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SS never mentions me? Thinks I'm out of picture?

Cookieboom's picture

Most of the things said that are regarding me (Photos of us doing the deed) are coming up from court documents that were filed a while ago.

As far as I know, BM has not brought up my name in a while, but court is being continued until March of 2022 (BM’s attorney has just asked for a continuance until March 2022 because “There has been new evidence which requires further review which will inform the queries posed to collaterals”)

I am concerned in regards to two scenarios:

If SS does think that we broke up, are we are only prolonging the inevitable? When he finds we never broke up will s*it with hit the fan?

Or, could it be that he never a problem with me and did like me but BM made it difficult?  Some of my friends are insisting it was all BM, but if that is true, don’t you think he would have mentioned me by now? Thoughts?

 

tog redux's picture

I don't think your SS minds you one bit. I think he does and says whatever he needs to in order to get his Batshit Crazy mother off of his back.  I'd suggest you two just do as you are now, until he turns 18 and your SO will no longer have to deal with BM and Family Court.

Cookieboom's picture

but I do not want a huge issue with SS if BM told him we broke up and he finds out otherwise. 

tog redux's picture

Cross that bridge when you come to it.  As long as your SO doesn't lie to him and say you broke up, then there is nothing else you can do.  I know it seems unfair to have to pretend you don't exist, and if SS was 4, I wouldn't suggest it.  But he's 14 and BM's ability to control your DH via SS is time-limited. It's worth just staying separate until then.

Rags's picture

Be confident in the facts that you know to be true and the bullshit BM is alleging that you know not to be true.  Don't what if the SS stuff. Though he should know promptly from his dad that your relationship is intact.

Is there any credibility that there are actually pics/video of you and DH being intimate? 

I would have your attorney poised to go ape shit on both BM and SS if they invaded your privacy and the sanctity of your bedroom or anywhere else in your private space you are intimate in. 

Cookieboom's picture

Where this evidence is, we thought this was over soon.  We were hoping to see this BS evidence, Now court pushed back 3 months!

it's weird to me that SS refused to see BF because of me, now it's sunshine and rainbows and no mention of me...

tog redux's picture

BM has changed her tune. Maybe she's been told to quit withholding him, maybe she's got something else going on for the moment.  My SS went through ups and downs with alienation, based on what BM was up to. 

ETexasMom's picture

It's Christmas time and very common for step kids be sunshine and roses during the gift grabbing season. 

Cookieboom's picture

That could be, I don't know.  BF claims BM hates him and would never want to get back together.  SS has made comments of his life s&cks because they are divorced.  He once took BF's phone and texted BM, claiming to be BF and wanting to get back together.  BF said he will tell SS we are still together if he asks.....Since court is reconvened until the end of March we won't be able to find out what the game plan is or this fake evidence she claims to have.  

tog redux's picture

Eh, if she "hated" him, she would not expend so much energy trying to keep him from moving on with another woman. And it's unlikely SS would still want them together if she had moved on properly, herself. 

shamds's picture

Are hell bent on never letting exhusband move on in life out of spite and ego. Their narcissism that they're the one and marriage fell apart and their ex has found a much better partner or spouse they are happy with bruises their ego and therefore they must pay at all costs

its a never ending manipulative game until exhusband/partner puts firm boundaries and borders up, moves on and ignores the ex. 

my husband's ex wife thought after having an affair whilst they were married, marrying that affair guy week divorce was finalised, kidnapping both sd's for 5.5 yrs ending contact with their dad, that she could hve eldest sd (then 23) rant to my husband how her marriage was falling apart and not gonna survive to gain sympathy

my husband had a care factor 0 and it took him about 1.5 yrs to finally tell off eldest sd to stop mentioning bio mums name and inserting her into every conversation like she was relevant when she was not.

My husband made it very clear he was hppily married with 2 young kids who were his priority and that bio mum was her husbands problem. If she is kicked out on the street, its not my husbands problem to help her or get her back on her feet.

Someoneelse's picture

I think BM has the issue with you.  It's usually the female variety not appreciating other female variety coming around.  SDs and BMs are usually the ones who prefer SMs to stay away. They feel like someone is taking their spot.