How to not escalate
It has been awhile since my first and last post on ths site. My youngest stepson graduated from college and did not send me a ticket until my husband insisted. I did get a ticket and actually had a great time but I was extremely upset after all these years being in the family and being "forgotten. My husband felt it was a legitimate case of forgetfulness, but I did not. Earlier in the month my stepson tried to start a conversation how tickets were for "family only." Then I received no ticket.
I would like to learn how not to escalate these type of issues. I was very hurt and felt it was one more snub in a long list of snubs. I said some unkind things to my husband and had to take a long walk to calm down. I worry that this is the beginning of being left out of important activities like weddings. Any help would be appreciated.
Frustration occassionally drives some unkind words.
It happens in every relationship to some degree.
Decompress, re-engage. If you are sincere and DH is of character, it will be fine.
I have had to do just this a number of times in our marriage. As has my bride.
Yes to this
Thanks for reminding me that my DH does have a good character. After all, he did make sure I received a ticket, though it was not done how I would do it.
There is no way on earth
That SS forgot to send you a ticket. DH did the right thing. Stand up for you, his new family. Just never forget this. Some day you will shoe SS he not part of your family anymore
That's what I think
Sometimes reality becomes skewed with the goings on of these skids. I do have to remember that DH did the right thing even if he did wear rose colored glasses.
If this is a snub, in a list
If this is a snub, in a list of a number of snubs, then move on. Disengage. Become resilient and ignore it. I would reframe this as well so you can persevere and succeed: This is not a loss. This is learned knowledge and gained skills in resiliency, etc. to live your best life. They do not deserve you, your efforts, nor your energy.
Absolutely
I have been working on resiliency. It seems to work until it doesn't. I keep thinking that after 8 years there will be some degree of acceptance, so it has started catching me off guard now that we are farther down the road.
People underestimate the
People underestimate the importance of resilience. I'm glad you work on it. When you succeed at it, you win your best self.
Sometimes we need a tune up. That's all. Don't be so hard on yourself.
Snubbey snubberson
SD24 Feral Forger did that to me for her high school graduation. Thank goodness I dont ever have to worry about her graduating college!
She only got "a limited number" because so many graduates. Those tix went to mom, dad, sister, auntie 1&2, favorite cousins 1&2.
Husband told her "get clove a tix or Im not going". She did. I was hoping that I could skate out of it. so I took 1/2 day unpaid off work, spent 3 hours on a hard bench in hot sun without water. She dissappeared after a photo. No appreciation for me being there I was there to support husband.
I like the nickname for your skid.
It's really very tiring. I always have hope. I need to stop expecting anything of them, even politeness.
Book a spa day
I live in a very nice area with lots to do.