Can't take the smell anymore!!
Just needing to vent! I have written about it before but looking for tips or just overall humor to lighten my disqust and anger. This kid's (SS10) room smells soooo bad. It's disgusting. I walked out of my room into the hallway (2nd story) and the smell took over the whole upstairs as his bedroom door was open. Normally I shut his door or ask him to because its been a lost cause. It always smells. We've found old moldy sports bottles with nasty things growing inside, candy wrappers, cups, clothes thrown all over the floor. It's a never ending battle. Now I understand he's going through puberty but this kid barely washes himself and I still don't think he washes well as he still stinks. Even his clothes stink after washing and I've watched him pour detergent. One time I almost vomited pulling his clothes out of the Dryer to put mine in it smelled so bad. How is that possible?? I've brought up to DH numerous times and there's a small discussion, SS washes all clothes, bedding,cleans room, etc. But it still smells and I swear it's in the carpet and walls now. OD 4 room is right next to his and I smell it sometimes even through the vents. I asked DH to shampoo the carpets, we will see. Its been since May this year and not once. He did promise to hire a cleaning lady but we've had unexpected costs with the house since moving. I refuse to do it. And yes, I know DH needs to step up and be a parent and either make SS clean up or do it himself but that's a slim chance. It was the same at last house. I'm at the point where I need tips on masking the smell. I asked DH to get a closing laundry basket and I plan to buy deodorizer and air fresheners to litter through the room and laundry basket. I don't know what else to do other than leave. Which I've considered. It will never change.... again mainly just venting. This kid can't even put a cereal bowl in the dishwasher. I was petty and saw it in sink with milk still in it and put it back on his seat of table multiple times. He put back in sink 3x today without rinsing!!! I called him out and the same response... I forgot...3x?! Okay. That's just 1 example. It's tiresome. It's gross. Ugh, anyway thanks for listening. This is my only place to vent.
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Strip his room and only give
Strip his room and only give him the bare necessities to live with. He obviously can't handle have a room full of stuff so take it all away. He needs a bed, a small amount of clothes. Serve him with disposable dishes. As for the laundry, put white vinegar in the fabric softener dispenser. I use it in every load and have for years. I learned about it when I had cloth diapers for my oldest 31 months years ago.
As for DH, cut him off from all adult activities until he parents SS. I'd raise holy hell about this and make it more painful to piss me off then skip out on parenting. You are the only one who can bring clarity to him. Do it. Your investment is being damaged by SS stinking up the house. That's just wrong.
If only...
All GREAT suggestions!! DH would never ever ever allow that. He has treated SS like a baby since birth. The kid can pretty much do no wrong and blames it on puberty and laundry. I have no idea how he can't stand the smell. I'm just a nag. It usually ends in him pointing out all the things my BD11 does that annoys him. She has her own issues but not to that extent. He would never take anything away from that kid. He really just needs a backbone. Taking away the adult activities is a good idea. We don't have too much anyway lately, too many arguments. Usually about the kids!! But I am just over it at this point. I am surprised we sold the last house the way his room smelled but there was no carpet so that helped.
I will however try the vinegar. Don't know why I didn't think of that before!! Thank you soooo much. Appreciate the advice.
Put the solution on daddy. Make your SO supervise his showers.
Daddy should put the stanky spawn in swim trunks and keep him under the dad hairy eyeball while the kid bathes. If necessary, dad should scrub him... firmly. Everywhere but his junk and even with that dad should douse the inside his swim trunks front and back and require StankySpawn to scrub for a notable period of time.
Lather, rinse, repeat.... literally each day that Stanky is in your home. Dad also needs to mandate and observe that Stanky puts on nose verified clean clothes.
If it does not improve, banish stanky to the back yard with Dawn dishwashing soap and have daddy hose him down and scrup him off with a stiff long handled scrub brush.
Odiferous emanations cannot be tolerated. They are disrespectful to others in the home, they are unhealthy not only for the StankySpawn but also for others in the home.
If daddy won't solve it, throw the kids clothes and bedding in the garbage, buy on set of clothing and a bathrobe, have the kid wash the clothing every evening not allowing the build up of stench and grime. Do not replace the bedding, put a plastic cover on bed he pollutes, and buy a cheap blanket for him each time he visits. Throw it away when he leaves.
Nasty cannot be tolerated.
Inform SO that either he fixes it or they are both gone.
The laugh I needed!!
Just what a needed a good laugh. All great ideas that I only DREAM would happen. DH would never. I did forget to mention we have SS full time. BM abandoned him about 4 years ago. So he stinks up the house, everywhere, 24/7! I am truly shocked the school hasn't said anything. I know he must reek at school. I've had to roll down windows in my own car many times.
I will admit I have thrown dirty socks away before that are just left on the floor. I have truly considered throwing away other items that reek to save my laundry machines the pointless trouble. I will be imagining the dish soap hosedown in the backyard for now.... thank you!!!
If the child
Has already developed body odour, you won't get that out of clothes. Bin them and start again, with a strict washing routine and child friendly deodorant.
If the smell is that bad. It's gotta be your house your rules ! Go in every day turf it over and make ss remove and clean the whole room. Puberty is not an excuse
Definitely not an excuse. It
Definitely not an excuse. It just means you have to be more vigilant about cleaning!
Agreed.
I've been trying my best to keep on him with cleaning and washing. It would be nice if DH showed an ounce of effort.
I feel your pain. Stinky step
I feel your pain. Stinky step kids are awful! SS12 is with us every other week and every time we pick him up from BM's, we have to roll down the windows. No soft things are allowed to come to our house and DH does a smell check on anything that does come over. Anything that stinks spends the week in the garage. BM has a multitude of animals and that seems to be part of our problem. But I'm sure he reeks when he goes to school from her house.
In our case, SS has now discovered body spray -- which he apparently bathed in multiple times a day. Different kind of stink. DH is dealing with it.
His room smells like that crap now. But we have had the overbearing urine stench (from not leaving his video game and then cleaning up the mess with a bath towel -- which he left on the floor) and pet smell (from things he tried to sneak over from BM's).
I'm fortunate in that DH has an incredibly sensitive nose and will NOT tolerate stink. I'm sorry yours doesn't have your back on this because it literally stinks having to deal with it!
Wow
Omg I can't believe the urine mess!! We had a similar problem with him peeing the bed almost every night and peeing his clothes and not saying anything and the stench would be awful!! Finally he stopped bedwetting around 7.
Normally DH has a sensitive nose to everything else that smells but his son. I think he just either got used to the smell, how I don't know, or he just blames it on puberty and doesn't care.
The body spray! Oh boy lol I am somewhat looking forward to it to mask the smell but also not because it can be intense lol
Part of the stench is related
Part of the stench is related to BM's cats -- and DH is highly allergic. So, he has extra incentive to deal with it.
This is because DH is a bad father
He not parenting him. That the hard part. DH should get garbage bags go into SS room with SS. And throw out..wash.. then clean. Kids this age normally find out about the opposite sex. That being with a female is fun. And normally don't want to smell. Nothing saids I love you, as a smelly person.
But this is DH. DS.. Hthevonr to step up. How can he live like this is the better question. He never goes into SS Room? The smell doesn't into the AC vents. ?
100%
I agree. He clearly doesn't care and it must not bother him too bad to do anything or he just blames it on puberty. Which is something he has said before and "sports"... like okay that is NOT because of that. It's also being filthy and not showering or picking up after yourself. I wish he would just toss everything. The smell does come through our youngest vents that is right next to his room. I am sure it's a matter of time before it spreads.
This is because DH is a bad father
He not parenting him. That the hard part. DH should get garbage bags go into SS room with SS. And throw out..wash.. then clean. Kids this age normally find out about the opposite sex. That being with a female is fun. And normally don't want to smell. Nothing saids I love you, as a smelly person.
But this is DH. DS.. Hthevonr to step up. How can he live like this is the better question. He never goes into SS Room? The smell doesn't into the AC vents. ?
Antibacterial Soap
You might want to try Dettol. My mom would threaten to have my younger sister use it when she would smell. I'm sure it's on Amazon. https://www.dettol.co.uk/personal-hygiene/bar-soaps/dettol-original-bar-...
Oh thank you I will give that
Oh thank you I will give that a try!
Been through this with my OSD
Been through this with my OSD. You can read my past blogs about it. My DH, like yours, never corrected or had basic living boundaries for SDs and OSD took advantage.
Smelly kid: I refused to ride in a car with her, butvwhen unavoidable, would do so only with no closed windows even in winter. I told DH exactly why...she smells. I refused to attend any public event/outing unless she had bathed, washed hair and put on clean clothes. All this worked and it was almost resolved when DH was stuck in a car alone with her and the stench overwhelmed him. But his requirements for bathing unfortunately didn't last. I'll never forget when she walked past me in the kitchen one morning (13 yo) and I almost gagged she smelled so so bad.
The Room. I gave DH three clear and firm chances to get her room cleaned as I could smell it with the door closed. Nothing happens. On my last deadline, when she left I trash bagged everything not in place or not cleaned up. Everything. Bags were put into the garage for them to sort though (six). Joke on me is that he never followed through add she started just using those bags as her storage, rummaging through when she needed something. So then I again gave DH a warning to properly go through them with her. Nope. I think he did some laundry FOR her even. So I trashed and donated at that point. Of course her room became a nest again so I repeated. I had no guilt. I told DH she lives in OUR home and it effects other people. And if we gat any infestation it's 100% on him to deal with. And there was a discussion on messy vs. filthy. Some people don't understand the difference. Messy is ok. Filthy with old stained moldy clothes, towels, moldy food and containers, sheets unwashed for Months at a time and gray with body build up is not ok.
Note that you need to throw away socks, underwear, any poly blend shirts and shorts...the smell will not come out. He needs to be bathing regularly on top of it or it's a losing battle for you. Any food remains must be taken out.
There are odor absorbers that work great and are super affordable too. Highly recommend.
Wow
I will definitely check out your past blogs. It's nice to know ow I'm not alone as awful as it is. Yeah, that might be the next step. Trash bags!! So over it. The kid couldn't fi ish his laundry and is now rewarded with a sleepover at a friends...friend's.... DH now said he will do it. As long as it gets done I guess... thanks for the advice. I'm hoping the odor absorbers will make it livable.
Has the school complained
Has the school complained about his hygiene?
Not yet
Not yet! I am actually very surprised. Some days are better than others and depends on whether he has showered or re-wearing the same stinky clothes amd when you get close enough to him or in a car so there have to be students that sit next to him that smell it... I have no idea. It's not always gag worthy bad so I assume it's not "bad enough" plus it doesn't smell like urine or anything just really bad body odor so maybe they haven't said anything due to the puberty age.... I wish they would.
Gosh, I feel you!
Sorry you have to go through this disgusting issue! My ss is the same! There has been trips where we were all the in car and he lifted his arms-then we all got to "enjoy" his BO. He also peed in bottles and kept those bottles in his room. He is 16.
i don't even want to mention how many times I still have to tell him he needs to use soap. Others already gave you good suggestions so I'm just gonna restate I really feel your pain...
Omg
Pee bottles?! That's so gross. Yeah it's pretty awful. Just wish the SO cared as much as we do about the stench of their own children. Ugh...