I'm actually against ghosting him altogether. Only because you're good person, and in my opinion good people don't do that to someone else. Barring safety concerns, of course! I would compose a very short and direct message: "this relationship was not working for me and I do not care to try to salvage it. I've taken only what belonged to me, I left the ring in such and such place. Please do not contact me. I wish you the best." And send it when you know he's off work, then block him.
I generally agree about ghosting except in situations where there has been abuse. Since she has described some scary abusive situations, like him sitting on top of her, I would totally understand if it's too much emotionally and mentally to have one more conversation with him.
It doesn't matter whether you say anything or stay silent. He's going to freak out and turn you into the villain. Do what's best for your mental health. If you decide to tell him, block him on your phone the second after you send the message.
There is nothing wrong with not saying anything if that's what's best for you.
What ever You consider that to be. If you think he will be worried about you if you go no contact, let him know you are safe. Hopefully you took a photo of the ring and where it was so that you can point it out to him if he asks. So he cannot play that you took it.
I'm sure there's bound to be some drama generated by him another vote for don't say anything.
I am sure they'll be another country song written about it "my woman up and left me with no warning and I don't know why" ( actually they know they're being rotten to us)
I'm so happy for you! Best wishes on your new (and I hope far happier) adventure!
I agree with others. You are the best judge of what's best for you and what you can live with. In situations like this, it's usually best not to get sucked into a conversation. But sending the text and then hitting block would be a good option for letting him know but avoiding any discussion.
You could always choose to reach out later if you prefer. On a day when you're calm you can compose your thoughts if there's anything you feel should be said or explained and send it to him. It doesn't necessarily have to be today or never.
Lilly, I also support Felicity’s sound advice. From your past blogs, it’s clear that ‘the dude’ is wearing blinders as to his behaviour toward you. He has no idea that you were getting ready to bail and will be devastated.
Sending a brief text, stating the bare facts i.e. you were unhappy, the relationship was wrong for both of you and that you are each free to find a partner more suitable, is the moral thing to do. You’re a good gal and I believe that your mind would rest easier if you gave the ex a heads up.
I am sorry for you to leave someone you loved. You two just have different life's to live. He has his kids, you want a close relationship. What can you say mwhat you already said. He can't change his living status, he can't lose his kids or BM. Just leave it alone. Do you want to hear all the crying and begging? Give it time
Congratulations, Lillywy00! You made moves that many of us on here wish we could make too! I wish you all the best in your new drama-free/step-kid free chapter of your life!
Comments
I left
I left for good
and I'm never going back
I hope you stick around and
I hope you stick around and share your new chapter with us.
Should I tell him now or wait
Should I tell him now or wait until he's off work?
I guess it depends on if you
I guess it depends on if you want to deal with another conversation or if you want to just be done and block. Do what is true to you
glad you are safe
I'm actually against ghosting
I'm actually against ghosting him altogether. Only because you're good person, and in my opinion good people don't do that to someone else. Barring safety concerns, of course! I would compose a very short and direct message: "this relationship was not working for me and I do not care to try to salvage it. I've taken only what belonged to me, I left the ring in such and such place. Please do not contact me. I wish you the best." And send it when you know he's off work, then block him.
I generally agree about
I generally agree about ghosting except in situations where there has been abuse. Since she has described some scary abusive situations, like him sitting on top of her, I would totally understand if it's too much emotionally and mentally to have one more conversation with him.
I would attempt a civil
I would attempt a civil discussion...he may be concerned about your welfare. If it turns nasty hang up and block.
It doesn't matter whether you
It doesn't matter whether you say anything or stay silent. He's going to freak out and turn you into the villain. Do what's best for your mental health. If you decide to tell him, block him on your phone the second after you send the message.
There is nothing wrong with not saying anything if that's what's best for you.
Do the right thing...
What ever You consider that to be. If you think he will be worried about you if you go no contact, let him know you are safe. Hopefully you took a photo of the ring and where it was so that you can point it out to him if he asks. So he cannot play that you took it.
YAY!!!! SO GLAD!!!!
Keep us posted.
Ugh I didn't think to take a
Ugh I didn't think to take a photo.
I did leave it as you all suggested
I still have it insured but I'm not trying to risk my reputation filing false claims
He better not play about that.
Yes!
Congrats on your new life!
You do what's best for you. My suggestion, if you feel the need to not ghost, use Felicity's suggestion as your model to reply.
So happy for you!!!
Kudos!
I'm sure there's bound to be some drama generated by him another vote for don't say anything.
I am sure they'll be another country song written about it "my woman up and left me with no warning and I don't know why" ( actually they know they're being rotten to us)
I'm so happy for you! Best
I'm so happy for you! Best wishes on your new (and I hope far happier) adventure!
I agree with others. You are the best judge of what's best for you and what you can live with. In situations like this, it's usually best not to get sucked into a conversation. But sending the text and then hitting block would be a good option for letting him know but avoiding any discussion.
You could always choose to
You could always choose to reach out later if you prefer. On a day when you're calm you can compose your thoughts if there's anything you feel should be said or explained and send it to him. It doesn't necessarily have to be today or never.
Lilly, I also support
Lilly, I also support Felicity’s sound advice. From your past blogs, it’s clear that ‘the dude’ is wearing blinders as to his behaviour toward you. He has no idea that you were getting ready to bail and will be devastated.
Sending a brief text, stating the bare facts i.e. you were unhappy, the relationship was wrong for both of you and that you are each free to find a partner more suitable, is the moral thing to do. You’re a good gal and I believe that your mind would rest easier if you gave the ex a heads up.
Congratulations Lilly.
Take care of you, protect yourself to the fullest extent of the law, finacially, and socially.
Please keep us updated.
Sincere regards,
Rags
Congrats! Do whatever feels
Congrats! Do whatever feels safest for you.
Woo Hoo! Happy Dance!!!
Been WAITING for this update!! Lilly, you ROCK!!
Protect yourself
Physical safety. People do crazy things during breakups.
Congrats Lilly, protect
Congrats Lilly, protect yourself and your daughter. Wishing you best of luck in your new life!
Congratulations on your new life
I am sorry for you to leave someone you loved. You two just have different life's to live. He has his kids, you want a close relationship. What can you say mwhat you already said. He can't change his living status, he can't lose his kids or BM. Just leave it alone. Do you want to hear all the crying and begging? Give it time
Congratulations, Lillywy00!
Congratulations, Lillywy00! You made moves that many of us on here wish we could make too! I wish you all the best in your new drama-free/step-kid free chapter of your life!