Hi CLove, I have disengaged a long time ago and have not any contact with DS.  The issue is when BF starts up his visits and DS starts Facetiming while with me and demanding he break up with me.  When DS starts his visits at BF's house and demands BF call me and break up with me.  Both BM and BF has parentified this kid.  I'm wondering what BF could say to DS when he starts his "break up with her or else" saga.  

NDC, this was not his therapist, he is trying to get therapy through the courts (BM wants them all to go to DS therapist that she knows, BF has never met). In the past, BF would tell DS "I want to spend quality time with you and I don't want to spend our time together talking about Christy" (Advice from his therapist), when DS would facetime him, I would leave the room and he would tell son he wasn't with me, DS would demand he break up with me, BF would ask "Why did you call me, if it is it something important let me know, I'm not discussing this" then BM would get on Facetime and start her crap about how he is choosing a "skank" over his son.  In the past he has not given DS consequences because he said he would "lose his son."

Also, I posted this in another forum about CS that BM recently told BF that she is going to "sue" me for CS if we get married.  Not sure if that is legal, I have heard that BMs can use the family income to get more CS....

Thanks CLove for the info!!! 

Winterglow, I don't know what her issue is.  She HATES BF...She left him for a married man but still acts likes she owns him.  She told the police that I turned him into a crazy man (When I starting dating him I let him know right quick that I was not going to tolerate her running our lives)...His therapist thinks she is mad because he is happy and her relationship with the married man has always been toxic with him going back and forth for years between her and his wife.  But I don't know.  Sometimes I get suspicious wondering why she won't leave him alone, constantly calls him a liar and trys to control his every move.  

Yes, there was a court order at one time.  She ran off with married man and relinquished all parentinig rights, told him not to pay CS and not go through courts.  I told him to get an emergency full custody order which he did not.  She came back (Her BF went back to his wife, my understanding is he has been going back and forth between them for years, he is living with wife and they are still in contact, DS still calls him "Mom's BF") and took DS back, had him served with papers for back CS (Which he had to pay!!) and was mad that he had moved on to me, DS liked me until she came back and turned him against me.  She had BF arrested and wouldn't let him see DS, stating that he will see DS once he dumps me, tells BF and DS that I am a "skank".  They just went before judge, which judge ordered BF to see DS (Also his lawyer put it on the record that her BF is married....yes the courts don't care but she wanted NO ONE to know)...

The lawyers are writing up new CO. 

*biggrin*  I like your advice!!!  *biggrin*  Not sure if BF would say that but one can always hope!

Thank you for all of your advice.  BF told me that he has decided to say to DS, “Don’t worry about anything.   Its just you and me forever, we need to strengthen our relationship and you are number one.” 

I was kind of upset as I felt this is not the right thing to tell DS as it is making him think that I am not important. He sensed me being upset and told me he doesn’t know exactly what he will say but he is going to do the best he can when he gets DS back..

I spoke to my friend (who is a therapist) and she said it would be better if he told DS, “My relationship is non or your business, what would you like to do today?” and what he is planning on saying seems more like an “actual” statement and he should not be giving his son “actual” statements.  She also advised that I need to disengage and focus on my own life (like I have even doing).  All in all, I WILL NOT go backwards and if the drama starts up again I REFUSE to live in it. 

BF heard from the attorney as BM was holding back the therapist's name  (as he was court ordered to attend with DS).  BM told attorney that she stopped taking DS bc of the pandemic (she told BF that the therapist released DS bc he was fine and didn't need it) and began taking him again after the arrest she wants him to have a relationship with his father but DS refuses to see BF because he won't dump me, and maybe now he will listen to therapist when he is told that he will only get DS back once he dumps me.  
 

My question is would a therapist do that? Demand he dump me? And if so I'm thinking if it's better to break up so he can see his DS then maybe I should do the right thing and leave him so he can have a relationship with DS....also, a friend sent him a screenshot of a FB post of her with married man and DS, posting about great times with family dated this past Xmas, and she told judge that she left him for the sake of DS and BF needs to do same...BF said he's not letting DS and BM run his life but I feel like he will never see him because of me, maybe I need to be unselfish and leave so he can see DS....

You're right...I guess I feel that if therapist is now on board that we need to break up, it will be too stressful for us, apparently DS has told therapist that he won't see BF until we break up and therapist has said that DS has a voice and needs to be listened to.  BF has been so stressed since this ordeal and it is painful to watch.

Apparently therapist said "she knows how DS feels and it's time that BF stopped putting his own needs first" (Yes this came from BM's mouth, we won't know the whole truth until BF meets with therapist but it seems BM has swayed the therapist).