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Step-Parent Bill of Rights (SPBOR)

Rags's picture

Here is is for reference, discussion, and use in life.  I do not recall where it originally came from.  Though it is important IMHO.

This has not floated in quite some time if I am not mistaken.  It has been in the SParent-verse for quite some time.  A recent thread reminded me of it.

Step-parent Bill of Rights

 

1-I will be part of the decision-making process in my marriage and family at all times.

 

2-People outside the immediate family - including ex-wives or husbands, in-laws and adult children - cannot make plans that affect my life without my consent.

 

3-I will not be responsible for the welfare of children for whom I can set no limits.

 

4-I must be consulted about which children will live with us, when they can visit and how long they will stay.

 

5-I will not be solely responsible for housework; chores will be distributed fairly.

 

6-I will be consulted regarding all family financial matters.

 

7-Others may not violate my private space at home, nor take or use my possessions without my permission.

 

8-I will never be treated as an "outsider" in my own home.

 

9-My husband or wife and stepchildren must treat me with respect.

 

10-Our marriage is our first priority, and we will address all issues together.

Dogmom1321's picture

11. How SKs turn out is NOT a reflection of me. It's a reflection of BIOs parenting (or lack of). 

stepregret's picture

Bingo.

The spouse with the bio kids has to manage the skids while also ensuring the step parent is considered.

Once the step parent is left out of decisions the cracks in the marriage start and resentment kicks in.

Shieldmaiden's picture

Rags - You should write a book on this. I would buy it! 

Rags's picture

I'm not sure where it originated.  I have had it on my hard drive for a decade or more and sometimes refloat it when a thread tweaks my memory.

CLove's picture

Ive got those. 

1-6 = the reason I constantly fantasize about leaving.

1A. And buying an electric bass guitar with amplifyer without discussing it with stepparent = no reason you should be allowed to play it.