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Pleaseadvise's picture

Im new here but i need advice, ive been married to my husband for 16 years and his adult daughter who always disrespects me and acts like im not there whenever she comes to our home. Anyways well shes pregnant by a guy she dated two weeks and now she wants to come live with us well when we bought our house i had a long discussion with my husband regarding that this is our house and i was not willing to use my inheritence money as a down payment if his kids where going to be moving in(we have seperate accounts because he has always supprted his adult step kids and i got fed up six years ago so i got my own account so i wouldnt be supporting them anymore) well this morning he says do you want to go for a drive wiith me i said where he said to move my daughter cause she needs to move out of boyfriends. I said nope i wasnt going and now im pissed and dont know what to do because i cant live with her i know i cant. So please tell me what i need to do. Oh and he has nothing no retirement nothing because he lost a job after 12 years abd spent it all on him and his daughters. If i leave im afraid he will get half of mine

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Rumplestiltskin's picture

So he is just moving her in? And she's pregnant? No talking to you first, no plan for it being temporary until she's on her feet, nothing? Jesus, this is my worst nightmare. Even my own still-together parents talked it out with each other first and made sure i knew it was temporary the few times i "boomeranged" back as an adult due to first a divorce and second a natural disaster that made my house unliveable for a while. It was for 4 months the first time (way too long for my mom) and 6 weeks the second. 

notarelative's picture

Your situation is why I always say prenuptial for a second marriage. Whether the daughter ends up moving in or not, see a lawyer about your rights to the house. Laws vary from state to state so it's hard for anyone here to give accurate advice. Also there are various ways a house can be titled. The exact wording of the title can have a bearing too. See a lawyer. You want to know about the house and you want to know about any retirement accounts you have. 

hereiam's picture

If i leave im afraid he will get half of mine

Talk to a lawyer. Find out what your options are.

I told my DH when we first started living together, that no other adult lives with us. That included his daughters. They were minors, at the time, but there was no way they were living with us as adults. No way.

SteppedOut's picture

Did you tell him, "Wait, no! We discussed this PRIOR to purchasing the house and the ONLY reason I agreed was YOU agreed your kid would NEVER move in."?

He is trying to steamroll you into this by acting like you have no say. YOU DO. Tell him if he now decided he wants to support his kid and cohabit with her, it is time to sell, each getting what they put in - split anything above that is profit. Push back before it is too late. 

hereiam's picture

Push back before it is too late. 

This^^^^ Do not lay down. She will need to figure something else out, pronto.

Harry's picture

lock the doors.  Let him go go a hotel with her. You told him no Adult kids and he disrespect you by trying to move in his DD.  Time to talk to a lawer ASAP   Or you wopill he stream roller over from now on 

Thumper's picture

You and your husband came to an agreement. HE can not move those goal posts without your ok. . When he does...everything changes.

DD should be 1. taken to social services who will help her if she is low income. No shame in that or 2. Daddy 'O can Give her 1 months rent on a rental she can afford based on her income. DO NOT  co-sign rental agreement. 3. discuss adoption as an option? 4. IF no adoption make sure she has lover boys info. She will need it for court, paternity and child support plus visitation.

I am so sorry you have to deal with a switcher-roo. I do NOT Like people who do that.