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Does your husband have a favorite?

Stepmama1234's picture

My husband has 4 kids (my 2 SKs and our 2 kids). His oldest is his favorite. He will admit it and honestly I think it's noticeable, at least to me a mom to some of his children. She can do no wrong. She isn't a bad kid but she does do shitty things from time to time like all kids do. But she is perfect in his eyes and never does any wrong. His other 3 kids he has no problem telling me when they do something he doesn't like. Like it's a fault in their personality. 

I have come to peace with it for my own sanity. I know there is nothing that can change it. I know he loves all his kids so at least they have that. And I love my 2 kids more than anything so they are loved. We only see SKs like 2 days a month so it's not in my face too often. 
 

but anybody else have a husband with a clear favorite child? Or maybe you have a favorite child?
 

 

Comments

thinkthrice's picture

Being the baby of the family himself, he thought the houseshitter  (YSS now 18.5) would be "different" than the PASed out older two.  He was different, all right as in worst of all and rapidly becoming a mini spouse/mini me of all the worst Girhippo traits.

ndc's picture

My DH admittedly favored SD8 over SD6, but I have to say I'm seeing less of it now than I used to, and I don't see him favoring her over DD1.5 at all. He treats them all fairly, though.

Maxwell09's picture

My DH will admit that BS6 is his favorite. It's because BS is easier to parent because I don't jump in the way of DH's parenting like BM does. I don't save BS from his consequences, I don't let BS be a rude little shit to people without correcting it immediately, I don't cater to BS or try to bribe BS with money to like me more than his dad. I let DH be his dad and have special moments together. I let them have their "things" unlike BM who gets a whiff of something DH and SS might have in common and she's instantly jumping in to do it bigger and better than DH.

Case and point Star Wars. BM and DH were together for almost 6 years I think and never once did she bother Star Wars or space movies. They split before SS was a year old and when the new starts wars movie came out SS was about 4years old,  we did a Star Wars Birthday party for him and wouldn't you know it by the time SS went to her house on the weekend his whole room and bathroom was redone in star wars themed crap, BM started wearing star wars graphic tees and trying to take him to all the new movies in the franchise before DH could do it. She even got him a dog and named him after a character. It was comical because this isn't the first competition she's tried to have with DH. Well jokes on her because while she was so focused on Star Wars and competing with DH, I was introducing SS to Harry Potter as something more his speed and he actually loves it. He's read four of the books before he was 10 and we've watched the movies together countless times. I take him to see the new movies when they come out. 

ImFreeAtLast's picture

I think my husband slightly favors our daughter but I think it is temporary as she is at the affectionate, cute age and she loves to be be helpful. I believe he does favor our kids as they are completely different to AdultSkid. 

Unsureofthis's picture

My SO openly favours his oldest daughter. It is obvious to everyone except to him. He denies it och gets quite angry when I have raised it on occasion. It used to upset me on the other childrens behalf that he would favour one of his childen over the others so blatantly but now I just see it as one of his personality flaws/quirks. I was brought up with the belief that it's not right to have a favourite as a parent.

Rumplestiltskin's picture

My SO openly favored his oldest daughter, as evidenced by how he constantly talked about how smart, together, and responsible she is. She is an adult and lives out of state, so i believed it too. That is, until we brought her on vacation and her behavior was so bad that SO had to admit she "wasn't raised right" and can't even talk about it without being embarrassed and disgusted. 

SeeYouNever's picture

My DH favors our oldest child together. I think it's because she is cute, sweet and easiest. 

If SD would give him the time of day she would zoom to the top spot though, just because she is older.

 

thiscantbenormal's picture

Even though we haven't seen them in 3 years, I think DH favors his twin daughters over our joint daughter just because of the twin novelty. 

 

thiscantbenormal's picture

I'm supremely disappointed, sad, and my cup is empty.  It's not an obvious favortism but I know his family wishes we didn't have a child together so his other kids could be at family gatherings instead of mine. (BM went into hyperdrive on alienating the kids when she was born b/c BM demanded he have no additional children when they separated.)

shamds's picture

Kids from batshit crazy hcgubm. Frankly they all inherited their mums traits to varying degrees, ss23 who lived in our marital home whom my husband had sole custody of has issues with respect manners and intentionally shuns us and does some reverse psychology bs claiming its not intentional but he knows he actively does it. 
eldest sd25.5 is bio mums mini me henchman. Basically does anything she says or wants her to do without question, has no respect of boundaries and privacy

sd15.5 follows sd25.5 purely out of submission because she's been ordered to obey sd25.5 like a mother. When i first met them 3.5 yrs into our marriage as they'd cut off contact with their dad, i always got a vibe from sd15.5, like she didn't want to leave us like clearly she knew it wasn't healthy being around sd25.5 and her batshit crazy mum but she's terrified to say anything because sd25.5 is around her at all times.

skids show temporary attention to their dad if they get money or fancy meals out of it at an expensive restaurant otherwise its no contact. Our kids ar 4 & 5 and love their dad unconditionally. Even my husband said he loves me and our kids more than skids but skids are still his kids no matter what so he's guilted into maintaining a non existent relationship with them no matter how fake strained and 1 sided it is. 

Merry's picture

I asked DH that exact question once--do you have a favorite child? He has two kids, both adults. He admitted, with evident shame, that he does in fact have a favorite. But he wouldn't tell me which one. Like it isn't obvious, DH.

He loves both his kids, for sure, but SD is absolutely his favorite. And he thinks nobody notices.