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The 90th birthday Party

Mountains's picture

My DH turned 90 this weekend and it deserved a great party. During the past 3 years it was iffy if 90 was doable but he made it.  Of course, he wanted to invite SD (63) and SS (60) then didn't ... then did.  It was interesting-SS only responded after several attempts via email to get an answer (it was no, can't come); SD said yes which was surprising since she did not invite my DH to his only grandkids graduation in May.  Meh

This was the first time in 8 or 9 years SD and the grandkids have seen DH.  She sent pictures a couple of days before to me "so Dad knows what we look like".  
 

Everyone was civil - the SD stopped me several times to tell me how great the party was.  She did keep telling who she thought was the restaurant manager (but was a successful historian and close family friend) how pleased she was he was doing a great job for her Dad's birthday.  
 

However, she did take, without asking, photos I had placed on the tables of my DH at different ages ... and took them off other tables.  I spent a lot of time finding the pictures, scanning and putting that together - it just would have been nice if she would have asked.  No biggie since I have the files but it's the principle of the thing.

Glad it all went well for DH.  Seeing him with friends of 50+ years was heartwarming. And, on the plus side, probably won't see SD again for another 8 or 9!

 

Comments

Mountains's picture

So true ... did not surprise me as much as disappointed.  She was the only one to bring a gag gift unwrapped.  Very sad.

CajunMom's picture

Can't fix her. She missed the "class" section for sure. But considering she hasn't seen her dad in near 10 years, take it as a compliment. She loved the pics of your DH enough to steal them. Guilty?????

Happy 90th to your DH! 

Mountains's picture

I have 20 years experience that it says it was not a compliment...haha!  Guilt is probably the right motivation.  She stood off to the side after she said goodbye crying and staring at DH.  Everyone heard her introducing the grandchildren to DH so they knew she had ignored him for years.  But, everyone was cordial and nice out of respect for us.  The funniest thing was she told me her dad liked to leave early so when would he be leaving? Since it was his party and with friends of 50 to 60 years, he was not going to go early! 

SteppedOut's picture

So wonderful of you to throw such a nice party for your husband. Happy Birthday to him! 

I do have to wonder if sd came to check out potentially how long it will be before "she gets her inheritance".

 

Mountains's picture

DH has required 24/7 care for 3 years.  I do most of it at home but have caregivers about 15 hours a week for respite. It's not cheap for sure.  My goal is keep DH home as long as feasible before considering a memory care facility.  If SD thinks there is a pot of gold at the end DH's rainbow, she will be disappointed.  

She was in town for the weekend but did not contact her dad to visit at our home quietly or spend any time other than the 2 hours at the party (at a restaurant) with 50 other people so no quality time there.  When she got ready to leave the party (first to go), she stood up staring at him crying for like 10 minutes.  Everyone sort of ignored it and she finally left.  It was sad.

However, my DH was happy the whole night and is still talking about it since he got to see so many of friends.  

JRI's picture

My DH is 85, so I knoiw, like you know,, that it never ends.  But the party sounds like a very nice, thoughtful event.  You did a good job.

Mountains's picture

I imagine this is the last I will see if SD till after DH passes, sorry to say.  This is the first time in 2 years my DH was able to see friends he has known for 50 to 60 years due to COVID.  It was wonderful to see him smiling all night...the memories and stories were great.  

Mountains's picture

It was worth the effort to see the DH so happy!

CLove's picture

Glad that it went well for both of you.

Biggrin

Mountains's picture

It is always good to get such support from this group!!

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Aww, kudos to you for throwing a lovely party for your DH. It's due to your love and care that he's reached such a venerable age, and it was gracious of you to include his kids at all.

Wishing you and your DH many more great birthdays!

Mountains's picture

Thank you for the kind words but fortunately we have a village of friends that look out for us! I would like to take credit for his longevity but he has some great doctors (we moved from the Mountains back home where we felt we could get better medical care) that help me tremendously.