Schedule changing again.
So last week we had my ss and extra day as yet again mommy made plans on the day she was supposed to have her son, that's fine but today my ex happily said to his son "say see you saturday!"
I said "no see you sunday" (we have him one week Sunday to Wednesday and the week after Saturday to tuesday) my other half explained they've had to swap days again so we're having in the extra days but mommy isn't doing her fairshare.
This means now I do t get a break from work or this spoiled child for 3 whole weeks as the week after the schedule will have to go back to normal which means yet again we have him all weekend. No kne has ran this passed me as on Saturday night my partner works which means I'm in charge of bedtime and if you have read my other posts this child is a nightmare!
I explained to my partner because we had him one extra day I the week then his ex shouldve had him Saturday instead which means that I get a break.
My partner is child free today and has no work so he's getting his fairshare of space but he just cannot see how much this is tiring me out!!
Nope, you go without his kid.
Nope, you go without his kid. He gets to spend a fun Sunday with his son and you follow through with the plans that you already had. If he ever accepts extra time with his son to make BM happy and he himself cannot be there, refuse to look after him OR take him back to her place and leave him. You are not her unpaid babysitter.
What happened to your plans for leaving?
Yep I will. I've told him we
Yep I will. I've told him we shouldn't be having him Saturdays anyway as he works so he needs to find alternative arrangements.
I didn't leave because things improved big time I was actually loving spending time with my partner and he was actually sticking it to bm but he's let himself down again by not running anything passed me, he can't swap his days with bm from the day he has off of work to the day I'm supposed to have to myself while he buggers off to work leaving me to watch over his child
I think you should keep your
I think you should keep your Saturday plans and let your DH figure out childcare...maybe that will inspire him to not be BM's childcare source. Would your DH ever tell BM that he has to work on Saturdays and you're not around, so he can't accommodate her change in plans?
Also, I missed it - how old is your SS? He can't settle himself to sleep, but he's old enough to play video games?
He's five. I've told him I
He's five. I've told him I can't be on standby and we shouldn't have him anyways in the days he's at work. BM refuses to have him every Saturday has her "gang are never available on sundays".
Told my other half hebshouldbstart putting him to bed alone now has we can't carry on sleeping in separate beds everytime his son is here.
I would continue with my
I would continue with my plans. Let your partner not get paid - maybe that'll convince him he needs to ASK you next time before he agrees that you'll play free babysitter for his ex. He does this because you enable him to do it. If he didn't have you to provide free child care, he wouldn't be agreeing to take his kid. Put your foot down and say no.
Do NOT change your plans. You
Do NOT change your plans. You are not the babysitter. Your partner needs to alter his work schedule to take care of his child or tell BM he cannot switch times due to the fact that he is working.
After all, if you weren't there, what would Dad do with his son?? So keep your plans.
Update: put my foot down now
Update: put my foot down now told him I won't be available everytime him and his ex change the routine as I'll make sure I'm not available so they shouldn't bother.
SS got into trouble at school today (me and my partners family suspect his son has ADHD other half said he's going to take the steps with getting him tested, no progress yet) he's been denied a movie day at school before half term BM is fuming but are still blaming the kids their son hangs around with (one was a ten year old!) told him they can't keep blaming other kids as both parents and me have told their child a million times to not hang around with them. I said it's about time the child had privileges taken away or else he'll never learn.
I think you should refuse to
I think you should refuse to care for him unless your DH runs the plans past you beforehand and you agree. However, the bigger issue here (in my view anyway) is do you really want to stay in a relationship with a man that includes a child you can't stand? As someone who has done the same for the last 15 years, I can't tell you it's a long and very hard slog and I don't have any of the same issues you do with my DH. We are a team and unified on parenting and all decisions and even still, raising my SD has been the hardest thing I've ever done. I tried so bloody hard to bond with her for years and years and years but it's just never happened - I don't like her and never have. In the end, I ended up partially disengaging about 18 months ago. I don't ignore her but I don't do much stuff for her anymore (as she's so ungrateful) and I've just stopped caring. It's her life and she's free to mess it up as she pleases.
So I would suggest thinking very clearly about whether you want this hard life for the next 12-15 years or more?
My 2 cents
My 2 cents
Stick to your plans
SS's Dad and mom will figure out the rest.
Do not accept any changes that you do not agree to ahead of time
PERIOD!
I did not have the never ending manipulative schedule bullshit to deal witih in my SParent time to a minor child. We were the FT household with the exception of 7wks per year. (5wks summer, 1wk winter, 1wk spring). When the SpermClan declined their visitaiton it was no real change.
Though we did learn enjoy our no kid couple together time when SS was in SpermLand for visitation.
I think you should look into
I think you should look into leaving this relationship again. Nothing changes , only enough to trick into feeling that false security, then he goes back to his typical ways.