One breath at a time.
Just wanted to share my update, things have been better and worse. My husband and I have been communicating on a deeper level and making progress in ways we've never experienced before. This has allowed us to be a parenting team. My hope for us is restored! It was really just figuring out our roles and being respectful to each other's boundaries. It would be even more helpful if he communicated his needs more clearly, but we will get there, we are getting there.
Husband's ex wife/bio mom on the other hand has been in a narcissistic rage. They went back to court one year post the last court ruling. She didn't take the parenting class or attend therapy like the judge required both parents to do and the decision for my husband to maintain 90% custody was made. There have been a lot of incidents of domestic violence, finally CPS raised an eyebrow after a surprise visit to her house finding her drunk and her 8year old son home when he's supposed to be at school (she hasn't been taking him to school for days). CPS spoke with my step daughters and they told CPS about their mom neglecting their basic needs, a clean home (dog poo smeared on the floor and carpet), no food, no working fridge, no love and also drinking alcohol and behaving violently, to the point that the 14yo called 911. Since the judge's decision the bio mom has been taking things from the kids, like their rooms, saying that they won't need them since they no longer live there. She tried to commit suicide in front of the 8yo son and that's when CPS took him. She hasn't been trying to talk to her daughters (narcissistic detachment) or see them since CPS has been involved (for the best). According to CPS she STILL can't see why she cannot have her kids. Surprisingly the step kids are coping well. Our relationship has been so so so much better. Also, the ex's sister validated the parental alienation that was damaging the relationship between me and the stepkids.
We are just being a stable home and understanding to the kids needs and feelings about their half brother being in foster care (we tried to take him in but.... that's another story).
Not excited about more court but hoping my husband gets full custody (best for kids).
I know things are temporary but I'm looking at this as a new slate, to be a better mom, wife and stepmom. I feel like I can finally breathe!
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Hoping for the best
I read back thru your blogs, you've really been on a journey. But it sounds like you and DH are on the same page now. BM should definitely not have any custody, it's not safe for the kids. Hoping for the best outcome for all of you.
Damn, that's a lot. Stay
Damn, that's a lot. Stay strong!
So happy that the kids are in a far safer place. All of them.
We too offered to take custody of SS's three younger also out of wedlock half sibs by two other baby mamas. Of course that went over like a fart in Church and SpermGrandHag got all offended, etc...
SpermGrandHag had been ranting to SS about how it wasn't fair that he had nice clothes, lived in a nice home, went on nice vacations, etc... and his three younger Spermidiot spawned half sibs did not. SS would come home upset about it all. So, we asked him if he would like for his mom and I do offer for his half sibs to live with us. He was iffy about it because he recognized and appreciated the peaceful life and home the three of us had but decided it would be worth a try.
SpermGrandHag lost her already batshit crazy Hag mind, got all offended, and went even more toxic Hag screaming banshee than usual.
Meanwhile back at the RagsRanch and 20-ish years later... SS-31 is a viable high performing adult, a man of honor and character, and a man of standing in his profession and community. Spermidiot Spawn #2 is a Dole queen, Spermidiot Spawn #3 is a convicted felon serving a long prison sentence, and Spermidiot Spawn #4 is not far behind the inmate.
Take care of your SKid. If you can make getting Skid's half sib, great. If not, sad through it may be, that is not on you.
This woman needs real help
CPS Try's not to take kids away from there mother. There's the cost. CPS has a budget. They can only spend X Amount of $ per year. So the worst are taken and once $ run out. All are on there own.