crap is starting. He is new, knows more, is better than.... and .... he is starting to be used to train the newer people and NCG hires in professional and mgt track positions. They had bought new vehicles, large toys (RV, etc..) wtih the buy out money and once again due to the much lower combined income, they are living paycheck to paycheck. They did take DW's advice and did not buy a new larger home and they did put about 1/3 of the buy out in an IRA. As usual when things go to shit for SIL she goes RADIO silent on anything meaningful and starts the whining bullshit. DW has a heart of ice on this crap and will not help. Of course I am team DW. At this point no one else will either since SIL has ripped nearly the entire family off for a shit ton of money and of course went all superiority complex with everyone over their stock buy out windfall.
The best thing anyone can do with these types is let them starve, let them get frost bite in the winter, and be thirsty and suffer heat stroke in the summer. For damned sure no one should waste a single Cent of them or facilitate their retirement or an improvement in their quality of life. Sadly this also the best thing for the children of these types to experience as well as this is likely the only way the kids may gain the lesson to not splash around in the shallow and polluted gene pool that these types of parents create for themselves and for their kids.
I know. Not a kind perspective but it is not infrequent that kindness is the worst thing to do for people who are serial manipulators and scam artists. They often see kindness as weakness and as a flashing neon sign clearly telling the scam artist "RIP MEEEEEE OFF!"
IMHO of course.
Canned response. "I'm sorry to hear that. Wanna see my incision scar?" Or even better. "We're sorry to hear that. We have a very expensive trip coming up and are not willing to help. Umm. No, you and your family cannot stay at our home. We have a security service who looks after out home when we are traveling. Wanna see our bank balance?"
Just kidding on the sharing the bank balance thing of course.
Yeah.. I'm sure that it was a
Yeah.. I'm sure that it was a sympathy call.. her own sympathy needs.. and hoping her daddy would pay their insurance so that they could be all retired and such.
Good on you for bringing up your own "aches and pains".. nothing like a little medicine of their own to take to see what their true colors were.