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Autistic ss creeping me out

Lolowee's picture

My ss is 7 and barely speaks, he has severe paranoia with sounds and will hold his ears even if he hears beeping, commercials, ticking, and even music.  He does weird things like touch his private area all day long no matter how many times you tell him to quit, we tried making him wear different types of underwear but he still does it and plays with his nipples (sorry i know tmi) so much that one is deformed now. He tries to touch peoples breats all the time even strangers and if we tell him to stop he will try to touch peoples arms and legs.  I tried talking to my wife and shes concerned too. She says he never did this before. She thinks it started after we had our daughter who is now 6 months old. She thinks hes just trying to get attention. To me this is just plain creepy. No matter how hard we try to set boundaries he keeps doing it. He only speaks like a 2 year old so it's hard to even discipline or him. He has this obsession with people hurt. Like if my daughter cries he starts laughing hysterically. I've even caught him trying to touch her nipples and laughing. It's really disturbing. I feel bad for my wife. Sometimes I catch her crying because she doesn't know what to do. I feel like his grandmother is a bad influence for him. Everytime we try to make him independent like eat for himself, we catch her dragging him down spoon feeding him like hes a baby. My wife said her mother might be the issue cause shes caught her walking naked in the house. When she confronted her about it she her mom said "he doesn't know and i was just getting dressed after I shower it's not a big deal" She has like no shame and will go to the bathroom with the door open and crap in front of strangers. My wife breastfeeds the baby but she covers herself and goes to the other room. I've heard that it's normal for autistic kids to be inappropriate but this feels like a whole other level. I never leave my baby from my side I'm so scared of him. I feel like he will never get better and I think my wife is starting to see it now too. 

Comments

BethAnne's picture

What does the boy's therapist and/or doctor say about all of this? Do they have some ideas why he is doing this or suggestions? This is something to discuss with professionals. It should definately be addressed.

I don't know about autistic children, but most children would not start behaving like this from an acidental viewing of a naked grandma or their mother breast feeding a sibling, so I think blaming your mother in law or having your wife feel guilty and like she has to hide herself when breast feeding is needed. 

beebeel's picture

My autistic nephew was very much the same at that age. No one walked around naked in front of him. He still thought babies crying was the funniest thing and he was constantly fondling himself.

SIL finally got him a bunch of behavioural and speech therapy and he's so different now. He still struggles with being inappropriate at times, but it's no where near what it was.

Is your SS seeing any doctors or therapists?

ETA: I understand being creeped out by his behavior. I was extremely leary about having my baby around him. Nephew is 12 now and he is really, really good with his 4 year old cousin. There is hope, but mom needs to get him into as many services available asap.

DHsfamilyfromhell's picture

I was told by a paediatrician to show my daughter an alternative acceptable behaviour and to keep repeating this. If a parent just says no they have no idea what to do with their fiddle fingers. This strategy helps but it won’t 100 per cent fix everything, as it is a matter of management. 

Ie I have a small area of wall in the living room covered in blackboard paint so she knows if she trries to draw on the walls this is where she draws. So she has boundaries, and I have given her an alternative if a colouring book isn’t quite ticking her boxes. 

I would probably keep him away from nudity to be honest...

the sound issue seems quite normal for someone with autism (they can have light, sound, smell, touch sensitivity).