saying spoiled... I have read that 41% of first marriages fail on several sources and I think that is very low and 60 % of second marriages fail which I think is very high... I think these numbers should be reversed.
While it doesn't specially say children, children are listed in the high factor.... While I agree, I would add it is all of the baggage from the first marriage including the ex-spouse... Kids alone wouldn't usually do it all kids can act up and be annoying biological or step... it is the whole package that does it in my opinion!!
Second marriage failures are fraught with challenges, not the least of which is children from previous relationships. However, the questions in a poll can be posed in a way for skewed results - depending on who is doing the polling, who they are polling, and the point they want to make.
If you ask those who have had to put up with marriage interference by/from skids and BMs, then the results would skew one way.
If you were to ask adult children why their parent's second marriage failed, they'd tell you it was the awful, gold-digging, selfish step parent who alienated them from their own parent. So good riddance to that 2nd spouse!
If you asked a Disney Dad why his 2nd marriage failed, he'd probably tell you that his love for his child was paramount and he could not stay married to someone who did not love and prioritize his kids like they should.
I've read statistics that first marriages in at about a 50% rate and then second marriages are somewhere between 60 and 70%.
Though anecdotally I know a lot of people who are in second marriages that have lasted way longer than the first. And I do know of several other people that have been married three times. I think it's those people who get married multiple times that throw off the statistics. Plus if you don't know how long it lasted what are the statistics worth anyway?
I think if a marriage is going to fail you better hope that it fails quickly and not after you've been married for 25 years.
Exactly that you want the marriage to end before your life's been wasted. I worry about that myself and am pretty sure I'll be one of those because I'm too cowardly to strike off on my own. We all have our reasons but I do admire those who get the cajones to bail!
I agree totally. I finally told DH to leave after 30 years. It DID take a long time to get the cojones though. and that is something I deeply regret. Don't waste time trying to get other people to change. Statistics really don't matter if you are miserble. Every situation is unique. Work on changing yourself and if the others won't follow go it alone.
Im in California, the stats are first have 50% failure (or success) rates, and marriages that involve children from a previous relationship have 60-70% failure rates.
So, that kind of lets you know that children are included, but not their level of involvement. Sadly we can only guess at causalities.
In my particular case, its not directly the child with SD15, its her Toxic BM Toxic Troll. With SD22, its her that has always caused issues.
But really, if your partner is a good partner, you can work through things successfully. If your partner is crap (and I dont mean hes wonderful as a partner but crappy as a dad crappy as a dad is also crappy as a partner) then your marriage will be a sstruggle and counseling will do little to remedy this situation.
That is because no second marriages are ended by spoiled step kids. Second marriages are ended due to the actions, choices, and failures of the breeder parents of spoiled step kids.
Once those in toxic blended family marriages realize they married a child worshipping idiot, a coward, etc.... then clarity will arrive. The marriage may still end, but at least the newly freed former SParent can move forward with the knowledge of experience to avoid the same crap again.
In my mind continuously going to the daily beatings associated with an idiot partner and their shallow and polluted failed family gene pool makes no sense.
It is akin to peeing on an electric fence, getting your gonads zapped, then going back to do it again day after day expecting a different result.
Continue to be the death of romance within a 23 yr marriage. Husband has no chance in Hell to find his balls and call his 51 yr manic depressive hypochondriac daughter and 54 yr homeless substance abusing daughter to pull themselves up to responsible adulthood! It's a freaking miracle we've made it this far! I thank God for being involved in my church, my own precious siblings that I cherish and that I'm healthy and still somehow happy!! Thank You, Jesus!
I think you are being too specifc
saying spoiled... I have read that 41% of first marriages fail on several sources and I think that is very low and 60 % of second marriages fail which I think is very high... I think these numbers should be reversed.
While it doesn't specially say children, children are listed in the high factor.... While I agree, I would add it is all of the baggage from the first marriage including the ex-spouse... Kids alone wouldn't usually do it all kids can act up and be annoying biological or step... it is the whole package that does it in my opinion!!
I don't think you'll find any.
Second marriage failures are fraught with challenges, not the least of which is children from previous relationships. However, the questions in a poll can be posed in a way for skewed results - depending on who is doing the polling, who they are polling, and the point they want to make.
If you ask those who have had to put up with marriage interference by/from skids and BMs, then the results would skew one way.
If you were to ask adult children why their parent's second marriage failed, they'd tell you it was the awful, gold-digging, selfish step parent who alienated them from their own parent. So good riddance to that 2nd spouse!
If you asked a Disney Dad why his 2nd marriage failed, he'd probably tell you that his love for his child was paramount and he could not stay married to someone who did not love and prioritize his kids like they should.
I've read statistics that
I've read statistics that first marriages in at about a 50% rate and then second marriages are somewhere between 60 and 70%.
Though anecdotally I know a lot of people who are in second marriages that have lasted way longer than the first. And I do know of several other people that have been married three times. I think it's those people who get married multiple times that throw off the statistics. Plus if you don't know how long it lasted what are the statistics worth anyway?
I think if a marriage is going to fail you better hope that it fails quickly and not after you've been married for 25 years.
Exactly that you want the
Exactly that you want the marriage to end before your life's been wasted. I worry about that myself and am pretty sure I'll be one of those because I'm too cowardly to strike off on my own. We all have our reasons but I do admire those who get the cajones to bail!
"--you want the marriage to end before your life's been wasted."
I agree totally. I finally told DH to leave after 30 years. It DID take a long time to get the cojones though. and that is something I deeply regret. Don't waste time trying to get other people to change. Statistics really don't matter if you are miserble. Every situation is unique. Work on changing yourself and if the others won't follow go it alone.
Wish I knew
Im in California, the stats are first have 50% failure (or success) rates, and marriages that involve children from a previous relationship have 60-70% failure rates.
So, that kind of lets you know that children are included, but not their level of involvement. Sadly we can only guess at causalities.
In my particular case, its not directly the child with SD15, its her Toxic BM Toxic Troll. With SD22, its her that has always caused issues.
But really, if your partner is a good partner, you can work through things successfully. If your partner is crap (and I dont mean hes wonderful as a partner but crappy as a dad crappy as a dad is also crappy as a partner) then your marriage will be a sstruggle and counseling will do little to remedy this situation.
That is because no second
That is because no second marriages are ended by spoiled step kids. Second marriages are ended due to the actions, choices, and failures of the breeder parents of spoiled step kids.
Once those in toxic blended family marriages realize they married a child worshipping idiot, a coward, etc.... then clarity will arrive. The marriage may still end, but at least the newly freed former SParent can move forward with the knowledge of experience to avoid the same crap again.
Boom!
Boom!
In my mind continuously going
In my mind continuously going to the daily beatings associated with an idiot partner and their shallow and polluted failed family gene pool makes no sense.
It is akin to peeing on an electric fence, getting your gonads zapped, then going back to do it again day after day expecting a different result.
Keep it simple. Don't do that.
Adult StepSkids
Continue to be the death of romance within a 23 yr marriage. Husband has no chance in Hell to find his balls and call his 51 yr manic depressive hypochondriac daughter and 54 yr homeless substance abusing daughter to pull themselves up to responsible adulthood! It's a freaking miracle we've made it this far! I thank God for being involved in my church, my own precious siblings that I cherish and that I'm healthy and still somehow happy!! Thank You, Jesus!