PAS SS reached out
Thank you for your replies in regards to BF wanting full custody. We dealt with it in therapy, where therapist told BF that this affects me as well, and he needs to discuss big life events with me from now on. I understand him wanting SS away from BM because of her behavior I am still not sure what to think about it…….
SS has started reaching out to BF, talking small talk when BM not home, telling him things like he cannot wait to “visit” him. He does not ask about me or mention if we are still together (As last I heard he told BF he would never see him again until he dumps me).
In addition to BM bringing stacks of BF’s text messages (If you haven’t been following she broke into his iCloud account years ago and has been reading EVERYTHING he has done) and showed a thread message texts to the court between a woman named “Carol” who BF had dated briefly and he sent some D*** pics. BM made the comment that this would surely break us up once I find out about it. The problem is that the thread was dated before we met and he told me about her (Ummm not about the D*** pics but I already knew about her!!!)
Anyway, I don’t know if SS is reaching out now because he thinks we are broken up or not. My anxiety is through the roof, I have no desire to go through what I went though before. I made it very clear in therapy that since I have been emotionally, physically and publicly dragged through the mud by BM and WILL NOT BE disregarded by BF. To be continued I guess!!!!
If you haven't read my post
BF changed his Icloud credentials to his Icloud account when he found out she broke into his information, so I am thinking it may be a ploy by both of them to get back into his account. If you haven't read my post on general, BF announced he is going for full custody (No discussion with me beforehand). I have been househunting, we decided to get one togehter since SS was gone, now I am going to go back to my original plan to get my own house.
Does BM know that DH is going
Does BM know that DH is going to file for full custody? If so, then she had SS reach out to make it appear that she's not withholding him.
My SS was alienated from 15-18.5, and came back around after BM filed for college tuition and DH told the court he hadn't seen SS in 3 years. Well, wouldn't you know, here comes SS! DH was gradually able to rebuild his relationship with SS, so even though it was initiated by BM, it still worked out positively in the end. Though I will say, it's been almost 3 years and they still have a fairly superficial relationship, though at least SS responds to any communications DH sends, and he's never nasty and hostile.
Thank you
Interesting! I don’t think BM knows about his plans, however; his lawyer asked the judge that the court ordered therapist be removed from the case (The one who stopped therapy with BF as he said he didn’t have the moral compass to continue therapy with an abuser who chooses transients in his life over his DS.) and requested a new PAS/Reunification therapist that he has used with other clients. They are waiting for the judge to make the change. Thanks for the insight, I think that may be the reason!
Yes, it's her trying to look
Yes, it's her trying to look good for court. Your DH should take full advantage and continue some communication as he can. Even if he sees him outside the home for now.
I agree!
He is doing that. SS has been texting him all morning-he's so excited to hear from him. The only issue I have is waiting for the other shoe to drop...Last time he was with BF he demanded that BF dump me ASAP...Still no asking about me, but BF said he is going through with the PAS therapist and going forward with the custody stuff.
He should expect SS to go
He should expect SS to go silent again for a while, that's how it goes. DH should just keep up texting him. Sounds like SS's mother gave him an opportunity to reach out to his dad and he's doing it! That's good. How old is he?
He is 13 going on 14. We are
He is 13 going on 14. We are not sure if she had him reach out because of the order for the new therapist or if BM is not around. But he is excited to hear from him....Before the alienation SS would facetime BF with BM in the background and demand to know if he was with me, and if so "break up with her right now" then BM would get on the facetime and yell how SS hates me, do the right thing and "dump that skank"
I just hope that this rhetoric doesnt repeat itself, as I told him that this is the last straw (Him not discussing his intention to file full custody) and that I will not stick around if I continue to be disrespected when I have done nothing wrong.