Haven't been back for about two weeks. Some updates to my last post: ESY is in SS' IEP, and we should have it happen this year too. The teacher said this year the school district is really tightening up the standard and she didn't think my SS is at risk regressing. (Untrue. He can forget how to add/subtract if not practicing daily--- and once we told the teacher this actually happened, he was put back to ESY again.)

This week I had 3 panic attacks. I couldn't explain what really triggered them, except obviously I have been on high alert for a prolonged time. SS is still refusing to learn, so we decided we at least deserve some breaks from the hw arguments. Next week we just won't give him homework----sure he will regress but we can probably have some peace. At the same time, SS' bday is coming up, and all he wants to talk about was what he wants for his bday...after we already gave him something nice before that day actually comes. I probably don't even need to announce how annoyed I was and you all can feel it. I kept my mouth shut anyway. Haha.

After doing so much already, the thought of I still need do more for this kid simply makes me angry. Sure he's on the spectrum and he didn't choose to be, but he really acts like an ass sometimes and I wonder when will actually be the time he realizes he also should take some responsibilities. 

I wish there can be times when we don't really have to "include" him, like when we go on a walk. It's supposed to be relaxing but with him on the side everything is stressful. I don't know why what "he needs" trumps anyone else's need. Or, at least I feel the society expects it to be the way. 

My thoughts are not exactly organized..I just really hate stuck with SS 24/7 right now, and it's probably going to be like this for the remaining of the year....

This is not a post complaining DH not putting in the work. We BOTH are exhausted and want a break from SS. There just doesn't seem to have way to have that happen soon.