Chapter 24, Part 1:  Family Therapy Round One:   Where In The World is Bratty McBratFace?

We had made an appointment in early June of 2020 with myself, SO, and Bratty McBratFace, about a week or so after George Floyd’s death which sparked nationwide protests. 

We had made a Saturday appointment at Bratty’s request as she was working ‘a lot of overtime’ during the week.  SO and I log into the video call from our living room.  The therapist joins promptly.  We make introductions, etc. and Bratty has still not joined the session.  The therapist inquires and SO says he is not sure why she is late.  SO texts Bratty but gets no response.

We decide to start our session and assume Bratty may be running late.  I go over my goals and SO shares his, which are similar.  The therapist inquires a bit about SO’s divorce and Bratty’s history.  At this point we are more than halfway through the session and the therapist states that she thinks it is quite relevant that Bratty has not shown up.  She asks us our opinion.

I tell the therapist I am not surprised as I view Bratty as immature, irresponsible, and not willing to make meaningful efforts to establish a positive relationship with me.  I also expressed that felt that everything was one-sided with me making an effort but getting targeted resentment in return from Bratty.  SO said he was surprised that Bratty was a no-show as she had wanted this and was a big believer in the value of therapy in general.  The therapist opined that without Bratty there it would be difficult to be sure but she did believe Bratty like had issues stemming from her ‘rejection’ by her BM (which can be real or perceived rejection by Bratty).  And that children rejected by their BM tend to repeat a pattern where they reject others throughout their lives.  In some cases, they even reject the therapist attempting to treat them.

As we end the call the therapist asks how we’d like to proceed.  SO says he would like to wait and hear from Bratty as to why she was absent.  We agree to circle back after that.

That afternoon, SO was concerned that he had not heard back from Bratty at all.  He started thinking some terrible fate had befallen his child.  He was considering trying to call local ER’s.  Then just before dinner, a text comes in from Bratty.

The reason she did not join the session {drumroll please}:  Bratty forgot. 

Then Bratty piled on a complex explanation.  Well, she was overworked and tired from all her overtime.  And she was upset about having to work during the week and therefore unable to join the protest marches.  She had gone to a protest march that afternoon and deliberately left her phone and wallet behind in case tensions escalated.  So she did not get SO’s text and had simply forgotten the appointment altogether.

SO’s response to this, after he had been worrying all day:  “Bummer”.  He did tell Bratty she needed to apologize to the therapist and myself and then set up a separate appointment to catch up before we can continue.  Bratty responded with a very curt OK.

The next day, an email comes in from Bratty to myself and the therapist.  Bratty said she was sorry she missed the appointment and then went on with her big story about being overworked and at the protest.  She respected our time (*cough – bullcrap - cough*).  I responded to Bratty’s email with a simple thank you for the apology, but if it happened again I wouldn’t continue.  The therapist responded with a thank you and an admonishment that regardless of outside events we all needed to be responsible about our appointments.  She agreed to schedule an individual session with Bratty first and then circle back for a group session after that.  Bratty completed her session this time and our next group session was scheduled soon after.

That session was a disaster.  Bratty came in with a full-on list of demands that included some ridiculous things expected of me.  I finally lost it on her in the session and Bratty did not like that at all – and she let the therapist know it later.  We’ll find out what happens next…