Sh*tty birthday gifts Beaver edition...

Beaver is notorious for her sh*tty gift giving. Lets see...

DH when married to her got a food dehydrator for christmas...he didn't ask for one and doesn't eat dehydrated food.

DH also go a boat load of sweaters from Beaver for Christmas..he wears shorts in the middle of winter...sweaters are NEVER part of his attire. Not even when we go sledding or skiing.

SD has gotten over the years.

A typewriter that doesn't work

A sled to share with her brother..that was her ONLY christmas gift.

A difusser blow dryer...SD has poker straight hair.

This year...Beaver got SD for her birthday....A stun gun and pepper spray. SD is 17.....doesn't drive a car yet and doesn't really go anywhere. SD also doesn't carry a purse or anything so not sure what she would even put these into to carry.

OKkkkkaaaayyy....

Also to note..the state we are in considers both to be deadly weapons and a minor cannot posses them. They are also illegal to take to school....

I swear..I cannot make this stuff up. Oh and what SD asked for was a pair of shoes....how shoes got translated into stun gun and pepper spray not sure.

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Wait, wait, wait! I think I

Wait, wait, wait! I think I can figure this one out.

Shoes = being able to run away from a threat. If SD had pepper spray and a stun, she could use those on the threat, and not need to run away. Ergo, SD doesn't need shoes!!!

I can't believe you don't see the connection, halo.

Yea..didn't see that connection. LOL

SMH....just can't seem to fathom why Beaver thought this would be a good idea.

Me too!

I figure the stun gun was a re-gift.

I assume Beaver does not

I assume Beaver does not provide gift receipts to facilitate the return of her shitty gifts. Because she probably doesn't have them, lol.

Ha no...never has a receipt.and what I can gather

she got it from Amazon.

Am I the only one in

Am I the only one in hysterics right now?!!! LMFAOOOOOOOOO

Oh no..I was speachless at first and then I started to lmaf

cause..yes every 17 year old girl wants a stun gun and pepper spray.

Like I said..I cannot make this shiznit up.

It was the stun gun and

It was the stun gun and pepper spray that did it for me. LMFAOOOOO

We always wait for the skids

We always wait for the skids to turn on their BM. Now she has weapons to use. Cool. Lol. Eyeroll.

Yes..she can use them the next her mom decides

to punch and bite her. (*that actually did happen*)

If she pepper sprays her mom...

I will buy her shoes.

I will buy her what ever she wants

if she does that and takes video

I can explain

Food dehydrator (you better dry some food 'cause I'm not cooking)

Regifted sweaters ( why don't you move to the south pole?)

Broken typewriter (you'd better not write a "Mommy Dearest" tell all)

Sled (maybe someone will take them both home and adopt them when I drop then off at the hill then take off.) Bonus: maybe they'll cart in the shopping.

Diffuser blow dryer (obviously for Beaver to use)

Stun gun/pepper spray (to be used against halo and her DH)

Let's give BM credit

Hey, guys, let's give BM some credit. At least she BUYS the gifts. My SD steals mine.

SD leaves her money here

because Beaver will "borrow" it from her. Borrow as in take and never to be seen again.

Little Idiot got a used

Little Idiot got a used camera that didn't work one year too from The Skunk Ape. Of course then DH feels double the guilt and we have to shell out more to make up for it... hmmm I wonder if it's a plot.

Agree with JRI

Beaver at least "buys" gifts lol. My husband's ex never gave any gifts to him. My husband had no idea there was such thing as getting a gift. When he met me for first time in his life he got gifts for birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries. This is also how she raised her son - there is never "Happy Father's Day", never "Merry Christmas", never "Happy birthday" from him to my husband. If he ever gets a partner, which I highly doubt, god help that person.

Oh, and also, she's too cheap to buy gifts for her son as well and he was raised to believe that this is a waste of money.

Beaver bought DH gifts.

but they were all things she wanted. Dehydrator, crockpot, dishes, etc.

Was Beaver always this....

Was Beaver always this.....beavery? Or did it get worse with time? Just can't imagine a guy would have a kid then come back for seconds with someone nuttier than squirrel shit.

She has always been this way...

at least she has been for the last 15 years. SD was unfortunately an "accident" as was GWR. I suspect that GWR aka SS was a bid to keep DH ..since he was getting ready to divorce Beaver after a year of marriage. Surprise..she ended up pregnant. The same was with SD..they weren't trying for a kid but poof there were as SD. DH ended up filing for divorce when SD was a year old..he filed 5 days after SD's first birthday. DH couldn't take it any longer...