Well, my second divorce, while not skid related I did prepare in advance. I paid off all debts, started saving, started purchasing household items I knew I would need and stashing them. I started detaching myself from any joint accounts, opened my own checking and savings account. Did research on areas I wanted to live and compared to see what I could afford. That's how I prepared.

I'm in this phase as well. I am paying off my credit card debt and selling off as much "stuff" that I don't need as I can so I don't have as much to move. I am kind of in a time line as I anticipate things getting work when my husband's son come to live in the same town in 2 years. It's a bit easier for me because his kids are grown and my 19 year-old daughter lives with us. She's ready to leave any day. We already have separate finances. The problem is the house.  Will talk to a lawyer as the time gets closer. All I can advise is lighten your load. I think preparing in advance is a much better plan than sudden decisions. Good Luck and Best Wishes. 

If you want to do it right, do not let Anyone in on your plan.  Not even your BD.  This is hard to do since sometimes you need cover at the final stages.

Ten years ago, I had a post divorce BF living with me, and I discovered he was cheating with a colleague.  Instead of fighting about it, I was so fed up I just calmly resolved to line up my plans over the course of two weeks.  He was with a real nut job and I knew she had thoughts of inhabiting my house and basically taking my place.  He had led her to believe he had equity in the house, which he didn't.  She even slept at my house when I was away on business!  This all came out when my neighbour finally got tired of seeing the double crossing and spilled the beans to me.
 

  I had plenty of money to execute the plan, so,I was able to arrange a place to go and move a lot of stuff while he was out.  We weren't married and so there were no financial complications.  On the final day, I just 'borrowed' his key to the house on the excuse of getting a copy made, and then was gone by the time he tried to come home.  I texted him once I had moved out and told him the house was on the market and not to bother coming home.  I put a lot of his stuff in the charity bin up the street and left the rest in black bags outside.  He took an absolute hissy fit and went through all the stages of love bombing, begging, accusing, threatening etc. When he realised he was finished, he would have stalked me, thus my reasoning for moving to a secure place where I could live in peace.  You need to meticulously plan any departure so as to avoid any arguing/or risk of physical harm.  Even the nicest people get violent when they are cornered.  Don't put yourself at risk.

I often look back and wonder where I mustered the energy and resolve, but smile to myself when I conclude I did the right thing.  I've never seen them since, although I do keep tabs on them.

My first marriage was doomed from the night of the wedding. It just went down hill from there.  I wasted 2.5 years of my life on that adulterous skank whore.

Good riddance to her departure.  That marriage took an enormous toll on me. It took a number of years for me to fully regain touch with the person I like being.

The good news, there is life after a failed marriage. And it can be an amazing life with an amazing equity life partnership that takes you to all new adventures with a great partner.

As for planning the divorce. I did not plan a thing. She did though.  Basically all I did was mitigate any crap she attempted directly and as simply as possible. She and her father packed her stuff and moved it, I had the locks re-keyed. The locksmith was driving up the street as they drove away.  When she attempted to re-enter the home we had purchased two months before she left me for her geriatric Fortune 500 executive Sugar/Baby daddy, her keys did not work and her ass stayed on the porch.  She kept claiming to have forgotten things. Nope, you moved out, you took furniture, clothes, appliances, etc.... what you left was all mine. 

Good thing too, because she left her diary which had a detailed record of her extramarital dalliances, and she left all of her University records, papers, etc...  Every paper was written by me over 3+ years.  Those went over like a fart in Church when she tried to renege on the separation of assets that she had proposed.  Nope, no change or you can enjoy a life with a degree that the university revokes for academic dishonesty.   Even her attorney told her what I was telling her.

Had I known then what I know now, I would have planned the divorce in detail and initiated upon return from the honeymoon, if not the day after the wedding.

Do not wait for years. Act now.

Enjoy your new life adventure.

Definitely in the same boat as you and it is completely skid related.  SS14 is manipulative and it's only getting worse as he gets older.  He claimed his stepdad abused him so he lives with us full time.  Now he's saying he doesn't want to be alone with me and would rather be with his stepdad than me.  Well, then have at it.  DH won't sit down to have a conversation because it turns into an arguement so he chooses to ignore it.  He chooses to ignore everything.  He keeps the kids just because he can say they live with him full time and for the past two years both SD12 and SS14 have been living with us but all of the childcare, food, clothes fell on me because of my husbands schedule and then the skids started acting off.  I chose to disengage after another tantrum by SS14.  I would walk away right now, but I have three dogs and one is almost 16.  I'm not moving them out of their house and big fenced in yard and dog door.  And I can't take three dogs to an apartment.  My only child is 18 and away at college (only 45 minutes) so I wouldn't leave the area either and definitely would just rent instead of buying.  But we are in the middle of redoing the house...windows, new garage door, new concrete work, new brick work so we're kind of stuck at the moment.  He knows things aren't great and he knows I didn't cause it, what he wants me to do is just be okay with how kids are towards me (disrespectful, rude, won't listen when I ask them to do something like bring their garbage down), but he's also chose to not try to address the problem or fix it and his only excuse is he doesn't know what to do.  His answer to everything is "I don't know."  Which is the same answer his kids give. 

I opted to not take his kids to school anymore and then came back and said I would offer two to three days a week  but he needs to set a schedule with their mom.  He hasn't and he won't.  Last night at dinner I asked SS14 if he was okay riding with me to take him to school. He shook his head yes because he doesn't actually speak and I said okay.  After dinner DH told me I was rude for asking that.  He literally will not speak to his kids about the hard things.  They have zero relationship with their dad or anyone for that matter.  They don't have chores.  They don't get discplined for things like writing on their furniture, talking to strangers online....and before I was the one who caught it all and would have him address it. 

So here we are.  I want to leave.  I'm stuck though.  Literally stuck until my old dog passes away.  I have nowhere to take three dogs but I can take two and I'm not leaving them behind with these people. When I go out of town I have to remind him to give the dogs water and medicine.  

I get it 100%. Mine was 16 and I'd already filed & had now-ex move out. I was WFH and his new apartment didn't allow dogs plus his job was on-site, 12-hour shifts & the dog couldn't be alone. So I couldn't have him 100% out of my life until the dog passed plus it was his dog & the dog loved him. 

One week after we said goodbye to that dog, I hung up on now-exh while he was yelling at me, blocked him & his fam, and had my divorce attorney advise ex that all communicatuon was to go through my attorney. 

It's been so peaceful ever since.