Over it
*sorry alittle bit long *
I had a post some time ago when I was due to give birth to my first, I'm now having my second from my husband (been together 2 years now)
After having my son and residing with my mom for a few months , my husband vowed we would work on things we aren't going to break up our family. I feel I really tried I been such a stable factor in his kids lives since 3 &5 when me and him married they ask for me constantly and he has a hard time caring for them without me there because they are used to the care I provided for them. I know 2 years sounds like such a short time but in those 2 years I've given all of my self to the point I don't recognize myself. I'm now pregnant with second child depressed and having anxiety attacks due to my relationship and the strain of his exwife or rather what he carries into the house from picking them up from her house ,and being constantly told from him that I treat his kids poorly.
I can list some examples of what he's referring to that's happened a short time ago (I now for my mental health spend no time with his kids and see him a couple hours a week. These have been the sanest 3 weeks of my life)
•I removed my infant son from the living room while his son was playing soccer and almost hit him with the ball(I hit the ball away in time and without saying anything picked him up and exited the room. That was "too harsh")
•I lock the door when breast feeding (because SS and SD walk in and out of rooms without knocking on closed doors. But Ofcourse "they are kids they don't know better" call me old fashioned it's the parents job to teach them better...)
•I no longer do SD hair as her mother told her I am not allowed to do her hair and to yell stranger danger if I am close to her (as husband says he swears he spoke to his exwife that that's wrong and I'm just taking it out on SD that I feel hurt....by continuing to not do her hair)
Since I've stepped back from trying to be involved raising them (which has been progressively going on for a few months me stepping back more and more before I took the big leap of leaving) When they are present they are so rambunctious my son cannot nap including banging and rattling my door, they talk loudly from the other room mean things their mother tells them to say about me and my son(I kno he's a baby and doesn't understand but I'm a shield for my children even against their own family members if necessary,) often times at night I wake to find my SS just standing by my bed looking at me (my sons crib is in my room). I cannot leave my son for one minute unsupervised I've caught my SS and SD vigorously shaking him while in his seat, sticking their fingers in his mouth, stuffing objects in his mouth, my husband complains I watch them like a hawk and I tell him I feel like I can't even blink because turning my head for 10 seconds to look at the stove or grab something off the counter and run back to the living room they are doing something!
my husband says they are acting out they want my attention or he will talk to them their mother probably tells them to do these things. To me I don't see a way back to being a family, maybe I'm not experienced in compromising for the sake of making a blended family work. Even thou my pregnancy brain tells me I'm overreacting he's the father of my children , his kids are my children's big brother and sister...I can't find anything in me to be anything but over it
Why is the kid allowed to
Why is the kid allowed to play soccer in the livingroom? Why does your apology for a husband think kids should be able to walk in on an unrelated woman's bedroom without knocking? He wants you to be his nanny but complains you watch them like a hawk? Is he stupid or something? Doesn't he realize they represent a danger to your baby when they shake him, stuff their fingers in his mouth with goodness knows what?
Run. Go back to your mother's and stay there this time. Build a life for yourself that doesn't involve this ignorant boor and his feral kids any more than necessary. This is never going to get better. You are always going to be blamed, accused, for every little thing that goes wrong.
Life is too short to live in this kind of Hell.
You have a DH problem
He must realize, you are not the BM. His simply adorable kids, mean nothing to you. It's just common courtesy to knock when a door is closed and not to open it until told to.vvTeaching your kid that is parenting. Your SK are out of control... tine to have the talk with DH,, and then make exit plan
I agree your Skid is not so
I agree your Skid is not so much the problem.. doing kid things.. the problem is your SO.. that wasn't parenting and supporting you when you had your first baby.. and now there is a 2nd on the way.. I would resolve to live separately.. maybe date him when he doesn't have his child.. and make sure you get a support order for the two you have with him.
This. I would perhaps try to
This. I would perhaps try to live separately ... of hold out until both kids are old enough to look out for themselves. I worry would he get visitation? Because he doesn't seem like the type I would trust alone watching the baby with his kids.
Your DH is a moron
Your DH is a moron. You deserve better. Start looking for a divorce attorney - for the sake of you and your biokids. SS sounds like a psycho. I would RUN.