No ceremony for me!!
DH gets a text last night from BM with details on MSS s graduation this weekend and asking if we are going. Apparently there are strict rules for people going and she wanted us to know. Wear mask, social distancing etc. Except each graduate is allowed a certain number of guests and they ALL have to sit together. This makes Zero sense and who is going to enforce it but whatever.
DH and MSS have zero relationship and haven't for close to 3 years now. MSS is horrible to DH and says the nastiest things to him. And MSS makes things up in his head that we have alll done to spite him. I can't stand him and probably never will. DH honestly can't stand him either but clearly wishes him no ill will.
DH asks BM how MSS will feel about him being there and she assures DH MSS will be fine. Ok...I am not too confident in that. Could be a set up for MSS to try and make DH out to be the bad guy again but not your monkey. I told DH I would go with him if he wanted. Mainly because he won't stand up for himself if it gets ugly. DH made the decision that it is best I don't attend. He knew I didn't want to go but was happy with my willingness to go for him.
Later in the discussion hdh lets it slip the reason I shouldn't go is because he is afraid I will let MSS have it if he starts being horrible to DH. And DH is right. YSS is an adult now so I would have no problem snatching him up by the pencil neck he has and smacking the snot out of him for spewing vicious nonsense at my DH or especially me. However if MSS acts like a mature human and is kind to DH I would be just as kind to him.
Regardless, I don't have to go and am secretly doing the happy dance!!! DH claims BM didn't have any comment about my not going. I don't fully believe that but I can say I don't care!!
Looks like this weekend is going to be a good one!!
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Comments
Ugh, he doesn't plan to go
Ugh, he doesn't plan to go sit with BM does he? Why are they even inviting him? I'd be suspicious.
Is it possible for him to go
Is it possible for him to go and not have to sit, just be far off in the background to see it and then leave? DH did this for Spawn's high school graduation. He showed up saw her walk and then left. She later made a sh*t comment about "So glad my dad couldn't even show up for my ceremony!" Thankfully our friend saw it and commented back "He was there, I let him in since you didn't give him a ticket because you didn't even invite him, but he was still proud of you despite how you treated him!"
This way he could say he was there, but chose to keep his distance.
I love this.SO MUCH.
I love this.SO MUCH.
OMG, I love your friend that
OMG, I love your friend that commented! That is great!
Please hug your friend for me
Please hug your friend for me! Should be cloned!
Yay
For YOU. Hoping that your DH doesnt get ivicerated but like you said, "not your monkee".
Ha, the whole "having to sit
Ha, the whole "having to sit together" part reminds me of when crazy BM told DH that when we showed up for SD's practices/games/etc that not sitting with her only hurt SD. What?!?! In reality she was mad that SD was paying more attention to us than she was BM and it was obvious b/c we were on the other side of the ice skating rink!
I tried to get details
About the whole sitting together thing. I mean that is ridiculous. We aren't quarantining with BM and that group so how it is safer for anyone to force DH to sit with them? I told DH he needed to tag along with a friend of ours who is a teacher (if she goes to graduation) and sit with her. Honestly who is going to tell a father he has to leave graduation because he would rather sit alone vs with his XW....no one.
But I don't trust that MSS won't start something with DH. And BM is just evil enough to encourage DH to attend just to make it happen. All while acting innocent. Things have been way too quiet lately with BM so clearly my instincts are telling me things are not right. And I am sure DH feels the same way which is why he doesn't want me there.
Yeah, we never trust BM's
Yeah, we never trust BM's quiet behaviors here either. It is always the calm before the storm! The whole sitting together does not sound legit.
Is it just for a money grab? Like they invited DH so he could show up with a card and money?!?! That seems like a possible motive to me but I could be wrong.
Possibly
That did go through my mind as well. Of course DH doesn't have a relationship with OSS due to PAS as well and DH did give him a card and money for his graduation. Not a lot of money but it was something.
I
I can't trust BM regardless. DH had a great relationship with YSS and so far BM hasn't tried to mess that up. I can't understand why but so far so good. Maybe she is trying To put DH into a situation where he defends himself so they can use that to turn YSS against DH??? Idk. Maybe I am thinking too much into it. I guess I will find out what the game is after DH gets back from graduation
Eh. when dealing with GUBM
Eh. when dealing with GUBM/personality disordered BMs that PAS I don't think you are putting to much thought into it. There is always an agenda with them. They are never "nice" for no reason and they can and will hold everything against DH and use it to further prove he is a "bad dad". Maybe she thinks MSS will get more money if he shows up...IDK...but please do update us!
Oh I will
I am pretty confident it will be a hot mess of an experience. At least I will be far away from the madness
Yes, good for you! I also
Yes, good for you! I also quit going to most things SD related long ago. Going to her sports/etc caused me anxiety! LOL! She would be the kid that was clowning around seeking attention while all the others were actually playing the sport or cheering or whatever the case. It was embarassing for me and I am not even her parent! I'm not wasting my time with that stuff and she does not care if I am there or not. Sorry DH you're on your own!
Nice for you, but what is it with DHs?
Why can't they tell their children that the child is being a butthole? Why is it the kid can cut them off with no repercussions? Why can't they hold their children (and their ex) to standards they expect of *everyone else* in the world?
Believe me, I've tried it. I've acted like the skids or BM, or acted like DH about my own kid when DH came to me about something my kid did wrong, and DH gets upset with me where he just rolls over with them.
I agree
I don't think DH wanted to go to the ceremony either. He is only going so MSS can't use that as yet another excuse as to why DH is a crappy father (which he isn't)
DH is a big boy
I have been so fed up with DH not sticking u for himself all these years I gave up. If he wants to sit with BM and endure that torture then that is on him. And if he wants to get back with her (which he doesn't) then they both deserve each other. I love DH but I am not his momma or babysitter. He is grown so he can decide what he allows from
bm and what he won't allow. Just like I will no longer allow her to affect my life. He can do the same.
DH should call the school and
DH should call the school and double check the requirements. I'm not sure I'd trust BM to relay them correctly. He can ask about the sitting together requirement then. He's not in BM's bubble/ pod/ house. He needs to social distance from her.
I agree
I started to do some digging last night to see for myself but then decided I didn't have to deal with it since I'm not going. It was an amazing feeling just disengaging from the chaos. I figure DH can look it up if he is concerned. But I agree there is no way they should force people who are not quarantined together to sit together. Ignorance at its finest.
Call the school
And get the real information. They know of divorce familys will not want to sit together
DD's school did the whole drive by graduation
thing and every family only got one car. That works if your family is intact. I was willing to forego the ceremony as there is no way in H3ll I was going to sit in a car with VI. Now way. thankfully DD is wise enough to know that it would have been a sh*t show because of her father (she loves him but all to aware of how much drama he can cause) she decided to skip the ceremony. I get social distancing and all but really you can't force split families together...it just doesn't work. Not everyone lives all Hallmark show life.
Exactly
I told DH this exact thing. No way in heck we are the only split family at this school. And I also know there are a few families who are just as dysfunctional as ours. When I would go to sporting events with DH I would sit and people watch. You could tell which divorced parents hated each other hahaha.
I may ask a teacher friend of mine if this rule is in fact a real rule.
The intention is probably to
The intention is probably to keep households together and it saves on space and seating to seat small houshold groups together rather than have each individual person have their own 6ft radius. It was probably either badly thought out and worded in the information from the school or missinterpreted by skids/bm.