Thanksgiving was interesting.
We drove up to my mom and dad's last Friday to spend time with them and to help mom get her usual way over the top feast prepared. She cooked for 2 weeks straight before we arrived and we helped her for the entire week before TG.
Our kid is stationed in Germany and there is a military travel lock down so we knew we would not see him.
My brother's 3 kids two of them with SOS in tow came. Which actually turned out far better than any of the 4 of us expected. My brother went non linear when he learned that my wife and I were coming to mom's and dad's and did not want his kids and their SOs here either. He is completely paranoid about our elderly parents (76 &78) catching the virus.
He sent me a strongly worded text outlining g his expectations that we would not go to our parents for TG and that if we did that we would wear masks and socially distance from them and stipulates that if his kids went against his wishes and did come to our parent's for TG they would mask, socially distance, and not come in the house at all and would eat outside.
Yah, that is not how it worked. Dad dragged the first of them to arrive into the house and the rest of them came in as they arrived. All masked and no hugs except for my nieces DF who made it clear that he was not on board with my brother's demands.
Great evening, amazing feast and a fun family visit.
My brother video called from Asia and did scold his kids for breaking his eat outside stipulation though other than my niece and her DF they all did remain masked and ate at a socially distanced 2nd table that my mom insisted on in an attempt to placate my brother. The 4 of us and my niece and her DF all ate at the dining table.
We did invite a friend though she canceled due to not feeling well.
I pointed out to my brother that everyone attending were sequestered, working from home, and having very limited social exposure. He was hearing nothing I had to say.
That is his problem.
Your brother sounds
Your brother sounds incredibly controlling.
Not usually. This is unusual
Not usually. This is unusual even for him.
He is absolutely paranoid about mom and dad catching the virus. He has four friends or coworkers who have each lost a parent to Covid this year.
He also is a fly bye family relationship guy. An occasional call and an occasional few hours layover visit and that's about it. Other than that, he makes very little effort.
Paranoid. Me too.
Paranoid, to me, implies an unwarranted concern. Your parents fit into the elderly range (and may have physical problems others of that age have). You, I believe, have diabetes. He knows four people whose parents have died of Covid. I don't think his concern was unwarranted.
If he's paranoid, count me in. We never see the steps on holidays. My oldest is out of town. My youngest is local. We discussed it earlier and decided that he'd come. We'd mask when not eating. We'd eat socially distanced. Then our state Covid rates jumped and the recommendation was that you celebrate only with those in your household. I uninvited him and told him I'd drop off his meal. He works outside the home with a vulnerable population.
I had to take a walk the first time I read this post.
I was so angry. I had to quarantine AWAY from my DH & mom on Thanksgiving because a co-worker did exactly the same thing with an early family Thanksgiving and as a result exposed me to COVID. Both mom & DH are very high risk. Rags' brother isn't paranoid he's smart and considerate of others and his concerns were valid. And the reason the military has locked down travel is to reduce spread of COVID!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Sounds like you all had a great time, your brother notwithstanding!
Additional information may be
Additional information may be in order. Everyone has been quarantined and working from home. Not one of the 9 people have been publically active in months.
The risk is negledgiable.
The kids, all adults, intended to spend the holiday weekend with my parents which is what motivated my mother to roll out the full meal deal holiday magic. My mother has a preparation calendar on the counter that started on Nov 12 based on the kids prior commitments.
My brother never spoke with my parents other than a brief cautionary text. He then f-ed his kids up with his mandates and the whole thing was unnecessarily undermined.
Other than my niece's fiancé the rest of them (4) were paranoid about my brothers anger and aggressive interferannce.
Little bro and I are about to have a long discussion about his decades long failures to step up with our parents and his kids following g his example.
Unless
They were completely locked down, had groceries delivered, didn't leave the house and didn't have interactions with anyone, the risk is not negligible. For example, how did u and DW travel to your parents? Drive? Fly? Either way u likely had public interactions. I am not trying to drag u here but my co-worker said pretty much the same thing. So unless u had eyes on all the folks that showed up for dinner u don't know that they really quarantined. I am very fearful for the next several weeks in this country.