Reflections of Step Hell
I love this site. Even though I am living a post step hell life I come on here often, especially when I am bored at work. Ladies and gents my hats off to you for making it work. Most of you have a not so hellish life so you can truck on.
I recall in my darkest times worrying ahead of time of different scenarios. One that often entered my mind was what if my (now ex) DH croaked before me. I would feel sick and imagined the worst case scenario. SD and BM at the front leaving no room for me. Speeches made by them and the mention of his ever lasting love for them without mentioning stepdrama2020 existence.
Do y'all ever do that. For fun, or for seriousness how would your skids or BM ruin his funeral? Morbid I know, but this could be entertaining.
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Sad, but something that DH
Sad, but something that DH and I have discussed (I think military families have these talks more than most LOL). We honestly don't think that SS16 would show up. The only thing that would happen would be BM demanding money from me in some manner. Fun stuff.
Justmaking...
Yea BM's can be like that.
It is a sad thought, especially if you have an awesome DH. I can laugh at this because its purely fictional. Not that I want my ex to croak lol,may he live a long life of misery with his mini wife. I am looking at the entertainment value of the dysfunctional skids and BM.
Something of the same here,
Something of the same here, OSD not showing up. OR showing up and pretending she's the most sorrowful person in the place while ignoring me. Then comes the $ grab. I need to make sure DH gets his will set up ASAP. This is a good reminder.
I would be the one organizing it...
Dh wants cremation and ashes scattered kind of thing. No memorial or burial. I told him I would put his ashes in a rock in the garden like my parents do with their pets.
SO, in my imaginations, its BM not invited, very small friends and family, maybe SD21 Feral Forger. Then I have to pack things up for SD14 to take back and then she asks me if she can still live with me when she turns 18 and I say yes.
I dont really think too much about ceremony. But BM has zero claim on his memorial.
I think that's what we're
I think that's what we're going to do for both of us, eventually. I don't even want to chance BM showing up with her fake tears about their 5 year relationship that she never even wanted or participated in. Just our kids and closest family.
I've already decided to
I've already decided to prevent BM and alienated skids from any service. No way will I open the door to toxic drama.
Ha, BioHo would show up under
Ha, BioHo would show up under the guise of "supporting the skids". My DH already knows that BioHo will not be allowed through the door. If she managed to slip by and I was incapable of turkey-walking that twunt out the door, there are a number of people who would hustle her arse out ASAP. Including my police friends.
Aniki
Glad you have friends to walk the twunt out the door. LOL
I would toss donuts out the church door and guaranteed BM would be on that like a pig in mud. Mini wife would have her crocodile tears so I would hand the bitch a bucket to cry in.
^^^^So funny I spluttered my
^^^^So funny I spluttered my tea!^^^^^ I guess I would have to tolerate the SDs at DH's funeral and for sure NPD BM would come too, milking the event for all the drama she could. I would sit at the front in my rightful place with my two daughters and hopefully as most crematoriums have very short pews there would be no more room for anyone else, including not my MIL whom I have been estranged from since 2018. . I would not say a word to her nor to NPD.
They'd have to because I don
They'd have to because I don't want to go to jail!
If there was a bar outside serving free shots, 'Ho would never make it inside...
I hear ya
For my ex BM if there was a Dunkin Donuts outside I would have no fear !
Another fear of mine was ex SD would do pic boards. All of her and daddy and BM. Maybe one of me in an unflattering light, if I was lucky lol
OH YES!
The "supporting our chhhhiiiiilllllddddrrrreeeeennnn we created together". Toxic Troll of course would have to drive with Feral Forger and Munchkin and insert herself annoyingly. Like she did at my MIL's vigil.
Oh, I'm sure that when DH's
Oh, I'm sure that when DH's grandmother, mother, and aunt pass that 'Ho will show. That's out of my control. But my DH could freeze a festering hair follicle off of a dead rhino's arse with a narrow-eyed stare, so it would be wise for 'Ho to stay at the back of the church. IF that satanic abomination could make it past the narthex without bursting into flames...
Bucket of tears
I fully expect SD59 to have a dramatic, crying collapse when DH dies. The reason I know is that whenever we touch on any illness, and DH has prostate cancer, she tears up. Just today, we were watching prospective buyers coming to the house across the street which is for sale. The convo drifted to if/when we sell this house. I said that as long as DH can manage this house (steps), we will be here. She was starting to get that anxious look and so I stopped talking.
When he goes, I don't plan to call her. I'll ask one of her brothers to break the news. I plan to ask one of the kids or GKs to keep her away from me at the funeral. Afterwards, sayonara SD, I'm moving away.
BM would not attend but Bratty would
Not sure if SO's other two kids would attend or not. Bratty would sit there quietly wondering who they can freeload off of now. She knows it won't be me so she will sucking up to aunts/uncles/cousins.
She will also challenge everything in SO's estate that isn't going to her (I am his executor) so will be a major PITA to get through the distribution of assets that he wants (I get half and Bratty and his other 2 kids get 1/3 of the remaining half - and Bratty will think she should get all of it LOL).
Bratty will want to go through his photos, etc. No problem - here are some local hotels you can stay at 'cause you ain't staying with me ever again!!
I am with Surviving...
My spouse was widowed so no concern there.
However, his estranged adult children... just NO. Not my responsibility to inform them and they sure as h*** will not be permitted to attend with the rest of our family they have wanted nothing to do with and make a sad situation much worse.
I am of the opinion if they have not cared about dad or wanted to see him while he was living there is no healthy, nontoxic reason to see him when he isn't. Not my responsibility to facilitate anything in this life for them. It isn't a moral issue it is a common sense issue.
I was always worried that if
I was always worried that if DH passed while Spawn was still in our care, that she and Meth Mouth would somehow think they were entitled to our assets. I could envision a huge drama filled court showdown, where Meth Mouth would cry to the judge "But Spawn was his CHILD and she needs the money!! Advice works, she doesn't need the money!"
I knew there was no basis in reality, but I could see Meth Mouth and Spawn doing whatever they could to try and get money out of DH even in death.
My DH has made it very clear
My DH has made it very clear -- no funeral. That won't prevent me from having a gathering of our friends at some point, and if skids want to do the same have at it. My issue will be SD wanting to control everything, and there will be very little to control.
I can totally visualise
I can totally visualise Stepdrama 2020's worry happening to me if my SO passes away before me. OSD23 would completely take over along with BM1. It would be all about his life in relation to her and the other skids and I would be relegated to a footnote in his life if I was very lucky or more probably not a mention of my existence.
Of course it would be turned into an occasion that would outdo Princess Diana's funeral.
Then of course there would be the cash grab after the will is read which is why I have refused to move in with him despite us having been together a long time.
I just couldn't be bothered with all the squabbling and fighting for any shared assets. And there's no way I want any of the skids getting their hands on any of my cash if I should die before my SO....
Quite sad that you have to think like this - but that's the reality of step life.
The picture board
DH and I were asked to go to the funeral parlor when BM died. It was surreal but on the upside, I could make sure she was really dead. Bahhhhhhhaaahhhh. Lol. Anyway, ex DIL made a picture board, that was a kind gesture. Only problem was, 95% of the pictures were of BM and exDIL's kids. Hardly any other of her 3 other grandkids or anything else. Weird.
If my DH died before me, I
If my DH died before me, I highly doubt BM would rear her face at the funeral. The whole town knows her dirty little secret now and it would not go over well with DH's family and mine there giving her the daggers. Plus my mother has no filter and just might give her a piece of truth hurts. And then I would imagine that I would move back to my city, with my kids, and only visit my kids actual half brother a few times a year. But not OSS, ever. And I would be single until my kids are grown and moved out so that no one would ever have to go through this again.