It is about time....!!!!!
This weekend...this weekend SD is MOVING TO COLLEGE!!! Everyone raise a glass and join me Saturday night in toasting to a more stress free life. Since she hasn't been coming to our home so much over the past few months - since she is soooooo busy saying goodbye to everyone and "packing for college" (that has takens months- btw)- my health has improved so much.
Had the opportunity to speak to her a few weeks ago- alone- and I asked her why she has done the things the has done to me. Her response...."becuse it was fun". I asked her how she would feel if someone tried to ruin her relationship with her boyfriend with the same means that she has tried to ruin my marriage. Then how she would feel towards that person. Then asked her how her mom would feel. She told me her mom is "seeing somone" and her mom has "matured". To which I said " no, she is just putting her best foot forward- because for the past several months the two of you have really amped up the drama here". BTW- they invited my husband to stat with them (the ex and SD) at an Airbnb during move in weekend. Like WTH- just to cause an issue here. I got to say a lot that needed to be said and told her she could either be welcome here or not. I feel better...but, still don't trust her at all due to the history and how she currently behaves. Unfortunaltly, she has learned how to be the person she is from her BM and that will not change.
Stay strong everyone!! Eventually they do move on to start their own lives! Set those boundaries right before the go! Did the same with my husband and told him that I will not settle for the bs.
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May I Add One Thing?
Don't let your guard down. Turning 18 and moving out does not always equate a drama-free step life. While it does lessen, especially if they were full-time living with you guys, there will most likely be "pop up" drama. Set your boundaries, keep a watchful eye and stand strong.
Ask me how I know. DHs kids are 28, 30, 40, 42, 44. The 30 and 40 year old showed up at our home a few months back and started drama, which got both of them "kicked off" our property. Add to the mix, I hadn't seen the 40 year old in 5 years and the 30 year old in near 10 years. SMH
Yes, you may...
Thank you! I agree 100%!! Will never let my guard down. Yesterday, my husband told me that the ex wanted him to pay for college and she would pay for sorority and law school. My husband doesn't really think ahead with these things-so, I reminded him that she may not go to law school and if they each pay half of the tuition then they could both contribute IF she makes it to law school. Sorority is a luxury in my opiinion and most kids can't afford it. Paying for college isn't required and dues for greek life are definately not required.
In regards to the drama- it happens all the time and it is expected. Sorry that you are still dealing with it. At least it is so infrequent now-which I can handle. The every other weekend drama was literally killing me. Stress is so terrible on your body.
Stress
I am doing some new therapies, and its really helping to create/enforce boundaries, as well as work on NOT taking other peoples chit on for myself.
Toasting to you - and would encourage you to continue informaing and reminding - these people will need lots of reminders of how things will go and absolutely no paying fully - go halves now, because no guarantee of any post college work.
Good luck SD... and good riddance.
Though based on BM's crap example and SD's past behaviors I forecast no degree completion, a college pregnancy (or three), and crying then manipulation for Daddy and Pushedpastmylimit $$,
Enjoy the toxic spawn free toasts upon her departure. Enjoy living your best lives while she likely crashes and burns in hers. Just like mommy.
Having fun torturing you, makes this kid's financial support go to and stay at $0.00 the second she ages out from under the CO.
Your DH should be the one sending this message and keeping it front and center with his toxic spawn.
Change the locks, convert
Change the locks, convert their room into a maintenance closet or whatever, and under no circumstances (unless they're bleeding out on the front doorsteps) will they be let back in (this is what I would do lol)
"Because it was fun"
That one really got to me. Im glad that you were able to clear things and speak your mind. I was happy to do so with Feral Forger also.
She ENJOYED being mean. Thats the same with Feral Forger.
Thank you....
You know that Feral Forger and my SD are sad little people. The drama and chaos comes from insecure BM's and insecure SD. She will never get to me again....ever. Yes, she did enjoy being mean and trying to inflict damage. You can't hurt someone who is indeffirent. Best wishes to you too.