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a regular day for me but not DH

SeeYouNever's picture

Submitted by SeeYouNever on Sat, 06/29/2024 - 8:37pm

I waited some time to not dox anyone with accurate data but my SD recently had a birthday.

My DH tried several times to call her on her birthday and every time it went to VM. She replied very sweet and graciously to texts, even though calling her right after a thank you text went right to VM.

My DH is obviously upset to be entirely shut out of SDs birthday. We didn't expect to be invited to the gala (and it was a GALA) but to not answer or return calls/texts was not expected because my SD is generally polite.

My DH said we should start a countdown to the end of CS and then vented about how bad his marriage was to BM and how unhappy he was.

I hate how affected our lives are by SD and BM on a day that is essentially meaningless to us. On the other hand I understand why it's hard for my DH on SDs birthday.

 

Comments

Lillywy00's picture

Submitted by Lillywy00 on Sun, 06/30/2024 - 8:22pm

That's unreal. 
 

Well he did his part so that's all he can do. 

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Sun, 06/30/2024 - 2:53am

Mission complete.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sun, 06/30/2024 - 3:00am

I get the irritation of rewinding on the pain of a shit marriage. I do it upon occassion myself. 

Though mine is mostly to gloat on the shit puddle life my XW has lived while I have had an incredible life and 30  year marriage to an amazing person.

My XW was very holier than thou when she left me for the geriatric fortune 500 executive sugar/baby daddy.  He was pushing 30 years her elder and had led a large international subsidiary of a big blue chip stock company.  I had grow up as a 3ck internationally. She thought it would bother me that she was spending time with people who had lived and worked overseas so she spoke often about how mature her life was socializing with international professionals, etc... Yawn.  She finished her BSN a month before she walked out of our last couples therapy session. She had never been anywhere.

She still has never been anywhere. Without me writing her research papers she ended up quiting grad school and never completed her MSN.  She also failed to recognize that she was grandpa sugar/baby daddy's girl toy.  I have little doubt that his mature international executive colleagues, some who were women, figured her as little more than his young double breasted brown headed knob gobbler.

3.5 years after the divorce I finished my under grad in engineering. DW and I married nearly 4 years to the day after my divorce was final.

10 after the divorce was final I did finish grad school, noone was writting my capstone papers or any other papers.  DW did as well.  We lived nearly a decade overseas in 3 different countries and traveled the world.  I have an increcible bride who is radiant and sparklingly happy and positive. My XW was anything but.  She was a beautiful university athelete but she was gloomy and morose. Her llive has manifested from that.

I would advise DH to focus on his incredible life with you and gloat his ass off over the trash life that his XW is clearly living. People who spread that level of misery live nothing but trash lives.

Drinks

Dirol

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Sun, 06/30/2024 - 8:58am

Is teaching DH a lesson.  He did not go to her party thrown by BM. So they cut him out.  He didn't play by BM rules.  what's the frase go to jail d9 not pass go.   
Face the fact. BM is calling the shots , thying to control your life's.  Maybe in a few years when SD is on her own.[ away from BM] You can have a relationship with her.  Just make sure CS ends A.S.A.P.  I would hate to pat CS to and disrespectful kid.

SeeYouNever's picture

Submitted by SeeYouNever on Sun, 06/30/2024 - 9:33am

DH and I have been discussing SDs college. She is getting DHs GI bill and to coordinate everything and get the best benefits she will have to talk to DH. I've told him he needs to get the communication line open before college planning starts.

 

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Sun, 06/30/2024 - 2:21pm

See " just making the best's" blog.  They were completely cut off and PASed out from their skid but expected to fork over for college through the GI Bill.

MorningMia's picture

Submitted by MorningMia on Sun, 06/30/2024 - 5:05pm

That happened here, too, re: VA health insurance and some college costs after SD hadn't spoken to DH in 2 years. What BS. 
I wouldn't push for communication about college plans. I'd let them sweat it. 

AgedOut's picture

Submitted by AgedOut on Mon, 07/01/2024 - 6:02am

I think he should wait them out when it comes to her using his benefits. She'll rediscover her need for her dad when she wants something but I also feel at this point he shouldn't go above and beyond. She's old enough to know what she's doing, she's old enough to learn a valuable life lesson about biting and hands that hold food/cash.