So I'll try to give as much background on this without having to write a novel.  I am 38 and my husband has 2 boys, 7 and 9.  About 6 years ago, the bio mom died of a drug overdose after getting out of prison.  To say the least, she was a sociopath.  At that time, my now husband, was dealing with depression and financial issues.  He didn't have transportation because his car was totalled in an accident that wasn't his fault and the kids were already living with his parents since they were not allowed to live at the same address as the mother, due to her known drug issues.  When she passed, he was unable to take the kids on himself and social services got child support taken out of his paychecks to pay his parents.  He couldn't afford the amount they took out so him and his parents came up with an agreement.  He would voluntarily give up his rights so they could adopt the kids and then could collect money from the government instead.  Then when he got back on his feet, they would allow him to readopt them.  Well even though he got back on his feet a couple years later, they refused to give them back because they said they wanted to be the parents.  Even though he's allowed to see them pretty much anytime he wants.  It's obvious they just want to collect the money because they don't do anything to parent those kids other than feed them junk food and have a roof over their heads.  They're dirty, they're house looks great on the outside but on the inside it's like Satan's butthole.  They let their toilet fill up with urine and feces because they have a leak they haven't fixed in years so they keep the water turned off.  The boys don't regularly get their clothes washed and are fed anything they want which is primarily candy, hot dogs, and pizza.  There is literally no discipline at all.  On facebook, you'd think they were the perfect family but it's all for show.  Also, his parents won't tell anyone that my husband is still in the boys' lives.  They don't even have a kitchen.  They have been claiming they are going to remodel their kitchen for years but instead just use a toaster oven in the basement for everything.  My husband regrets ever allowing this situation to happen but there's nothing we can legally do at this point, he gave up his rights.  Here's where it gets even more complicated.  His kids are the most disrepectful kids I have ever known in my life.  We make them food and they tell us it stinks and if we don't let them play video games then they just complain for hours saying they want to go home.  We discipline and we don't give in, because parents aren't supposed to be your buddies.  But because his kids know there are no rules at home, all they have to do is wait us out.  We have literally begged his parents to follow through on discipline for things that they do and his parents say they will but then don't.  His youngest has said and done extremely inappropriate things.  Has talked about killing my cats, tearing them apart, told me he wants me to die just because I put a vegetable in front of him, and most recently he has started touching me inappropiately.  There is so much more but again, I don't want to write a novel.  When this was brought up to his parents, they try to say he's just a kid and will grow out of it.  Also that he touches his grandmother inappropriately and won't stop and they basically just gave up.  I am not allowing this to happen in my home and now I am pregnant with my first child and at this point I am terrified at even the idea of them being anywhere near my child, including his parents.  My husband feels trapped because he wants to see his kids but he has no influence over them at all.  We are basically babysitters.  They claim that the school is going to provide the youngest with a behaviorial aid because he has been having a lot of problems for years.  We believe it's because the biomom did drugs while pregnant with him.  My husband has said that he can start seeing the kids separate and basically just have our family be separated from them and he can see his kids on neutral territory because he doesn't want to just abandon them outright.  And I don't want it to come to that.  I have tried so freaking hard with these kids.  I have put in hours upon hours of research into what is the appropriate thing to do for the behavior we are experiencing.  I majored in Psychology.  I'm not saying I'm an expert but I have made a considerable effort with this family situation that really didn't seem so bad at first and then just got worse over the course of 3 years.  The more we fought to do the right thing for the kids, the worse things got for us.  We even went to a family therapist that told us just to ignore his parents and focus on the kids.  We did that but again, we have no authority over them, they know they get to go home and our place is just temporary.  They can act however they want because even if we put them in time out, they get to go home and play a bunch of video games and eat whatever they want in a few hours.  I get that I married my husband knowing his family was like this.  But now that I'm pregnant, I'm having a considerable amount of fear regarding how my child will be affected by this environment.  Please help.  My husband has even conisdered calling social services on them but he's worried the kids will be taken away and he will never see them again.  I feel like we're prisoners to his parents.  Sorry this was so long.